COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.

It was a night of coincidences at work Saturday night. Before I get to those, however, I'd like to announce two notes about facebook.

1) I just noticed that four (count them, four) people have recently deleted me as a friend. It could be more; who knows? Although it does hurt a little, I'm actually more surprised that some of my other "friends" haven't erased me. I mean, I don't even remember who some of these people are.

2) I have six facebook friends named David. Just thought I'd let you know.

OK, where was I? Oh, yeah. Here are the three coincidences from Saturday's festivities.

1) During FOX's broadcast of the Cubs-Dodgers game, the trivia question was: Who are the two second basemen in history with four consecutive seasons of 25 or more home runs?

We didn't bother waiting for the answer. We looked it up on the Internets. One of the answers is Ryne Sandberg from 1989-92. (The other, figured out by me, is Alfonso Soriano.) The coincidence is that Derry wore his Sandberg jersey to work. It's like he knew.

2) Toward the end of the shift, Liam, Jelly and I had a discussion about bromances. I gave Liam, a newcomer to the term, the examples of Norm and Cliff and Andy and Red. Then later, we get handed proofs of the front page. The main picture is two LSU guys in a tight embrace after winning Saturday.

Liam: Speaking of bromances. ... Is that a cup in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

3) At the beginning of the shift, Liam and I are discussing the outlook for this summer's comedies. We agree that The Hangover could be really funny but that everything else looks like shit. Liam observes that the new Jack Black comedy has already been done before with "Caveman" from the early 1980s.

After I inform Liam that I've never heard of it, he explains the plot of the movie (the love triangle sounded like the premise from the early seasons of Grey's Anatomy) and pulls up some information on it. He tells me it was funny. I've heard of a lot of people in it. Interesting.

Much later in the shift, I'm doing something on my computer when my ears pick up sprinkles of a conversation on the other side of our department between Derry, Brick and JRap. They are discussing a comedy.

Me: Uh, what movie are ya'll talking about over there?
Derry: Caveman.
Me: No freakin' way. That is unbelievable.
Liam: We were talking about that earlier (when ya'll weren't here).
Derry: You should put that on your Netflix. It's funny.

What are the odds of us having two completely separate, random conversations about a not-often-mentioned 80s comedy in one night? Well, now that I put it like that, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often around here.

What's next? Two philosophical breakdowns of Armed and Dangerous?

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom comes into the living room exhausted from using her treadmill. "That incline'll fucking kill ya."

Mom is folding clothes. "Where's the other sock? Shit." Earlier, she was outside. "No. Dammit. You are such a stupid ass, Tina. Dammit."

Mom reads the story in the paper about the two cops arrested for beating the crap out of two kids with paintball guns. "You see those two cops got arrested? They think they so gun-ho once they get that fucking gun and badge. Think they can do anything. They might have fucked with the wrong people. Those kids' parents might be important. They (the cops) assholes."

Mom sees the Hulu commercial with Dennis Leary. "This guy's fucking hilarious."

PARTING SHOTS
Jelly arrived at work an hour before she thought she would Saturday.

Jelly (to Brick): That thing got over much earlier than expected.
Liam: That's what she said.

JRap can't quite figure out if May has 30 or 31 days. Brick asks me to sing JRap the "Month Song." I say it quickly.

JRap: What is it again? One more time, please.
Derry: May has 31 days. Now, shut the fuck up.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top five movies that remind me of a girl.

5) The Mummy. 1999.
I met my first girlfriend at the show when we saw this with mutual friends.

4) Planet of the Apes. 2001.
Took in this classic (yeah, right) on a first date. I always think of her when I see it mentioned because she was hot, and we made out. I also watched it with Regina one night and had the other girl in my head.

3) Drive Me Crazy. 1999.
That summer, I had a crush on this girl. She had a crush on me, too. It never worked out, however, and seeing this at the theatre was the last time I hung out with her.

2) Miracle. 2004.
a) On my only Valentine's date, I went to view this picture. There wasn't another date after it.

b) I was trying to set up a sort-of-date during college to watch this. Chuck overhears the conversation about Miracle and chimes in: "Miracle! I love that movie. Can I watch, too?" He later apologized. The date never happened. I think it's funny now.

1) Bridget Jones's Diary. 2001.
I'd rather not get into the details for either story.