THE DAILY TOP LIST: SNACK RUN EDITION

Normally, I'm off Wednesdays, but this week I have the weekend off for Christina's wedding Saturday and a pool party Sunday, Memorial Day style. We have a full staff without me on most Wednesdays, so with me there, my workload wasn't much.

During a moment of boredom, I was discussing with Liam about possibly running out for ice cream for everyone. We decided it would probably melt by the time I returned. The solution turned out to be a trip to Wendy's for Frostys.

I took everyone's order and collected $12. It was a total mind blow when the total at Wendy's registered $12. Not $11.87 or $12.04, but exactly $12. How cool is that?

Unfortunately, that was about the only thing to go right for me during this process. Here are the top five things that proved me to be a bonehead or that just went plain wrong.

5) Double spooning.

When I returned from Wendy's, I distributed spoons and Frostys to the seven people who ordered. The last Frosty I gave was to Brick, and then I handed him the last spoon:

Brick: I already got one.
Me: Oh. Then who is this one for?

A few moments later, I realized the last spoon was for me. Oops.

4) Over my head.

As I was starting to collect orders, Derry noticed and got excited about a snack.
Derry: Can I get (pause) in the mix?
Me: Sure.
Derry: Get it?

I didn't at first. Oops.

3) Spoon vs. straw.

After I handed Bake his Frosty, I extended a spoon in his direction.

Me: Here's your straw.
Bake: Great. But what I really need is a spoon. Straws don't work on Frostys.
Me: What did I say?
Bake: Straw.

Oops.

2) Noooooo!

At Wendy's, I ordered seven Frostys, two regular size and two large. They gave me a tray with five Frostys and then handed me the other two separately.

When I got out of my car back at the office, I put one of the extras on top of the Frosty in the middle of the tray and held the tray in my right hand. With my left hand, I grabbed the last Frosty and tried to balance it against the one I had just stacked.

Bad idea. Berry bad idea. I took two steps and lost control. The Frosty balancing in the middle went flying and made a splat on the concrete. Half of the contents spilled out. Oops.

Thankfully, Jelly, who had ordered one of the larges, poured some of hers into the spilled one for me. What a gal.

1) She should have slapped me.

After Liam and I decided that ice cream would probably melt, Jelly chimed in with a winner of an idea.

Jelly: How about Frostys?
Me: Sounds good. Where can you get those?
Jelly: Uh, Wendy's.
Me: Oh. What was I thinking?

Oops.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

Early Wednesday morning, my mom opens the door to retrieve the paper. "What's going on with this fucking weather? It's fucking May. Not a good sign."

I ask mom how it's going. "I'm so fucking tired."

I ask mom if she's enjoying the Chris Rose columns on his deleted e-mails. "I don't give a shit about him."

Concerning 24.
-- Thought on the finale: "What the fuck?"
-- On Jack's resilience: "He's dying, and he's still fucking got it in him."
-- On 24 coming out on DVD the day after the finale:
Mom: Was that in the Best Buy ad?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: I fucking missed it. ... That's the only one we kept on the DVR. We could have fucking kept CSI Miami, and I could watch all my fucking Miamis over the summer."

FOUR CORNERS
A closer look at The Gene Pool World.

-- Green Day's previous album "American Idiot" is my favorite record of all-time. I've been waiting for a new CD from them since. It was a long wait. I bought "21st Century Breakdown" last Friday and have listened to it twice.

The album is divided into three acts and is meant to tell the story of a couple coping through life in this country since 9/11. A daring concept. Here's my quick review:

Act I: Good. Title track and "Know Your Enemy" are excellent.
Act II: Lacking. Didn't do it for me.
Act III: Good. "21 Guns" really good. Solid ending.

-- Speaking of Green Day, I bought tickets to their August concert last Saturday when Tina and I stood in line for Fleetwood Mac tickets.

At about 9:30 a.m. with Tina running an errand and me in line by myself, I realized that the Ticketmaster at Major Video opened at 9 a.m., with the new tickets going on sale at 10 a.m. I decided to buy Green Day tickets. I order, and the worker gives me a price.

Worker: Just need to see your license.
Me: I don't have my wallet.

Tina had left me her credit card in case she didn't return by 10 a.m. Who knew you needed a license? (I think the crux of this post is that I'm an idiot.) She returned at 9:45, and I bought two tickets in the nosebleed section. Who wants to go with me?

-- Forty-seven cheers for the Big Easy landing its 10th Super Bowl. Marcus has already told me I'm working it. That's what he thinks. Can you buy tickets yet?

On facebook, I posted about taking bets on whether or not Benson will be alive for it in 2013. Paul calls me Wednesday afternoon.

Paul: What if he's on life support.
Me: That's a push.

As Doug said Tuesday afternoon: "He has a heart condition and a young wife. No chance."

-- The people who call our department with insane and stupid questions never ceases to amaze me. Observe these calls taken by co-workers last Friday:

Max: Sports.
Caller: Yes. Can you tell me why the Preakness isn't on?
Max: Yes I can. It comes on tomorrow.

Liam: Sports.
Caller: Yeah. Will the post office stay upon late today so we can mail our late tax returns?
Liam: Uh, I'm not sure, sir.

PARTING SHOT
For lack of anything better.

Me: Jelly, is the plural of Frosty with an s or an apostrophe s?
Jelly: The plural of something can't be apostrophe s.
Me: Yeah. But maybe Frosty owns the entity of the drink like Wendy's cuz it's Wendy's place.
Jelly: Uh, Frosty doesn't own anything.
Me: He owned that pipe.