MY SCRUBS FINALE RUNNING DIARY

7:01: And here we are for the final Scrubs episode. It's J.D.'s last day at Sacred Heart. Last night, Kelly asked me for my prediction on the finale. I said: "I will cry. I will laugh. I will probably complain about something." She meant how it will end. Ha. As for that, I'm going with everyone lives happily after. 

7:04: Eagle!!!!!!

7:08: Carla and Elliot decide to do an imitation of J.D. and Turk being all over each other. It doesn't work, as the boys like this. Turk: "Dude, it's finally happening." 

7:09: J.D. goes for his moment with Dr. Cox. He gives Cox a book of all his rants throughout their history. There is a ratings system and a glossary. Hilarious. I should be doing the same thing with Marcus' rants at me.  

7:10: J.D. opens his arm for a hug from Dr. Cox. No dice. We still have 50 minutes, though! 

7:11: Our final patient in the history of Scrubs thinks J.D. will hit her. J.D.: "I'm almost positive that won't happen." 

7:12: Second commercial. 

7:14: The Janitor shows J.D. the penny J.D. supposedly put in the door in the first episode. We're really tying it all together here folks. 

7:16: Turk (to J.D.): "I'm going to miss you. ... (They hug.) It's hot in my heart."

7:18: The patient has Huntington's disease. So does the hot chick on House. Huntington's getting a lot of attention. Hey, J.D., tell them that Dr. Eric Foreman has a trial they can go to for help. It's in New Jersey and fictitious. But whatever. 

7:20: Third commercial. Zach Braff is the voice of a dog. Uh. 

7:23: J.D. is so caught up in his last day that he forgets all the details about a patient, and the patient requests a new doctor. 

7:24: J.D. thinks people are waving goodbye to him, but they're really waving goodbye to Dr. Kelso, who left the hospital a year ago. This time, he's leaving for good, with his favorite chair from the coffee shop. 

7:27: J.D. goes for a special moment with Dr. Cox again. Dr. Cox gives him a new rant about barking up the wrong tree. Dr. Cox: "I know you want this to be a special day for the two of us. I get that. But you know that's not who I am. So, it's a not a special day to me. It's just a (pause) day." Oh, Dr. Cox. We know you care. Let it out. 

7:28: Fourth commercial. 

7:31: Carla tells J.D. that if he waits Dr. Cox out, he'll tell him how he feels. 

Carla: Tell me my husband loves me more than he loves you.

J.D.: It's about the same. 

Carla: I'll take it.

7:32: Turk and J.D. hug for the umpteenth time that day. 

7:33: The Janitor keeps trying to make J.D. admit he put the penny in the door. J.D. admits it. The Janitor says he knows. He saw it. 

J.D.: Then why did you ask me (back then)?

Janitor: It was a test of character. And you failed. You lost out on a friendship. 

7:35: Dr. Cox gives Sunny the same speech he gave J.D. on the first episode, except changing Tylenol to Ibuprofen. (I know this because I watched the first episode earlier. And also J.D. just said it.) 

7:36: J.D. has an inner monologue about the future. Will he stay with Elliot? Will his friendship with Turk stay strong? Will Dr. Cox miss him when he's gone? Yes. Yes. Yes. 

7:37: Patient's son gives J.D. a speech about not wanting to be tested for Huntington's because he wouldn't be able to unlearn the information if he found out he was dying. He says something about the impact of the future. J.D., with the future on his mind, thanks him. Ah, sentimental stuff. 

7:38: Fifth commercial. And we're down to under 20 minutes of Scrubs. 

7:41: We find out that Thursday is the landmark 100th episode of Grey's Anatomy. What better way to celebrate than with a wedding. I bet something goes wrong. 

7:42: J.D.'s final shift is over. The Janitor smiles and says goodbye. 

J.D.: What is your name?

Janitor: Glen Matthews. 

J.D.: Wow, that was easy. Why wouldn't you ever just tell me that?

Janitor: It's the first time you asked.

J.D.: No, I don't think so. 

Janitor: I'm pretty sure it is. Nobody wants to know a janitor's name. You probably already forgot mine. 

J.D. did. He then says goodbye, and as J.D. leaves, another doctor passes the Janitor and says: "Hey, Tony." 

7:44: Sunny says she's glad J.D. is gone because he wasn't anything special. Dr. Cox unleashes a speech: "John Dorian is the best doctor that ever came through this dump." I can't type the rest. I'm crying. J.D., listening to the whole thing, HUGS DR. COX, who doesn't stop him. J.D.: "You smell like a father figure." 

7:45: J.D. goes for a stroll down memory lane. He sees all sorts of people: his older brother, Tasty Coma Wife, Alex the drug addict, patients who died who I can't remember the name of, Laverne, Keith, Dr. Mickhead: "I didn't kill her." They show Hooch in a straight jacket. Hooch: Hooch is crazy. What, they couldn't get Brendan Fraser? 

7:48: Then, he sees his future as he walks out the door. Marrying Elliot. Having Christmas with the Turks and Coxs (Is it Coxes?). Having another kid. Hugging Perry again. Him and Turk's kids hooking it up. By the way, I cried through this whole segment. 

7:51: Creator Bill Lawrence is a janitor as J.D. leaves the hospital. 

7:52: Cue up the entrance theme as J.D. drives off. THE END.  

7:54: A preview for tonight's Lost is shown. Damn you, ABC! I'm still on Season 3. 

7:56: Outtakes. I was wrong about one thing heading into the finale. I didn't complain. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I don't say good morning right away to my mom. She passes by me. "And good fucking morning to you, too." 

I didn't put more water in the fridge after taking the last one. "Motherfuck. Did he really do that? Motherfuck."

Mom calls Oriental Triangle to ask them if they could not put salt on a dish. She hangs up the phone. "I can't understand a fucking word they say." 

We see an 18-wheeler almost tip over. "You got to watch what you're fucking doing when you turn those fucking things." 

We discuss Dawn Brown leaving WWL-TV. I say it was a bad move by the station. 

Me: She's attractive enough. It's just reading the weather. 

Mom: You have to know what you're fucking talking about. 

Mom is biting her fingernails. I reprimand her. "I fucked it up even worse, huh?" 

As I was going to bed early Wednesday morning, mom is watching the Dancing with the Stars results show. "This is fucking bullshit. Come on. Fucking bullshit. Fucking bullshit. Fucking bullshit, man." I ask mom why she was so upset Wednesday afternoon. "They fucking voted off Lil' Kim before the fucking rodeo rider. That's fucked." 

FOUR CORNERS

A closer look at The Gene Pool World.

-- On July 10th, I did a top 10 list on things I wanted to see in sports. With the Rockets winning their first-round series last week, four of those have now come true. That's amazing. 

No. 8: Favre gets hurt. Check. (Don't get me started on this latest comeback.) 

No. 7: Rockets win in the first round. Check.

No. 5: UNC wins 2009 title. Check.

No. 4: Dolphins return to glory and Dan's single-season passing record holds up. Check.  

-- Last week, I organized my CD collection. They were scattered all over the place in various rooms. It's categorized by genre and top lists within that genre. Pretty simple. 

-- Twice last week, I had some moments of reflections looking up at the stars in the middle of the night. It felt good to be alone with just my thoughts. I took a picture of the starts, but as it turns out, they don't show up in the shot. 

-- I started two new things with hand motions. One is a hand symbol in which I put my right index finger across my left thumb and wiggle my left index finger at someone. The other is as I'm high-fiving someone, I follow through by high-fiving my other hand. 

Yes, I know I'm cool. 

PARTING SHOTS

At work Monday.

Marcus (to JRap): You a fan of Rickey Henderson?

JRap: Uh.

Me: Yeah, he is. He's a fan of anything Henderson. Rickey, Kenny, Harry and the. 

I don't remember why Marcus said this. 

Marcus: Lopes, you over there spanking Gene? 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five Scrubs moments. 

5) Kelso resigns. Season 7. My Dumb Luck.

We find out that Dr. Kelso, who had two thumbs and didn't give a crap for 147 episodes, had a heart of gold all along. 

4) J.D. dumps Elliot. Season 3. My Self-Examination.

After spending three full seasons chasing Elliot, J.D. finally wins her over, only to realize he doesn't actually love her. Telling her at Carla and Turk's rehearsal dinner was a nice touch. 

3) J.D. meets the Janitor. Season 1. My First Day.

On his second day, J.D. gets accused of putting a penny in the door by the Janitor. 

Janitor: The door is broke.

J.D.: Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.

Janitor: Why a penny?

J.D.: I don't know. 

Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?

J.D.: No. I was just making small talk. 

Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down. 

Just for fun, here are my five favorite pranks by the Janitor on J.D after he did find a penny in the door.

e) He locked J.D. in a water tower all day.

d) He convinced him that a game called Jiggly Ball existed. This led to everyone at the hospital throwing tennis balls at J.D. 

c) He got him to rob an Asian couple's house. 

b) He got J.D. in trouble without being near him using cardboard cutouts of him. 

a) He pretended to drive him to Molly's house to have sex with her. Instead, the Janitor drove him into the middle of the desert and left him there. 

J.D.: What are you doing?

Janitor: It's been four years. How do you not get how this works? 

2) Carla's pregnant. Season 5. My Bright Idea. 

Turk and J.D. find out that Carla is pregnant before she does. They attempt to surprise her with the news, until they decide it's not the brightest idea. J.D. made fetuses out of balloons, and with a priest standing next to him, he yells: "Abort! Abort! Abort the fetuses!" 

1) Dr. Cox walks out. Season 5. My Lunch. 

Dr. Cox and J.D. fuck up and give a patients' bad organs to several other patients. Dr. Cox tells J.D. he can't beat himself up for the mistake but can't follow his own advice. He turns his back on the hospital in a emotional scene. This leads to an awesome episode with Dr. Cox drinking on his couch while the rest of the cast consoles him. His return is quite powerful.