SUMMER OF CHANGE

While I was eating dinner recently on vacation, I got to thinking about the past few months and all the changes. People all around me are making alterations to their lives. So, I decided to go for a song. The waiter didn't enjoy my signing.

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Me and mom on vacation at the beach

Nick in Asia just trying to teach

Lopes is leaving us for Holy Cross

Marcus moved up to a bigger boss

Oh, yeah, it's a summer of change

Between you and me, it's all kind of strange

A chorus really should have another rhyme

But I don't have one, is that a crime?

Bert and Greg take the bar all this week

Minkus in Philly still being a geek

Jelly jumped ship to nola.com

Brick in charge, hopes not to bomb

Chorus

Christina was the latest to say I do

Amanda made her leader debut

Joe came home, took any old job

Chuck reunited with his roommate Bob

Chorus

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

The air conditioner people were able to finish the job in one day. My mom is getting used to the new system. "Fucking thermostat has a clock on it."

The new system didn't seem to be working properly. The thing wasn't cutting off at the set 76 degrees even though it was really cold in the house. "What the fuck?"

If it's not one thing, it's another. Our water heater is now broken. "Can't go a day without something breaking. Not a fucking day. Not a fucking day."

The closing of Causeway for the week made mom drive out of her way. "Had to go to fucking Clearview to get the pool chemicals."

PARTING SHOT

I've spent much of the past few days trying to play mediator in the truce talks between Kelly and Paul, who are currently going through a separation. I should get a freakin' medal. Anyway, Kelly and I went to dinner Tuesday night. Kelly is turning into a parking spot.

Kelly: Can I fit in here?

Me: That's what I said.