I WROTE A COLUMN ONCE ON KEN JENNINGS.

I love poker. I love sports. I love sitcoms. But what I really love is game shows. I could watch game shows all day long and ignore everything else. I wish I had the game show network at home. Show after show after show. That would be so sweet.

Until recently, I had forgotten my love for game shows. Then, I discovered one of the great hours in TV. Weekdays on Fox at noon, it's Jeopardy! followed by Millionaire. Using the DVR, I watched both shows in 31 minutes today.

A little later, there's Family Feud on ABC. Those are my three favorite all-time game shows. Now, that's how to spend an afternoon.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My dad took one of my mom's shoes to the shop to get the heel fixed. She's not satisfied. "They didn't do a fucking thing. Ain't the same service over there since Lewis left. Where's fucking Lewis?"

I tell mom that it is hot outside. "No shit."

I want to show mom something I taped in my room. Me: Can you step into my office?
Mom: Are you fucking kidding me?

The fans we have running are losing the battle to the heat. "It's fucking 90 degrees in here."

ON THIS DATE IN GENE POOL HISTORY

2008: The Tina Cursing Corner made its historic debut. The first ever entry: "I saw a tittie at Wal-Mart today. A black woman's tittie was just hanging out there. I mean the whole fucking thing. I don't know if she knew. Maybe she did. She was sitting on a cart."

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that Obama may or may not have taken a peak at a chick's behind? Did you know that there is absolutely nothing going on in the world of sports? Did you know that Tony Romo kicked Jessica Simpson to the curb? Did you know that Jeff Goldblum is alive and well?

I DIDN'T KNOW

I'll tell you something I didn't know. I didn't know that the Scarlet Letter was a letter from the alphabet. I thought that book was about an actual letter written by someone named Scarlet, and the plot revolved around what she wrote in the letter. Who knew it was the Letter "A"?

Luckily, Kelly explained the whole thing to me. Think about it, though. The Scarlet Letter 2. A character reads a letter from Scarlet, and the rest of the novel clears up all the questions the reader has from the letter.

PARTING SHOT
We're watching the Home Run Derby. They need to break a tie in the first round. The announcers search for what to call the tiebreaker.

Joe Morgan: Yeah. I like bat-off.
Lopes: Better than a jack-off.