CALLING CARD
A closer look at the insane world that is people who call the sports department. These are all recent calls.

1. Brick was in the middle of answering a caller's question when the caller hung up. He called back a few minutes later. Caller (to Brick): Sorry about that. (With angry tone.) I had to take care of my mom." .... Um. Any recent stories about a son murdering mother?

2. Brick took a call from a curious baseball fan.
Fan: Why do they call them the Astros?
Brick: The space program is in Houston.
Fan: But why is the name the Astros?
Brick: Because of the astronauts.
Fan: Oh.

... What a moron. And we later suggested they were named after the Jetson's dog.

3. Longtime caller and Braves fan Frank has been calling every day this season. A few weeks ago, Liam informed him that the Braves had won that day.

Frank: Who pitched so well?
Liam: Kawakami.
Frank: Bout time that Jap started doing something.

... Frank be a racist, yo.

4. I received a call Sunday from someone looking for prep baseball scores.

Me: We don't have any yet, sir.
Caller: Why thank you. Keep up the good work. Ya'll do a great job.

... That's the first time I believe a caller has ever given a compliment.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom fixed some chicken breasts and wings today. We sit down to eat. "I forgot to buy my fucking barbecue sauce."

Mom still is miffed by the workings of the new air condition system. "Fucking 79 degrees in here."

Mom is in love with T.O. "He's so hot."
Me: But he's the biggest douche in the world.
Mom: Who gives a shit?

I'm watching a program about the history of patriotism in wrestling. Mom passes by. "You watch too much of this bullshit."

MOVIE WEEK IN REVIEW

Iron Man. 2008. So overrated. I called the heel turn within the first five minutes of the movie.

Bruno. 2009. Equal parts disturbing and funny.

I Love You, Beth Cooper. 2009. Awful, awful movie. But the Cheerleader was practically naked, so that was something.

Man on Fire. 2004. Excellent film. Loved Denzel. Knew the dad was part of the kidnapping.

The Bucket List. 2007. Got bad reviews, but the final 15 minutes are really good. Jack made me cry.

Valley Girl. 1983. Bitchin' to the max. Four sets of boobs.

RANDOM THOUGHT OF EVERY SO OFTEN

Why can't they just come out with it and give the exact number of stats? I hate reading that something is nearly 100 or whatever amount or that something is just more than an amount. What's wrong with the actual number?

Today, I saw more than a dozen blah blah blah. Why not just tell me 13 or 14?

SPORTS MANIA

I had a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I watched the Cubs-Reds game on the TV in the dining room while also watching the U.S.-Mexico Gold Cup final match on the TV in the living room. Also, I watched a good chunk of the Astros-Mets and Cardinals-Phillies.

Everything went perfect, except for that soccer match. We'll just ignore that one.

PARTING SHOT
We see that Michael Phelps won another medal.

Liam: Smoked 'em again.