TWO HUNDRED F'N DAYS, BITCHES

Welcome to an historic edition of The Gene Pool. Today is the 200th day of blogging in a row. Unless you are a member of the Blog Hating Five. Don't think I've forgotten about you assholes. I haven't. 

Seriously, though, I didn't think I would make it this far. Too many things can stop a streak like this: Internet malfunction, lack of desire, lack of making the time, your team laying an egg on Christmas Day in Orlando. Oh, wait. That last one was how Chris Paul's steal streak ended. 

The first blog in the streak was July 2. So much in the world has changed since the last day I didn't blog. Here are a few things that were true July 1 that are no longer accurate. 

-- George W. Bush made speeches as the president of the U.S. 

-- I liked Volkswagen. 

-- Philadelphia hadn't won a sports title in 15 years. 

-- I had never seen a Val Kilmer movie. 

-- Ryan Seacrest had only offered high-fives to people who could see his hand. 

-- I thought Tina only had a tendency to curse. 

Congratulations to me. Now, it's time for a big-time celebration. I hear there's a party near the Convention Center tonight. I think I'll go to that and toast myself with some alcohol. Maybe even the worm. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom explains the correct strategy to win American Idol. "Review the fucking episodes and pick the right fucking song. It's so simple, and they get it wrong. You have to pick the right fucking song." 

Mom starts choking. She runs to the bathroom. "Fucking thing. Get it out, Tina!" 

TV WEEK IN REVIEW

Best game show: My Name is Earl. I absolutely loved ESTRADA OR NADA. I couldn't stop laughing. It's just funny to say. Coincidentally, he is also the best guest star of the week. 

Best phrase replacement. How I Met Your Mother. Yeah, I think I'll go "read a magazine" after this entry. And I don't mean what Barney thought it meant. 

Best shocker: The Office. I always thought Dwight and Angela were meant for each other. How dare she go and have sex with her fiance. Whore. I thought it was a nice twist for neither to want her. Great moment when Dwight threw away his bobblehead. 

Best line: 24. Jack (to Tony): So help me, God. I will kill you, and you will stay dead this time. 

This week's rant: 24. Loved the first four hours. Of course, I said the same thing about Season 6, and that became the most criticized season of any show in the history of TV. So. 

Good twist with Tony. He's my favorite 24 character. The man drank out of a Cubs mug, for crying out loud. Mom kept saying the whole four hours: "He has the look of the devil in him." 

I'm playing guessing games with who the turncoats will be. Chuck and Tina think it is Ethan. I think it is the Secretary of State. We shall see. 

Jack's double rolling flip from 40 feet off two crates to splash Tony on the ground was awesome. Had to rewind and watch it three times. Also, I think my new code word with fellow fans will be DEEP SKY. 

PARTING SHOT

I was at the casino recently when a group of drunk 30-year-old chicks come near my table. 

The leader: Roll Tide! Roll Tide! Roll Tide!

(I stick my tongue out and make a face.)

The leader (to me): Don't stick your tongue out. You like Auburn?

Me: Uh, no.

Leader: You like LSU?

Me: Yes.

Leader: Oh, OK. Geaux Tigers! We like LSU.

Other girls (disgusted): No we don't. 

Leader: Well, I do. Roll Tide! Geaux Tigers!

THE DAILY TOP LIST

I'm about to attend Gillie and Brian's wedding. My favorite five things about weddings. 

5) Quoting Wedding Crashers. 

That was my first Asian! No, you lock it up. MEATLOAF, FUCK! Just the tip. Just for a second. Just to see how it feels. She just eye-fucked the shit out of me.

4) Cake. 

If I ever get married, the cake will be a huge king cake. 

3) Music. 

From the wedding song to the reception mix. I hear there's a killer playlist today. 

2) The ceremony. 

I promise not to cry. Well, I can't do that. I'll try not to cry.

1) Free food and alcohol. 

With a six-hour reception, there's no telling what will happen.