VA-CA-TI-ON

When I was a kid, we took a vacation every summer to Panama City Beach. Our last one was in 1999. Well, folks, on Wednesday Tina and I are heading back there for three days on the 10-year anniversary.

At work Tuesday night, I made a mix CD for our road trip. Take a look at the playlist:

Light On - David Cook (Tina loves Cook, and this will get her into the mix.)
Dirty Diana - Michael Jackson (As a rule for the next year, all mixes must have an MJ song.)
Tinderbox - Elton John (Be quiet.)
Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane (That was Tina's first concert.)
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Rock N Roll Fantasy - Bad Company
(Random insertion of A Few Good Men movie quote)
Drive My Car - Beatles (off Tina's favorite album, Rubber Soul)
Brown Sugar - Rolling Stones (as selected by Brick)
Take it Easy - Eagles (as selected by Derry)
Little of Your Time - Maroon 5 (a new age energy being brought in)
Catch a Wave - Beach Boys (We are going to the beach.)
Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry (Tina loves him, too. I'm keeping her interest.)
Homeward Bound - Simon & Garfunkel (probably should have this for the return mix)
Too Little Too Late - Barenaked Ladies
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Double Vision - Foreigner (Who doesn't like Foreigner?)
Big Casino - Jimmy Eat World (to remind me of home)
(Random insertion of Forrest Gump quote)
I Saw Her Standing There - Beatles
Old Time Rock and Roll - Bob Seger
Anyway You Want It - Journey
American Girl - Tom Petty
(Random insertion of As Good As it Gets quote)
Pages - 3 Doors Down
Ramble On - Led Zeppelin (How else would you end it?)

My goal on this trip is simply to recreate my childhood.
-- We're staying at the same hotel.
-- We're going to play putt-putt, and I will win.
-- We're spending a day at the water park and a night at the amusement park.
-- I'm going to play in the sand on the beach.
-- We're going to eat at Captain Anderson's.
-- We're going to eat at Waffle House every morning.
-- I'm going to stare at girls.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is watching a soap opera. "Here's another cuckoo. Thinks her fucking stuffed animal is real."

Mom is wearing new pants. "They call these athletic shorts. Bullshit. They fucking sticking to me."

It is so hot in the house I got to work early Tuesday. Mom can't stand it. "Oh, fuck me!"

I put on the Family Feud in the living room. "Seriously? You watch all this shit at night, and now you're gonna add fucking game shows?"
Tuesday's highlights: Jeopardy!: I got 18 questions right in the first round.
Millionaire: A dude missed the $300 question.
Family Feud: The final score was 610-49. That's a blowout.

RANDOM THOUGHT OF EVERY SO OFTEN

With everybody shuffling around in our department and changing hours, I got to thinking: What would be my ideal work hours? Answer: 11:45 a.m. to 6:45 p.m. Don't have to wake up too early. Would be able to make most night events. Yes, I know that's only seven hours.

PARTING SHOT
Lopes answers the phone and tells Trey the phone is for him.

Lopes: Some short, annoying guy on line 81. Goes by the name Gamby.
Jelly: Oh. I thought you meant Pierce.