V-ROOM. V-ROOM.

On several T-P delivery trucks, they have pictures of our bigger personalities with a slogan. For instance, one says: Peter Finney. Can't Beat Pete. (Oh yeah? You just watch me in 57 years.)

A couple of months ago, Brick and JRap were joking around and wondering what every one's T-P truck would say. I filed away the idea. That brings us to today. Here are the taglines for each personality in our department: (Remember, it says T-P on the truck with their picture.)

JRap: Got ilk?
Explainer: JRap wants called a prep writer and asked for the player's name who dropped a key pass. Writer: "You want to be that kid's name in the paper?" JRap: "Well, yeah. It was a big play." Writer: "OK. If you have that kind of ilk." It stuck.
Backup: Whatever. Whatever.

Brick: Master Manipulator.

Mike: And all that good stuff.

Phil: Steely Resolve.
Explainer: Our headline when Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl in February.

Derry: Absolutely.
Backup: He's a bum.

Sandy: I'm offended.

Marcus: Get excited.
Backup: Huge.

D: No, he didn't.
Backup: Damn.

Me: Hire me.

Jelly: This is stupid.
Backup: Leave me alone.

Bake: I'll take a slice.
Explainer: Me: Bake do you want to order food with us? Bake: I'll take a slice.

Lopes: Quiet please.
Backup: Anyone want some Popeye's?

Liam: Not touching that.

Max: Got one.

What if there was a Maroon truck?

Danny: Afternoon delight.
Gillie: Use your words.
Lisa: Fear the elbow.
Nick: So, uh, that happened.
Bob: Lets just get it wrong.
Chuck: Hoosier Joe Lobo.
Little Joe: I will kill you.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

We arrive at Major Video at 8:40 a.m. to stand in line for Fleetwood Mac tickets. We're the only ones in the parking lot. "What the fuck? It's Fleetwood Mac. What the fuck?" (The next person showed up at 8:50, and the line was 40 people deep by 10 a.m.)

On the way home, a guy driving a Lexus is trying to weave in and out of traffic going really fast on Jefferson Highway. "This guy is sitting on my fucking ass. Little prick. What is this guy's problem? Asshole."

It gets really black outside, drizzles for two minutes and stops. "All that shit for nothing. Thought it was going to pour. Now the fucking sun is out."

Mom shows me a rent listing in the Real Estate section. I read it.
Me: This sounds familiar.
Mom: Yeah. It's my childhood house.
Me: Right.
Mom: He's collecting $1,100 a month on the motherfucker.

We're watching the end of the fifth disc of Season 3 of Lost.
-- Mom: Who is Austen?
Me: Uh, Kate.
Mom: Oh, fuck.
-- On the first scene involving Jacob: "He's fucking invisible."

I'M CHANNELING MARIO ELIE
The Rockets face the Lakers in Game 7 Sunday afternoon. You're probably reading this after the game, but I'm posting this before the game. I don't think we have a chance, unless all of the following happens:

-- Artest makes four 3s.
-- Aaron Brooks, aka The Litmus Test, has a good game.
-- Scola, Battier or Landry has a big game.
-- The Lakers shoot under 40 percent from 3-point range.
-- Kobe doesn't score 40.
-- Von Wafer or Lowry provides a huge lift off the bench.

Don't forget the first-quarter rule.

SHE'S ALL THAT

Perhaps this is totally wrong, but I discovered something interesting when looking up girl names for today's top list. Rachel Alexandra was named such in 2006, right?

Well, during 2006, the government's list of popular names for 2005 was released. The 38th most popular girls name in 2005? Rachel. The 37th most popular? Alexandra. Perhaps the original owner looked at this list to name his horse. I'm just saying.

PARTING SHOTS
We're watching the Preakness coverage minutes before it starts.

Me (reading the names of the horses): Luv Gov. Terrible name. No chance of winning.
Jelly: Not a fan of Jindal?

D and I chat as he goes down the escalator leaving work.

D: Did I miss the next part of the Megan series?
Me: No.
D: Good. I don't want to miss the (pause) climax.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five names to give my future daughter.

5) Natalie Amber Guillot.
Cuz that's what she'd be. A nag.

4) Hannah Utopia Guillot.
And kisses.

3) Olivia Marie Guillot.
That's what the boys would say at the sight of her. And then at the sight of my gun.

2) Erica Karen Guillot.
She'd be so beautiful, your heart would stop.

1) Abigail Rachel Guillot.
She's ready for the pirate party.