WHY DON'T WE ... LOOK IT UP  

 

Bob hosted a game night Wednesday for fun and to eat the rest of the hamburgers from his New Year's Eve party. I feel like Bob is trying to become my secondary feeder.    

       

Chuck and I had to pick up Josh from the Loyola Broadway campus first. This worried Chuck because Josh's phone is broken and he didn't know Chuck would be the one picking him up. It all worked out though when Josh saw my excited wave at him from the parking lot. 

The hamburgers didn't quite come out as good the second time around. The inside was mushy. So much so that I was able to stick my finger all the way through the burger with ease. Bob then made me wash my hands. 

We played Trivial Pursuit in three teams of two. I'm not a big fan of this game. I don't mind the questions being difficult because I use the game as a learning tool. Trivial Pursuit games, however, always drag on and on to the point where I'm begging somebody to win already. 

Bob and I did not fare well. We finished with two pie pieces. Chuck and Laura got five, and Josh and Dave, who is a priest living at my church's rectory, won. After the game had dragged on, of course. Winning question: What does a monophobe fear? We picked an easier one for them to answer on purpose to put an end to the contest. 

Chuck reads a question to Bob. As with most of our questions, this one was tough. Chuck thought that was funny. Jackass. 

I brought up wikipedia to look up answers that everyone didn't know. This was a useful tool. I also used wikipedia well playing Scattergories the other day. Now, I can't imagine playing an information board game without the Internet by my side. 

We all learned together that Sarah Bernhardt was a French actress who was called "the most famous actress in the history of the world" and that Harry Orwell was the lead character in a crime drama called Harry O. from 1974 to 76. 

When we didn't know something, I immediately typed it in and read the information to the group. Chuck: "Well, you're just a little DVD extra." 

The game was really hard in part because so many of the questions were of a European nature. They were about soccer teams, British television, etc. For instance, we had the question: "What is the name of the bear in 'Follow that Bear?' " Yeah, George was a character in an old German beer commercial. 

I was shocked to learn that St. Clare is the patron saint of TV. How could I not know this?

After game night, Chuck tells me on the way home that he helped Bob start his critic Web site of my blog. Bob never denied this fact, but he did fail to mention it. 

I then met Bert at the casino for some poker on his last night in town. I've decided to cut back on my gambling in 2009. At some point last year, I scaled it down to no more than once a week. Now, my goal is only twice a month. We both left winners.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is watching the People's Choice Awards. Two and 3/4 Men wins for best comedy. "It's about fucking time." Carrie Underwood wins an award. "She has to be the biggest fucking Idol. She wins country awards. She wins pop awards. She wins People's Choice awards. She beat out fucking Alicia Keys and Rihanna."

Mom is upset that the on-light doesn't come on anymore when you turn on our stereo. "My fucking green light stopped coming on. I don't understand the stupid motherfucker."

Mom asks me if I want her leftover gum. "I bought a big pack right before I got this shit." (She meant her dental work, which prevents her from being able to chew gum.) 

Mom shows me a picture in the paper of an 18-wheeler stuck under the Causeway. "Look at the company. It's fucking Averitt." (My dad works there.) "People don't know how to drive. When are they gonna learn you can't drive a fucking trailer under the Causeway?" 

Mom is miffed about something in the future Nip/Tuck storyline. "How they gonna find out who shot fucking Julia?"

Mom and are driving in the Lakeside Mall parking lot Thursday. She gets pissed at another driver. "You want your lane or mine too? Get off the fucking phone!"

Mom cuts right in front of a driver coming from the other way to turn into a side lot. I tell her that that was close. "What? He can't drive fast. It's a fucking parking lot." 

Mom gets out the car. "Look at fucking Macy's. The economy is in the shithole, and that building is fucking three stories."

A house a little bit down the street from ours is for sale. Mom takes an information sheet. "There ain't no way they are fucking getting that. $225,000! They got to be fucking kidding me." 

A River Parishes Disposal ad is on the radio, and I say the catchphrase before they do. Mom is shocked. "You knew the fucking slogan?"

Mom looks at the mail. "Quit sending me Marlboro shit. You know anyone who smokes Marlboro? How'd they get my name? I do not know." 

FOUR CORNERS

A closer look at The Gene Pool World

-- In the past 10 days, I've gotten up before 10 a.m. three times. This has really thrown off my schedule. Don't worry, though. I caught up Thursday night. 

-- I've been using the phrase, "Ah, you live and you learn" a lot lately. I was pleasantly surprised when Michael J. Fox used it in a Spin City episode I saw the other day.

-- I got a call from the Apple store Monday.

Apple worker: Can I speak to Mr. Gullot?

Me: You got 'em.

Apple worker: Can you get him for me?

Me: Yeah. This is him.

Apple worker (after a few seconds): Is he available?

Me: Speaking.

Apple worker: Oh. The part for your CD drive is here.

-- I've got some things to say about the world of sports.

1) I do not like the new ESPN.com. I understand change and all, but some stuff got worse. For instance, you can't click on the NBA scoreboard from the homepage anymore. Now, you have to click the NBA page first. There is no pull down menu on the homepage. Boo.

2) LeBron's crab dribble is a walk. It's three steps. What's worse, on the play before the crab dribble became famous, the King took four steps. He literally ran around a guy on his way to the basket. I think it's cute though that he is so adamant about the crab not being a walk. 

3) I liked the Milton Bradley trade for the Cubs if he stays healthy. Our defense won't be too hot in the outfield, but whatever. I did not like the Mark DeRosa trade. That boy good and clutch. The explanation for the trade didn't make any sense either. Me sad.

4) The Heels lost their first game. (We pause briefly for JRap to take a bow.) I couldn't handle watching my tape Sunday night. I was too depressed already from the Dolphins game. I did watch the game Wednesday afternoon. Got to give credit to Boston College.

5) Oklahoma lost the BCS title game in the first half. You can't run up the middle multiple times in a row from the goal line. One of those plays has to be a pass. They wasted seven points there. I thought it was hysterical that the announcers thought 2nd down was 3rd down and talked about the big fourth down coming up that was really third down. 

I thought the Sooners also mismanaged the clock at the end of the half. Even so, they still could have got a field goal. So, that's 1o points. How many did Florida win by? I thought Harvin should have been MVP.  

6) This week's picks: Panthers, Giants, Steelers and Ravens.

7) Lopes noticed this at Hooters on Wednesday. ESPN spelled D.J. Augustin's last name like it sounds. (That's an "e" on the end. Something blurred it, though.)

8) Sometimes commercials are prophetic. Peyton Manning did take a hike in San Diego. 

PARTING SHOT

Before game night, we're shooting the breeze. Tina's name is tossed about several times.

Josh (to me): "Is Tina your lady friend?"

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top five coolest license plate letters I could have. 

5) YAT

Represent.

4) LSU

Do they make license plates with these letters here?

3) RKO

The name of my favorite wrestling move.  

2) UNC

I'd have to have a Carolina blue car as well. 

1) GDG

Uh, my initials.