THE PASSWORD IS: RASSLIN'


Paul and I went to Raw at the New Orleans Arena on Monday night. It felt weird to walk up to the Arena and not enter a Hornets' Buzzfest. They should have had one anyway.


This was the 815th episode of Monday Night Raw. Pretty impressive when you think about it. It was only the second Raw to emanate from here, and the first one was in July. I guess I can't bitch about them never coming here anymore. It was also the 24th live wrestling show I've attended.


We saw these two guys as we were walking into the Arena and giggled at them. Then, as fate would have it, they sat in the two seats directly in front of us. At first, we thought it was the same shirt, but the guy on the right has a collar.

Still, this is pretty gay. I know Paul and I went to the show together wearing wrestling shirts and all. But at least they were different shirts, and they weren't both bright red. And we both didn't wear the same pants, either.


The show was solid. Saw two really good matches and some new moves. Only two wrestlers mentioned Bourbon Street, so that's down from the usual three mentions. We were surrounded by screaming little kids. I used to be one of those.


During a match, one guy hit another guy with a laptop square on the head. I turn to Paul: "That one (dramatic pause) connected."

Paul's favorite Raw wrestler Chris Jericho, left, and my favorite Randy Orton get together in the ring to have a collective bitch session about getting screwed out of the world title picture.

Women's action. Always a good time. Them girls athletic and pretty and stuff. Wrestling shows are not a great place to meet women. No kidding, huh? There are basically three types of women at wrestling shows: 1) Dragged there by a boyfriend. 2) Mothers. 3) Trailer trash.

Of course, it is one of my dreams to date a chick who likes wrestling. Mostly a pipe dream.

After the show, Paul and I headed over to the Miller resident to hang out. Bert then proceeded to dominate our game of Password. As you can see, he's wearing the look of a champion.

Now, there isn't a home game of the new Password yet, so I convinced everyone to try playing it with Taboo cards. It worked out OK, with a few bumps.

We played all three combinations of teammates. Bert and Jacob dominated Paul and me 33-20. Bert and I edged out Jacob and Paul 33-32. And Jacob and I fell one clue short of tying Bert and Paul at the buzzer, losing 30-29. There was a lot of drama in that final round. If only he could have said souvenir faster.

The most memorable exchange happened after a round of Paul and me playing. The password was soccer. I was giving the clues. On this particular word, there was only time for one clue before our time in the round ended. So, we had to be quick. Here's what we said:

Me: Pele.

Paul: sport.

I wasn't too mad, even though that was a bad answer. Time was running out, and he was under pressure. But after the round was over, I was like damn, that was an easy clue. You hear Pele, you think soccer.

Me: Paul, what sport does Pele play?

Paul: I don't know. I've heard that word before. I didn't know it was a person. I thought that was just some move they did.

And the show has reached a new low.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is watching a news item about crime. "Fucking New Orleans cops, man. They get that fucking badge, and they think they're it."

Mom is a bit aggravated in the afternoon. "Oh my back. I've been working on my fucking toes for two days."

Before I leave for work, mom is upset that the clutter is getting out of hand. "I take a break for two hours, and everything goes to shit."

DOLPHINS DROWN

Now, that I've come to grips with the Dolphins loss, I've decided to list the plays that cost us the game. Just for the record.

1) Not scoring from the 1-yard line on two plays and kicking a field goal after causing a turnover on the first possession.

2) Throwing deep to a double covered Ted Ginn on 3rd-and-8 in a 3-3 game a little before halftime. This resulted in Ed Reed returning a Jarrett Lee for a TD.

3) Cobbs' fumble early in the third quarter. Without that play, it might still be 13-3 when the Dolphins started their comeback.

4) The reverse to Ted Ginn in the fourth quarter with the score 20-9. This was the third drive in a row Miami was driving the ball down the Ravens throat. There was enough time to finish the drive, get a 2-point conversion, get another stop and kick the tying field goal.

I didn't like this play call, even though it worked several times during the season. But here's the thing: the Ravens defense was in the backfield really quickly Sunday, especially when there was any kind of play-action or activity in the backfield. So, duh, a defender was going to interrupt a reverse.

Why didn't they just keep running the same plays that were killing the Ravens?

PARTING SHOTS

I'm reading a third news item from msn.com to Jelly.

Jelly: Do you have any work to do or are you just going to read the Internet to me all night?

I'm reading the news in briefs from Tuesday's sports section. I read that a guy won some motorbike race in a certain time. (Why is this shit in the paper?)

Derry: That motorbiking SOB.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five questions for the spring TV season.

5) How long will it take Andy to realize Angela is doing Dwight in The Office?

Hopefully, soon. I'm starting to feel bad for him.

4) What kind of bad guy will Chuck's dad be?

You just know Chuck is going to flash on him when he arrives for the wedding.

3) Who will be the next American Idol?

I could give a shit really. But I do know all seven winners and runner-ups. I can't help but know these things.

2) Will Scrubs come to a satisfying conclusion?

Please, please don't let J.D. and Elliot end up together. I'm begging you.

1) Can 24 overcome the sluggishness at the end of Season 6?

I have faith they can mix it up and once again deliver gold. Redemption was a good start.