5)Wendy. Summer 1999.
She was my first girlfriend. We dated for the summer, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I knew the break-up would be tough because she seemed to have real feelings for me (see her fight with another girl in the Elmwood Fitness Center locker room.) But I was immature and didn't exactly do it the best way.
I called her one night. We chat for a few minutes. Then.
Me: I have to tell you something.
Wendy: What is it?
Me: Um, I don't know how else to tell you this, but, (singing) "Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?"
This resulted in her crying and me trying to talk her through it for the next 30 minutes.
Paul's favorite memory: Wendy biting people at our senior prom. She was with somebody else and walked around grabbing people's arms and digging in. Our friend Rick still had marks on his arm two weeks later. Freaky stuff.
4) Melody. September 2005.
A few weeks into my semester at LSU, David and I went out to Fred's in Tigerland on a Thursday night. We met up with two of his gal friends, who I kind of knew. They had a third friend with them. It was Melody.
We get to the bar, and I end up chatting alone with her. We have a couple drinks while she rambles about some guys in her past. Before you knew it, we were making out in the middle of the bar. For the rest of the night. David had to pull us apart to tell us we were leaving.
I escorted Melody out, and she kept stammering that I was so sweet. David and I then went back to "our" apartment. I later got her number from one of David's friends and called her. I left a message. She responded a few minutes later in a text message that I still have: Hey yeah I remember. Sorry cell is still not workin well. I'm in d-han (Destrehan) right now so I'll try to call ya when I get back to BR.
As you may have already guessed, I never talked to her again. We'll always have Fred's, though.
Paul's favorite memory: We're walking out of Winn-Dixie a few weeks later when I think I see her entering. I then tell Paul to hold up and follow her group into the store. One of the dude's notices me, however, and I run away back to the parking lot. I think it was her.
3) L.J. February 2004.
Nick and I meet some chick at Bruno's one Saturday night after he recognized her at a Loyola basketball game from his grammar school (I think). The girl brought her younger sister, who she was visiting. The four of us had a few drinks, shared some laughs and went home.
I didn't think anything of it. Then, the next day Nick tells me I should call Jenna (the younger sister) because she would like to hang out with me some more. I didn't really talk to her that much, but I said what the heck. We had a date. We clicked.
A month into it, it was going great. I don't think (and still don't) that the collectiveness of me liking a girl and she liking me has ever been so much. It was the only time I've felt that we had any sort of chance. But I was off on how she felt about me.
On a Tuesday, I was walking toward the Communications building when she came running up from behind me. She was out of breath and had a big smile on her face. L.J. (we called her Little Jenna): "We need to talk. Meet me in the cafeteria during lunch." Well, we all know what that means. Her only explanation was that she just wasn't feeling us. Fair enough.
Paul's favorite memory: L.J. had a bit of a lisp. Whenever she is brought up, we have this conversation.
Paul: Is that the one with the ...
Me: Yes.
2) Emily. December 2000.
During the fall of my junior year, we hung out about three times a week at Elmwood. She had swim practice there, and I played racquetball. We both did our homework at the same table, and I helped her with her math.
I didn't have a crush on her, but I enjoyed hanging out with her. I invite her over one Friday night, and we watch American Beauty. We didn't finish the movie. Not to get too personal, but that was the greatest makeout session I've ever had.
The next night we had dinner and then saw the Grinch with Minkus and Paul. Hell of a weekend. Then the weirdest thing happened the next week. On Tuesday at Elmwood, it was like we never met before. I was trying to talk to her, and she completely ignored me. I eventually caught on. Didn't really bother me. Whatever.
The only thing she said to me that day was that she couldn't go to Chapelle's Homecoming (she had asked me about a week before) because something came up. OK.
I never talked to her again. But I did see her once. On the day of the dance, I look out my window to see my next door neighbor get picked up by her date for the dance. There are four people huddled outside, a mere 20 feet from me. ONE OF THEM IS EMILY.
That bitch told me she couldn't go to the dance, then went anyway and was outside my window all dressed up. Did she think I wouldn't possibly see that? Couldn't she have stayed in the car so as to avoid being seen by me?
Paul's favorite memory: Him observing me during the Grinch movie rubbing my face and putting my head down throughout the movie. I don't remember this.
1) Bonnie. July 2001.
I was a high school intern at the T-P in the summer of 2001. I had a crush on the hottest girl in the group. We sat at the cool table during lunch. I know this is hard to believe, but trust me. It was me, two other dudes and two hotties.
In the last week of the session, I gave Bonnie a ride home and asked her out. She said she had a boyfriend. About three weeks later, however, I got an e-mail from her. To paraphrase: "Hey. I also had a crush on you. I'm single now. And you should take me out on a date. My No. is xxx-xxxx. Call me as soon as you get this. I'm going on vacation next week. Don't keep me waiting." That last sentence was verbatim.
Heck yeah, I called right away. We had a great date, featuring dinner and Planet of the Apes. The night ended most excellently. I even played Matchbox Twenty in the car during the date because I remembered from the internship that Rob and the gang was her favorite band. She went on vacation, and I was hopeful we'd pick things up when she returned.
You guessed it. There was no second date. She got back together with her old boyfriend. Lame.
Paul's favorite memory: When I asked Paul for his favorite memory of Bonnie, he said he didn't really have one and then repeated most of what I just wrote.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
Did you know that Gillie and Brian are getting married Saturday? Yes, yes they are. Though Brian isn't too sure about the details. Observe his facebook status: "Brian is back in New Orleans, I hear there's a big party on saturday." That's weird. I know. I know. He's making a joke. TBS.
I am so stoked about the wedding. I mean there are just going to be so many people in town for the extravaganza. Loyola reunion, baby. Plus, it's the first wedding I've been to where I know more than just the bridge, the groom and like four other guests. I'm going to take lots of pictures and have a fabulous time. Maybe even partake in some insane dance moves. Probably will get drunk, too. Oh yeah. Congratulations to the happy couple.
My theme for the week that I have already started signing and will be for the rest of the week is "There's going to be a party Saturday. A party Saturday. I know." It's based on that Eagles song. Me like the Eagles but not to cover Sunday.
I love weddings. The romance. The tears of love. The wedding song. Cake. And you know what they say about single chicks at weddings, right?
PARTING SHOT
Anne tells me something about one of my pages, which led to a new catchphrase around the office involving me and a mouse.
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