DON'T PEE ON THE LEADER.

On Sunday afternoon, I watched the first half of the Nuggets-Mavericks game at home. At halftime, there was a segment with Chauncey Billups announcing his T-Mobile fave five leaders, a segment I enjoy during NBA halftimes on ABC. In the studio was Stu Scott, Magic Johnson and Jon Barry, aka J.B.

Chauncey's list read like this:

Martin Luther King Jr.
Magic Johnson
Bill Clinton
Barack Obama
John Elway

We come back to the studio after Billups finishes with his list.

Scott: That's some impressive company you're with there Magic.
Magic: Wow. Man. To put me in that list with a couple of former presidents (pause) and the current president. Man. And John Elway!
Scott: And Martin Luther King Jr.
Magic: Wow.

Wow is right, Magic. Of the four other people on that list, tell me Magic, which two are former presidents? There's Bill Clinton. That's one. And ... I can't hear you Earvin.

And then Stu Scott concluded Sunday's fave five segment like he does every Sunday. Scott: Sorry, J.B. I heard you were sixth on that list, but there just wasn't enough room for you.

I almost thought that was funny the first time I heard him say it in the middle of the season. Now, I want to stick my hand through the TV and punch him in his bad eye. Bad, Stu Scott. Bad.

This is not related (except that it involves athletes), but I thought I'd share it. As I was leaving work Sunday, I answered the phone. Put this one in the yup-these-are-our-readers file.

Me: Sports.
Caller: Yeah. They just said on the news two Saints were arrested. Who was it?
Me: Nobody you've heard of.
Caller: What they do?
Me: Basically, peed in public.
Caller: Well, who hasn't done that?
Me: Uh.
Caller: I mean if I had a nickel for every time I pissed on a tree, I'd be a multi-millionaire.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom was dusting for much of Monday. "I'm so fucking tired, I can't even sleep at night."

I tell mom some somber news I read. Her response: "I'll tell you one thing. You can't trust the weather in the fucking paper. Has storms and tornadoes all day. All I got was sprinkles."

On The Wrestler: "One dude got more dirtier than they planned. I thought he was fucking with Mickey. Then, they hugged at the end."

Mom also just watched Frost/Nixon. "I forgot how that whole thing ended. Fucking pardoned."

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that A-Rod is a no-good, rotten scoundrel? Did you know Hulk Hogan is going through a bitter divorce? Did you know that the most interesting man in the world drinks Dos Equis? Well, when he does drink beer.

PARTING SHOT
Marcus tells me the UNC Heels will be at the White House soon.

Me: How come I wasn't invited?
JRap: Because The White House already has a dog.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five toys when I was a kid.

5) *He-Man action figures.
I liked to make He-Man destroy Skeletor and his castle.

4) Lite-Brite.
According to Tina, I would sit there and make images for hours when I got home from preschool.

3) *TMNT action figures.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines. Raphael is cool but crude, Michelangelo is a party dude.

2) Basketball goal.
My first one was a Larry Bird goal. It's also the last goal I dunked on.

1) *Million Dollar Man wrestling doll.
My best move was the flying elbow off the top of the sofa.

* Tina gave it away against my will.