THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom can't believe something went wrong yet again. "It's not every other day. No. It's every fucking day."

Mom thinks I broke her newly acquired shredder. "You ruined my fucking blades." She punches me hard in the right arm. "You ruined my fucking blades." Another punch. (It's fine.)

PARTING SHOT

Last week, Amanda promised to send me the text with the details of next week's Yat-Together, which will be the first one I miss. 

Amanda: July Gathering is next wednesday at 6:30 at Santa Fe. Be there! Going to be best one yet!

Me: You bitch.

Amanda: We'll miss you soooo much. 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five Samuel L. Jackson roles. 

5) Cmdr. Robby Jackson. Patriot Games. 1992.

Even on the second viewing, Tina thought he was turning on Jack Ryan in the battle scene at the house. 

4) Coach Carter. 2005.

Turned into Father Carter for those kids. 

3) Rev. Fred Sultan. The Great White Hype. 1996.

"I love you, my brother." 

2) Zeus Carver. Die Hard with a Vengeance. 1995.

"Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker."

1) Jules Winnfield. Pulp Fiction. 1994.

"Check out the big brain on Brett."