DRINK UP. THEY MIGHT PLAY BETTER.

FOUR CORNERS

-- I had the most popular story (http://www.nola.com/arts/index.ssf/2013/11/wwe_superstar_john_cena_lookin.html) on the entire site Friday. In other wrestling news, I went as CM Punk for Halloween. Didn't take a picture, though. 

-- I have five 8s in my bank account amount right now. My goal is to get to seven. 

-- I went to the first ever Pelicans basketball game. Team looked good despite the loss but not so much since. The good news is we got a bar right next to our section. 

And I still have tickets left to a bunch of games. Five bucks a pop. Get some. 

-- I turn 30 Sunday. Tina has been calling me that for five months, but now it's really here. Bob points out that my usefulness as a running back is about to expire. I wasn't born until 4:40 p.m., so I could still suit up for the noon games Sunday. They say the 30s are the best. I guess I'm about to find out. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is annoyed that the box set coming out for the complete Breaking Bad set doesn't come in regular DVD form. "Doesn't look like they selling regular DVDs. Just fucking blu ray."

Mom is working on the house. "I need a new doorbell. The fucking white button dry rotted."

And she's painting again. "I let the guy talk me into a galloon of paint for six shutters. Could have gotten by with a fucking quart."

Mom claims to be a music expert. "I listen to everything. I listen to fucking opera sometimes."

For my Breaking Bad party, I borrowed a white table cover from the neighbors to fancy it up. I have yet to return it. "Jesus Christ, fucking cloth is still here."

Mom is an aggravated driver. "Everywhere you fucking go there's construction. And I don't go anywhere."

Which may have led to her recent ticket for speeding. "Fucking school zone. I asked the cop to let me go. But he said no. He wanted to show how big his dick is." 

OH TV. YOU USED TO BE BETTER. 

I've cut back my TV intake this year. I dropped all the shows I only sort of liked. Here's my thoughts on this season. 

1. This is my favorite stretch of the Walking Dead. Love the tone of the new showrunner. Zombie use has been creative. 

2. The Middle continues to be the most underrated show on TV. It never has a bad episode. It's just a simple, good old-fashioned show about middle America. Usually, kid actors suck, but this show has 3 good ones. Plus, Jan Itor. 

3. New Girl has been slightly down this year. But I still love me some Nick Miller. Same for Parks and Rec. But they've had the two best episodes of comedy this season. Sunny is just always hilarious. 

4. Not thrilled with some storylines in Parenthood. But that's probably my favorite show on the tube right now. 

5. I have a special place in my heart for How I Met Your Mother. But at this point, watching it is like doing chores when you're 10. 

I HAVE A TOP 5 HEADLINES IN THE SECTION

BITCHIN'

I've been on a roll lately work-wise. Putting out killer sections. Writing wrestling articles. Researching the shit out of Saints history. Putting on a clinic in fun headlines in the Pelicans section coming out Sunday. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom caught the end of the last Saints' game. "Had it until the last 10 fucking seconds."

Mom had a hunch about the Venezuelan doctor on Homeland. "I knew he was fucking that little boy."

Mom doesn't like the Elmwood Best Buy. "It's so fucked up. I don't know who puts the shit out."

Mom and I went to Cowbell on Monday. Another waitress peeved mom. "This waitress is modeling around the fucking food. Who does she think she is?"

Mom asks why I took off this Sunday. I tell her wrestling. "That's the perk of being single. Do whatever the fuck you want when you want."

I tell mom she is close to hitting another car as she pulls out of a tight spot in the Cowbell parking lot. She gets out to look for herself. "Tell me I had no room. Had two fucking feet."

Mom is repainting the shutters in the front of her house. "The shutters might be dry rotted. Started spraying with the hose, and they just started fucking peeling."

Mom is driving home. "Fucking dust on River Road. My car was clean."

Mom tells me to make sure I cut the grass every so often during the winter. "Grass still grows here. It ain't like we got fucking snow."

Mom catches herself not paying attention while making me breakfast. "Jesus, Tina. You gonna burn the fucking house down." 

THAT DIDN'T HURT. LOSING DID.

VACATION 3: SPORTS SUCK

I returned to work Wednesday from a nine-day break. It was real. It was fun. And it was real fun. 

They had to drag me back into the building kicking and screaming. Like a third-grader on the first day of school. I have my arms folded and a pouty face as I type this from a conference room down the hall from my desk. Shhh. 

Here's what happened the last few days of my final vacation of 2013. I swear I'm leaving the city in 2014. 

Saturday: Bert and I went to Jefferson Playground to throw the ol' pigskin around. We used to do this more frequently in our youth and when we had others with whom to play. I miss Saturday football with friends. Sigh. 

After tiring out quickly -- did I mention I'm almost 30 -- we headed back home to watch LSU impressively defeat Florida. With enough bounces, the Tigers could reach the title game. They have the talent and scheme. Bad news is they actually need more than a few bounces. 

Saturday night saw a good portion of the group at Kelly and Bert's. Pizza was ordered as well as that much-advertised Papa John's cookie. It was OK. 

Then came time to decide what to do. The solution was that the women watched American Horror Story -- the biggest chick show on TV right now -- and the dudes engaged in an epic battle of Bezzerweizer. Bert won. 

Sunday: Typical Sunday in the fall. I watched the National Football League. The noon games saw the bet Bert and I made go down in flames as only one of the three games we picked was right. Boo. 

Then came the Saints game, which I refuse to rewatch. Here are my quick thoughts on the heartbreaking loss. 

1. I don't blame coaching. I liked all the calls at the end. As for how we allowed them three chances, I expected them to get the ball back both times. That's what happens when your defense is solid, you have all three timeouts -- four with the two-minute warning -- and you have two quick possessions. 

The Patriots ran five plays on their first two chances down 3 late. The clock stopped after four of them. So I was really upset with people saying "how can you give them three chances?" And I agreed with every play call during the Saints' possessions. Just because it didn't result in a first down doesn't mean they weren't the right calls. OK, I didn't like the jump ball throw to Colston. But I like the fact that they tried to pass to win the game with a first down. 

2. The refs suck and blew many calls. Everyone has already talked about that all week. Locally, that is. Nationally, the game was refereed perfectly fine. And I actually saw Galette get held as the play was happening. I yelled it at the TV. 

3.  Shame on Jabari Greer for letting the guy get behind him. I know he just missed tipping it away, but his only job was to not let the guy get behind him. And the receiver didn't run a tricky route, just ran straight by Greer. Ugh. 

OK, that wasn't short. But oh well. 

Later Sunday, I watched the premiere of The Walking Dead. It got 16.1 million viewers. Still not sure why this show is so popular. It's just not very good. I'm not even sure why I'm still watching. 

For a nightcap, I watched Inside Man with Clive Owen and Denzel. Great movie, though it wasn't quite as good as I remember. Felt a little dated already. 

Monday: I did some research on a long-term project I started. Very excited about it.

The Apple Dumpling Gang fell 7-3 in Week 2 of the season. The teams were even. They had about four bloop hits fall just out of our reach, we hit into some bad luck and then couldn't get any clutch hits. We had the based loaded in the sixth with one out and couldn't score. 

This also happened. 

That's from sliding for a ball in the outfield -- I just missed it -- and sliding into second. I was safe. 

Chuck, Bob, Joe and I had another nice dinner at Theo's. Chuck told a good story about a stalker. Not his. 

The TV had Catching Hell on, the story of the Cubs tragically losing in 2003. Like I said in the headline, sports suck. 

Tuesday: I picked up my lawnmower from the repair shop. It's fixed! It needed a new carburetor needle. Who knew?

For dinner, I went with Leigh and Paul to Jaeger Burger on Harrison. It was OK. The wax paper the burger is served on was melted into the cheese on Paul's burger. We're not sure how much paper he ate before noticing. 

Back at Paul's house, I met their dog, Buffy. Like any normal woman, she took to me right away. She's cute but not exactly my type. 

She definitely likes me more than her parents, though. She followed me to my car as I was leaving. And when I opened the door, ... 

She had trouble hitting the brakes, but other than that, she's a pretty good driver. She stayed in my car for 10 minutes before we forced her out. 

Can I add Buffy to the list of girls who've been in my car? I say yes. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom didn't like how I was dressed on Saturday when I stopped by for some food. "You look at yourself before you left? Jesus Christ."

Mom is wishing for fall. "It's the middle of October, and it's still fucking hot."

But it is almost Christmas time. "That  fucking music already playing in the stores. Ain't even got to Halloween yet."

They are tearing down the Popeye's down the street from mom's house. "Wonder what they are putting there. Probably some bullshit. They could at least give me my fucking hamburgers back." (A nearby Burger King closed 15 years ago and remains an unused lot.)

Mom had an accident at the gas station. "I was filling up my gas can for the lawnmower. I let it go too far, and I had fucking gas all over me."

Mom is mad that some dislike this season of her beloved Sons of Anarchy. "If you don't like the fucking show, don't comment on the motherfucker. ... They don't like that it's getting so violent. Hello, it's a fucking motorcycle gang. They sell fucking guns."

WALTER WHITE, WHAT?

Most think that Walter dies at the end of Breaking Bad. But this suggests he survived and is living amongst us. 

I COULD GET USED TO NOT WORKING

VACATION 2: NOT IN EUROPE

I'm on vacation this week to go to Bean Town for the Saints-Patriots game. But as I didn't have anyone to go with, I'm watching this Boston-Detroit playoff game on my couch on Saturday night when I could have been live at Fenway. 

But as they say, that's life. So here's what I've been up to since Tuesday on my last vacation until Paul's wedding. 

Wednesday: Bert and I decided to gamble on football games Sunday. You know, if that sort of thing were legal. We picked the Vikings, Eagles and the goddamn Jets. We need all three to win. 

Kelly informs me that she actually didn't tell a stranger that I had Asspergers. She did tell her that I'm an asshole, though. 

Thursday: As with other staycations, I picked a day to spend at the casino. I don't discuss casino results as per superstition. 

Friday: Paul's 29th birthday. We ate dinner at Bayou Beer Garden and then went to Barcadia to continue drinking but also to play games. 

But not air hockey. That broke. 

I played pop-a-shot with a high of 56. I beat Paul in Killer Instinct, which was not as fun as I remember. I played the Turtles 1989 arcade game. I was better at killing foot soldiers when I was 8 years old. Now, I'm awful. 

The highlight of the night was playing Giant Connect Four. 

That's Paul against Jacob. No idea who won. I beat Joe in four moves. Sucker. 

The big winner of the evening was the birthday boy himself. He defeated me in Giant Connect Four. It was an epic game where we both made every right move. 

Basically, we realized that the winner could be determined by counting turns because we each had one spot setup to win, and it was the same spot. 

Then, Birthday Boy faced Joe in NFL Blitz, a 2000 game that the league probably isn't too fond of now. What with all the wrestling tackles. 

Joe as the 49ers was leading 28-9 over Paul's Dolphins. But oh the fourth quarter. Two picks and some touchdown drives later, Paul won 29-28. 

When we were leaving, a drunk girl approached me and grabbed my ear. She played with it for a few seconds before moving on. Yes, I blushed. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is wondering if my buddy Greg is still living at home. I tell her yes and that it hurts when courting a young lady. 

"Why don't he just get a fucking hotel room? It's more romantic anyway."

Mom doesn't like how difficult closed captioning is to get on the Cox remote. "You should be able to hit one button and have the motherfucker come up."

Mom doesn't like her mail system. "I need a mailbox like yours. My shit blows all over the fucking place."

Mom saw a report on TV. "Copenhagen is the best place to live. Fucking government gives you everything."

STILL TRYING TO GET IT SIGNED

MY VACATION SO FAR

I'm on vacation this week. I picked this week to venture over to Boston for the Saints-Patriots battle of the undefeateds tilt. Oh, wait. The Pats have a loss now. But still. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't get anybody to make the trek. So no Cheers, Marathon finish line or Red Sox playoff game for me. Just my TV and my few plans. 

This is what I've done so far. Be jealous. 

Monday: I finally brought my malfunctioning lawnmower into the shop for repair. Guy said 6 to 10 days. Yeah, we'll see about that. 

I cut my grass with Tina's lawnmower. 

I rejoined the Apple Dunpling Game softball team for a Monday league. After one week, Joe is line for the Cy Young. We won easily, but the two teams who played after us looked like a step up in competition. 

I had dinner at Theo's with Bob, Chuck and Joe. Kind of like old times. We didn't make a newspaper or anything, but it was nice to catch up. 

Tuesday: I watched the fifth installment of Die Hard. I wished I hadn't. What the shit was that shit. Die Hard is not a franchise. It's two movies. That's it. 

I did some Saints research for two hours on the woeful running game. Hopefully, it appears in Jeff Duncan's column later this week. I uncovered two interesting stats. I then rewatched the Bears game. 

I divided up my Pelicans tickets -- even though they haven't been mailed yet -- with Joe, Bert and Paul. Can't wait to chant let's go Pels and shop at the Pelicans' Beak. 

If anyone is interested, I'm selling my own 5-game ticket packages. Two tickets to five games for 50 bucks. That's five bucks a ticket. You can mostly pick your games. Holla if you interested. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom had a long day in her yard. "I filled up six bags of fucking trash."

Mom didn't like a change Gmail made to her settings. "What a fucking mess. Why they got to change it? It's bullshit."

There is a new place in the strip mall down the street from mom's house. "That fitness center next to the Dollar General, you should see the fucking people that go in there."

Mom's favorite show is Sons of Anarchy. She notes that the creator had the character he plays die. "He finally killed himself off the show. He was always getting fucked up the ass."

SEVEN SAINTLY SIGHTINGS

1. Possibly my favorite technological advancement is taping a show from a cell phone. I forgot to tape the Saints-Bears game Sunday, but I set it to record from the Fox & Hound using a Cox app. I am still blown away by the fact I was able to do this. 

2. I started the Jimmy Graham for MVP runner-up a few weeks ago in this space. The rest of the national media caught up this week. The problem still is that if a team doubles him the whole game, the Saints need a second receiver to emerge. And who is that going to be?

3. The Saints faced eight fourth-and-1s or fourth-and-2s Sunday. They had 10 possessions. That was very frustrating. Graham just about refused to stick the ball out across the first-down marker. Maybe he was worried about getting stripped, but another yard a few more times and the game would have never been close. 

4. Chris Carr, who replaced Patrick Robinson, is the worst defender on the team. He is beat downfield at least once a game. For a cornerback, he's just not good at covering receivers. 

5. On Pierre Thomas' screen pass TD at  the end of the half, there was only one fully successful block. That was by WR Kenny Stills. There were three offensive lineman out in front to block, but two of them only threw a defender slightly off balance. 

There wasn't really a real block there. Pierre just weaved through the defendes. And center Brian de la Puente just ran downfield ahead of Pierre and found nobody to block. That's not a knock. The play just worked so well that only a few defenders had a shot at Pierre. 

The screen play is back!

6. Even though it wasn't a blowout of the Bears, it sure felt like it. The Saints were in control the whole way, and it never felt like the Bears were threatening. It was closer to being a four-score spread than it was to becoming tied. 

7. My boy Bobby Meachem was about to catch his second TD of the season until he was interfered with by an evil Bears defender in the end zone. But that would have led to him finding a Saints fan in the crowd and tossing him a pink October football. 

Like so. 

PARTING SHOT

Kelly went to Jenna's birthday party and met a newish friend of Jenna's. I've never met this girl. Kelly tells me about their convo. 

"Yeah, I told her you were an asshole."

Me: Thanks?

Kelly: "And that you have Asspergers."

MORE LIKE BREAKING GOOD

I WAS LEFT FEELING BLUE

Last Sunday night was a significant night in my life. It was the Breaking Bad finale. 

There have been other big finales. But only a few that had me itching for weeks for it to happen: Friends, Lost, 24, Desperate Housewives. That's the list. 

I've been preaching this show more than I've ever preached a show before. Plus, every episode of the last season was epic and only fueled my appetite. Friends and Lost had their worst seasons in the last one. So this felt even bigger. 

Tina and I hosted a party at my house. She barbecued a shit load of chicken and ribs with some corn on a cob. Kelly made some chicken fajita concoction. Tina also made cupcakes, bacon and bought this cake. 

Felina was the name of the finale. We ate, we drank (Dave brought Knob Creek, the favorite drink of Hank) and we discussed what crazy shit could go down in the finale. 

Then the episode happened. And I ... didn't like it. Nothing Bad happened. Walter made a plan to make things right before he died, and his plan worked. That's it. 

Sure, there were nice moments -- Walter saying goodbye to Holly, Jesse choking the life out of Todd and Walter dying surrounded by his chemistry set. But overall, it didn't do it for me. 

The consensus seems to be really positive on the finale. I didn't mean to end up on the opposite side of the majority. Lots of people didn't like the Lost finale. I loved it. It happens. 

Maybe in time the finale will grow on me, but it was just too neat. Maybe my expectations were too high, but there was just no twist at all. It was predictable. Yes, the climax was actually in the ante penultimate episode, but still. There should have been more. 

So Breaking Bad didn't jump up any more spots on my all-time list. I'm going to let it digest and decide if it drops from fourth and if so, how many spots. 

In the meantime, my TV feels oh so empty. The only shows I'm big right now are Sunny, Parks and Rec, The Middle and Parenthood. 

Another compliant: I really wanted Walter to use chemistry in the finale to outwit his foes. He used machinery but not chemistry. 

He should have killed the Nazis with barium and bromine. Or scalped them like Brad Pitt. Either way. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom loved the finale. 

At the party before it aired, mom was wondering how many people would watch. "MASH was the record. You see how many people watched that fucking finale?"

About the anticipation for the finale: "Everyone is wondering what the fuck's gonna happen."

After a few days to think about the finale, mom thought the ending song fit. "Baby Blue is a perfect fucking song. He missed the fucking chemistry. I'm rewatching it, and I said this is fucking weird. I didn't cry during the show, and now three days later, I am."

She continued: "Sorry you didn't like the ending, but that song was fucking perfect."

SEVEN SAINTLY SIGHTINGS

1. I went to the Dolphins game on Monday night using Brick's tickets. It was like watching your adopted child and your birth child go against each other. I cheered for my birth child. 

2. I almost called child's services on the way to my seat. 

Can't we get this poor child a better jersey than the most hated man on the team? Terrible parenting. 

Question: Ingram and Harper are the two most hated Saints players. Who is third?

3. In the offseason, Jimmy Graham said he was going to "pitch a tent in Drew's backyard." Looks like they had some good nights bonding in Drew's backyard because they are hooking up so well this season. One or both would get second place votes right now for MVP. 

4. I was able to observe the whole game better in person. Brees missed some opponent receivers because his first read was on the other side of the field, and the pocket collapsed before he could get through his progressions. Something to keep an eye on in closer games. 

And other times he skipped the first open receiver. On a third down in the first half, Colston slanted from the slot and broke open over the middle of the field. 

Brees was looking that way, but threw to a slanting Stills from the outside. Stills was covered, and the pass was broken up, forcing a punt. Bad, Drew. 

5. The killer instinct has been there the past two weeks, which is the reason for the blowouts. The Saints are 6 of 12 in killer instinct percentage the past two games after starting the season 0 for 11. 

6.  Paul left our seats at halftime and got lost trying to get back. 

7. And didn't they change the name of the other pro sports team here. Sure doesn't look like it.