LET'S HAVE A TOURNAMENT SOON.

Back in the legendary summer of 2003, we played a lot of wiffle ball at night in the Peace Quad. That is until Officer Vi (?) made us stop by threatening to arrest Nick and the such.

We tried to explain to Officer Vi that a wiffle ball can't do any damage no matter how hard you hit. But she didn't buy it.

Vi: Anything can break a window if it's hit hard enough.
Nick: Not a pillow. That can't break it.
Vi: Ya'll gonna have to play somewhere else. Like in the park.
Nick: But we'll get raped.
Vi: Look. I've had enough of your attitude. Take your waffle ball someplace else or I'll arrest you. And what's with all the beer? You can't have that here.

It's been waffle ball ever since. Lopes and I (joined by Derry and JRap on Friday) have played for thirty minutes each of the past two nights at Peter Finney Field by the T-P parking lot. On Saturday night, we designated points to all the spots the ball could land in after being hit.

We then went after it for three innings, with me winning by the ridiculous score of 82-31. Lopes hit into some bad luck, as his balls kept landing on the sidewalk, the only area earning zero points.

There's one area that gets 50 points, and the rest is 15 and below. Home plate is a tree.

We're hoping to successfully expand our league like the NFL in 2002 and not like the Arena League or WNBA.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is upset because the punk kids of the neighborhood left a stain on our driveway with their fireworks. "Had to get out there and fucking pressure wash it this morning."

I tell mom that my cousin got married a few weeks ago. "We weren't invited? That's such bullshit."

Mom and I browse around Best Buy. "Fucking Weeds is down to $14.99." (I spent my time at the store writing down movies to add to my Netflix.)

We drive by the expensive houses on Citrus. Mom is captivated by one house in particular with black gates. "Wow. Look at that motherfucker."

MOVIE WEEK IN REVIEW

Bounce. 2000. How did Ben Affleck's career not take off after this? Stop laughing. I'm serious.

Quantum of Solace. 2008. I watched it twice to make sure I wasn't missing something. Nope, I was right the first time. It sucked.

12 Rounds. 2009. Better than expected. Liked the scenes shot on Canal Street. Too similar to Die Hard 3.

ON THIS DATE IN GENE POOL HISTORY

2008: While admitting the DVR is far superior, I gave five reasons that the VCR is better.

PARTING SHOTS
Mike tells me he was on the phone earlier with a writer, and the conversation went too long.

Mike: I tried to get him off.
Me: That's what Ted said.

Lopes and I watched the ending of the Louisiana House vs. the Louisiana Senate basketball game Sunday afternoon on CST. Hey, it was unintentionally funny. The House won 71-60.

CST announcer: The House won, but the Senate has gained a lot of people's respect. (Uh.)

THE DAILY TOP LIST
Lopes, playing some sort of magic trick, asked me what my favorite color is Sunday. I'll expand on that answer with possibly the lamest top five ever.

5) Black.
Saints. Back in.

4) Purple.
LSU. Barney.

3) Orange.
Dolphins. Halloween.

2) Blue.
Blue is for boy. Cubs.

1) Red.
Rummel. Hulkamania. Communism.