THE NOTEBOOK

A week into July, I started using a pad to write down all my ideas, notes and Tina curses. When I was done with the pad, I flipped it over and used the back pages. That pad and I have shared some good times over the past six months. It was my right-hand man. We went everywhere together. I couldn't have done this thing without it. 

But Wednesday I got to the bottom of the last page. So, I had to take it to the back and put it down Old Yeller style. I'm just kidding. I'm keeping this thing in a safe place. One day it will be part of the national treasury. 

Actually, this pad predates The Gene Pool. I first started using this bad boy to write down a quote of the day in the office (starting June 19), as I did during college in the fall of 2004. 

After about 10 days, I realized I could do more than writing the lines down on paper. Why not just post it on the Internet where they can live forever? The blog took off from there. 

Farewell, old friend. You were the first of your kind. Now, you certainly won't be the last, but you will remain in my memory forever. Tear. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom asks me where the bride and groom are getting dressed Saturday.

Me: The church?

Mom: False. Bullshit.

Mom and I are meeting Paul at the Palace to see Seven Pounds. She thinks I'm getting ready too slowly. "Are you fucking kidding me?" We also were stopping by the bank. I walk out the door without my bank book. "I haven't taught you a fucking thing. Jesus Christ."

During the drive, mom spots a state trooper on the side of the road. "Fucking state cop, and I don't have my seat belt on." 

Mom is then unhappy with a fellow driver. "I don't know how you got a license driving slow in the fucking left-hand lane." 

In the theatre, mom looks at the candy at the concession stand in the corridor. "I don't know how they sell this shit." On the way into the screen, mom is worried that it will be dark. Her eyes are going bad. It is dark. "Shit." 

During the movie, mom is miffed by a Rosario Dawson line. "Who the fuck would want to be on a plane for 13 hours?" 

On the way home, mom needs to be in the right lane to get home. But she's in the left lane, which is the turning lane.

Me: Where you going?

Mom: Home.

Me: Why you in the turning lane?

Mom: Oh, fuck.

MOVIE REVIEW: SEVEN POUNDS

Seven Pounds did not come anywhere near my Will Smith top 10 list. It wasn't his fault. His performance was good enough. The movie itself was pretty bad. 

There is supposed to be this big, surprise twist ending, where everything all of a sudden makes sense. As my ninth grade history teacher used to say, bovine sketology. Thirty minutes into the movie, Tina leaned over to me and said: What's he doing? Where's this thing going? 

I won't give it away, but I told her the correct answer. Paul figured it out about twenty minutes later. There was no crazy shocker because the movie gave it away. This could have easily been avoided and resulted in a shocker by deleting a scene and tweaking a few others.   

On the positive side, there was a solid twist that I didn't see coming. Not that main, "big" shocker, but it was nicely done. Plus, I almost cried during one of the sad scenes at the end. 

PARTING SHOT

Chuck and I went to Camellia Grill last Friday night. A girl sits down next to us, looks at the menu and turns to her friend. 

Girl: What's a frankfurter? 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five sports to play.

5) Wiffle ball.

I love running down fly balls.  

4) Soccer.

Probably a shocker at this spot.    

3) Flag football.

There's no better feeling than jumping a route and completing a Jarrett Lee.

2) Racquetball.

No teammates to worry about. Just you and the opponent. 

1) Basketball. 

Ever since my dad gave me a Larry Bird goal when I was 2.