STORMIN' NORMAN

I interviewed ESPN poker commentator Norman Chad today for 30 minutes. Yeah, he called me at home. I have his cell. Whatevs.

The questioning was going OK until I asked him about Phil Ivey. That's when the interview took off. I couldn't stop laughing for the next 10 minutes.

Every year, Norms (that's what I call him for short) picks Ivey to win the World Series of Poker. And this year Ivey has made it to the final table. Norms (on the first day of the event): "He shows up on no sleep with a hooded sweatshirt after playing poker all night. I go over there. I say, 'By the way, you know how much I root for ya, would it kill you to get eight hours sleep before the world championship. It's the goddamn main event. What is your problem?' "

Norms said Ivey has a great personality but doesn't show it in interviews. Once before an interview on TV, Norms told Ivey: "Are you going to fuck me again? He said, 'What do you mean?' I said, 'Anytime we put a camera on ya, all you say is yes or no.' So I asked him a non yes-or-no question, and his answer was yes or no. The camera went off. I said, 'See, you fucked me again.'

Norms loves poker but prefers stud to hold 'em. "I don't know shit about hold 'em."

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom didn't have much to say about the murder-suicide down the street. "That's what happens sometimes. Fucking took a 12-gauge shotgun and blew her head off."

We're watching Millionaire when FOX interrupts to report on the situation with the cocaine, sick cops and the hospital . Mom: "What the fuck?" There were three other WTFs scattered throughout the day.

RANDOM THOUGHT OF EVERY SO OFTEN

Why is it so hard for people to grasp that decades go from 1-0 (i.e. 2001-2010) and not 0-9 (i.e. 2000-2009)? The new millennium started on Jan. 1, 2001. The first year was the year 1, not the year zero.

Sure, you can reference something as the 2000s (the best whatever of the 2000s), but don't say it's the best whatever of the decade and use 2000-2009. You can use them both separately. I do.

PARTING SHOT
We're shooting the shit at work.

D (to me): You investigate that situation in Harahan?
Me: Yeah. Drove by there last night. Nothing going on.
Liam: Yeah. Cuz everybody dead.