IT'S NOT BEST OF NINE? 

On Friday night, I went down to the New Orleans Arena for pivotal Game 6 between the Hornets and the Nuggets. It was wild, I tell you. Bon Jovi was at BuzzFest. Peja made multiple 3-pointers. I think we can take them in Game 7 in Denver. Oh, wait. 

At least five times Friday, I got asked the question: "What are you doing off today?" 

Me: Uh, Game 6 is tonight.  

When I bought my playoff tickets, I had to buy my seats for all four home playoff games. At that time, the Wasps still could have earned homecourt advantage. So, I have $100 in my Hornets account. I wonder if that collects interest. 

Instead of driving down to the Arena to stare at the building and think what might have been, I went to housa de Jenna and Joe (that's what I call it) for a little dinner party. 

In separate conversations, Little Joe and Bob inquired about the next pool party at my house. Must be popular. By the end of Friday, I had decided on a barbecue in late May. Probably should tell Tina about that soon. 

I tell Bob that we can't have the party right away because we still have a cover on the pool and Tina doesn't want it off yet. 

Bob: Why don't you just take the cover off when she goes to the store?

Me: Because it's a two-man job. 

(Joe, Bob and I look at each other and start laughing. We were all thinking, "That's what Ted said." It didn't need to be said.)

Speaking of that's what someone said, there was a girl there Friday (never met her before) who didn't understand the meaning of the phrase: "That's what she said." She had heard it plenty of times before but didn't know what it meant or why it was funny.

I tell some friends this in a text message. I got two immediate responses.

Paul: Stop talking to her right now because she's probably an alien. 

Lopes: Wooooooow. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER 

My mom pressure washed the windows. Some of the water got into the corner of the dining room. "Aw, fuck. Motherfuck. Motherfuck. ... Un-fucking-believable." 

Mom wants to show me an article in the paper but can't find it. "Where the fuck did I read it?" 

I'm watching the talking heads yap about Game 7 between the Celtics and Bulls. To the TV: "Oh. What the fuck do you know?" 

Other TV matters:

-- On Amber being in House's head: "She's trying to make him fuck-up?" 

-- On Tony being a bad guy on 24: "Fucking Tony turned out to be a bad motherfucker this year."

-- On Sharon being pregnant on the Young & the Restless: "Could belong to any of three people. She's been fucking around." 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top five reasons the Hornets won 13 fewer games this season. 

5) Injuries. 

Since this is sort of an excuse, I made it No. 5. When all five starters started together, the team was 19-5. Peja's back has to be a main factor in him sucking at the end of the season. Before he tweaked it, he was hot for a while. Chandler got hurt Jan. 19 and never healed. Paul had multiple injuries in the playoffs. West's back slowed him down. 

Future solution: Hmm, don't get hurt. 

4) Backward steps. 

Injuries aside, Tyson and D-West simply didn't play as well this season as they did last year. Chandler's numbers were down about three points and three rebounds per game before his injury. He was supposed to develop a post game. Clearly, that didn't happen. As for West, he had several big games, but his consistency vanished, his jump shot created enough bricks to rebuild New Orleans, he made too many turnovers and he yelled at the refs too much. 

Future solution: Trade Chandler for Shaq. Eventually, try to make West the third option to take the pressure off him. 

3) No bench. 

It's no secret our bench might as well have included me and Lopes. Posey was up and down. He hit plenty of big shots (more than you think) but also disappeared in the middle of the season. He sucked in the first two playoff games, then looked like the only one busting his ass after that. Wright sat at the end of the bench. There was no backup point guard or big man to rely on. And the bench sucking all started with not resigning Jannero Pargo, who was instant offense. 

Future solution: 1) Play Wright. 2) Draft a guard who can score. 3) Is it possible to sign back Pargo?

2) Lack of defense.

Last season, the defense in the third quarter was unreal. In many games, the score would be close, and then boom!, the Hornets would get three turnovers, get out on fast breaks and the game would be over. This year, I only saw glimpses of that. Somehow, the Wasps finished in the top five in scoring defense, but trust me, their defense sucked. How many times did they let a team light it up from 3-point range or get dunks whenever they wanted? 

Future solution: Get rid of Peja. Stay healthy. Get a defensive coach again on the staff. Learn how to rotate better. Injure the best player on the other team at the start of every game. 

1) Byron Scott.

Dude is a bad coach. I think we've all figured that out by now. He blew the series against the Spurs last season by double-teaming Duncan, even though a) Tyson had him for the most part and b) the Spurs kept making open 3-pointers off the double. Yet he didn't adjust. Also, the dude has no passion and has cast off so many players that they could form a solid lineup. 

Future solution: Fire his ass. Hire Avery Johnson.