The Tina cursing corner

My Mom is cleaning the house and listening to her iPod. "Well I just heard the news today. It seems my life is going to change. ... Then tears of joy stream down my face, Jesus fucking Christ." She must have seen something she didn't like because the next line is "with arms wide open."

Mom recalled her bachelorette party in 1989. "Bought champagne all fucking night. Bottle after bottle."

Mom was upset I didn't greet her properly upon her arrival. "No hi. No fuck you. Nothing."

Mom didnt like the hung jury on jodie's sentencing. "It's bullshit. Only in fucking Arizona. They got the fucking strangest rules. They got to get a whole fucking new jury for sentencing. It's so bullshit. Only in Arizona. Don't do anything wrong in fucking Arizona. Jesus Christ."

Mom had an opinion on a certain aspect of the case. "Let's be honest. The only one who enjoys anal is the man.
Me: some women do.
Mom: the fuck they do. Can't get a fucking orgasm."

As for the defendant. "I hate that bitch. She just loves the fucking attention. She has twitter. Says buy my fucking t-shirt. She loves looking at the picture of the bloody corpse. She's worse than Casey."

I have a stuffed North Carolina Tar Heel doll.
Mom: what's his name?
Me: Tyler.
Mom: you treat Tyler like shit. Got him laying on his fucking back looking at the ceiling.