LEAVING THE SPLITS

On Friday night, I went to the Loyola Young Alumni event at the new Rock 'n' Bowl. It's really spacious in there. For $20, I got free beer for two hours, about a dozen chicken wings and bowling shoes. 

We also bowled for two hours, but I didn't do well, so we'll skip right over that part. I did better messing around with a six-pound ball at the end of the night than I did with my ball trying to hook it into the pocket. 

Before leaving the joint, I went to the bathroom and became the first person to write on the wall. If you ever go into the second stall there, be sure to check out my work. It reads: No means no. But yes means yes. And so does no. 

After bowling, Little Joe, Jenna, Greg, Joe's other friends and I went to Pal's in Mid-City. They have air hockey in the back. Joe and I played two epic games of that, with each of us winning once. I think the first match (Joe won 7-6) is playing on ESPN Classic all this weekend. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom isn't quite up to speed with the recent summit at the White House. "What's with this beer shit?" I explain the situation. She sides with Gates. "He should yell at the cop. I would have been like, 'What the fuck you doing in my house?' " 

I say something to disturb mom. "I just got back from getting my nails done. I know you don't give a shit."

RANDOM THOUGHT OF EVERY SO OFTEN

You know that moniker thing where you take the first letter of the first name and combine it with the first syllable of the the last name (i.e. A-Rod, K-Mart)? Well, using that system, our president's nickname is B-O. Eww. 

PARTING SHOT

Little Joe tells me he's bringing his bowling ball and shoes to Rock 'n' Bowl. 

Me: Really? To a social event?

Joe: Yes. We'll bowl, then later we'll drink and dance. We'll call it a Yat-athlon.

A TOP LIST

My top five moments of July. 

5) Roulette shots. July 29. 

Can't wait to play that drinking game again. 

4) Wiffle ball. July 8. 

Who invited the ants?

3) Royal flush. July 30.

I hit my first royal flush. Did it with J-10 of hearts. 

2) Ch-ch-changes in the sports department.  

And work was never the same again. 

1) Vacation. July 15-17.

Beach, bitches.