OH, THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING

The month of July is bringing major changes to my work situation. For selfish reasons, I wouldn't describe any of them as positive or exciting.

Within a few weeks, we will be losing three people from our sports desk. These are three of my favorite people. When I arrived at work Thursday and realized this was happening (like Jack Black punting Baxter) for real, it was all I could do not to break down and cry. I hid my emotions.

Jelly: Doesn't this make you sad?
Me: You don't even know.

Lopes is departing the company to teach at Holy Cross. Jelly is moving across the room to work on the online desk. Marcus is working days as the assistant sports editor, and Brick becomes our man in charge at night.

Congratulations to all these fine folks. I'm happy for them. But I'm sad for me.

Without Jelly and Marcus, what's going to happen to Parting Shots? Without Lopes, who's going to let me talk to them about wrestling for an hour every week? I tell ya, this blows. Without Jelly, who am I going to get blog ideas from, gossip with and ask incessant questions to about how to do my job? Without Marcus, who will be my mentor?

Besides the emotions, this also means that work will be more difficult. That's three fewer people on the schedule. You do the math. Plus, those three are the next three youngest people on the desk. I'm now working with people all in their 40s and older.

My heart hearts. I'm handcuffing Jelly to her desk on her last shift Saturday. That should work.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is watching the Guiding Light. "This girl here is fucking nine months pregnant in real life, and they been trying to hide it. Now, they write in that she's pregnant. Well, she fucked Frank three months ago. She didn't know she was pregnant?"

One from a while back I never used. "You can't depend on your friends. The only person you can depend on is me. And when I'm gone, you're shit out of luck. Because you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached."

RANDOM THOUGHT OF EVERY SO OFTEN

Facebook should have a quiz (and maybe they already do, and I missed it) to see which Beatles album you are. I hope mine is Help!

PARTING SHOTS
D is looking at the budget Thursday.

D: What is BBM?
Marcus: Bad Bowel Movement.

Liam and I are watching the Cubs-Brewers game.

Me (sarcastically): If Milton Bradley gets going, watch out, cuz it's over.
Liam: Game over. Get it?

Liam and I are talking about burning in the sun on vacation in Florida.

Jelly: Liam, your Irish.
Liam: No shame in that.
Me: No seamus. Ha.
Derry: No seamus in your gamus.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My favorite five bar games.

5) Pool.
Better played drunk.

4) Trivia.
Sip some suds. Gain knowledge.

3) Darts.
I can't hit the bull's eye.

2) Shuffleboard.
Can get pretty intense.

1) Ping pong.
I like to put spin on the ball.