I watched both thrillling (third l on purpose for D) playoff games Saturday. The first at my house (picked the Cards) and the second (picked the Colts) at the Fox & Hound with Bert, Kelly, Paul and Allen. Boy, it felt good to watch big football games at night while also not being at work. I was able to relax, snack and reconfirm something: John Madden sucks.
It was a rainy day Saturday. Actually, it was more of a poury day in New Orleans. As in it kept pouring rain. After I parked my car at the F&H, I ran to the front door to avoid getting soaked. Unfortunately, the surface of the area outside the building is really slippery. As soon as I got out of the rain and thought I was safe, my feet came out from under me. I was airborne.
After landing on my ass, I looked around to make sure no one saw what just happened. I was safe. Until I tried to get to my feet, that is. I slipped and fell again. By the time I got to the door, my ass and surrounding areas hurt. What sucked worse is later that night when I noticed the falls put two holes in my jeans. Playoff casualty, I guess.
Paul ordered some type of nacho thing. He sent it back because the cheese didn't smell or taste right. Kelly: "How did it get to smell that bad?" Me: "It didn't shower for three days."
A couple weeks ago my favorite waitress Faren, who is on vacation this week, recommended the pizza. I gave it a try Saturday night, and it wasn't too bad. I've had better. I've had worse. I'll tell her that it was awesome the next time I see her, though.
Bert and Paul have a discussion on whether dinosaurs are animals and other bullshit. I come in at the end of it. Bert: "You see, to be a dinosaur, you have to be. ..." I interrupt: "Old."
After the Chargers won the coin toss, I mean the game, we decided to go back to Bert's house to play Scattergories. Because Clearview had flooded, we had to take an alternate route. Bert left before me and called to give me a suggestion to get to his house.
Bert: Go down Citrus to Hickory and get on Earhart. Then, get off on the Cleary exit. That should work. We just got on the Earhart."
Me: Uh, Bert. There is no Clearview exit going toward the city.
Bert (driving by where the exit would be): Oh, shit. You're right.
I'm real big on board games (see today's top list). I love playing them even if I'm not good at the one being played. I don't care. It's fun to hang out with friends, be a little competitive, have people get in fights and end up with new inside jokes. I can't resist a game night.
No board game creates more fights than Scattergories. When Bert suggested playing, I jumped on the bandwagon. Me: "Hell yeah we're playing. I haven't been in a good fight in some time."
The biggest fight (and it was a doozy) isn't really worth writing about because it was so petty and hard to explain. It lasted a solid 15 minutes. Most of the argument centered on how the darkest day of the year comes about. In the middle of it, we had this exchange:
Kelly: Well, we just added a second for 2009.
Bert: Actually, we skipped a second.
Kelly: Skip, add. What's the difference?
Me: No. Skip ad is what you click on the Internet when you want to go directly to a site.
Later, the category was sandwich. The letter that your answer has to start with was L. Paul put lettuce, and I put lemon. Both of these answers caused arguments as to whether or not we should be given credit. Enter google.
A search for lemon sandwich brought up multiple Web sites. One recipe described lemon sandwiches as one of the healthiest sandwiches in existence. Plus, lemon sandwich cookies seem to be well-known. Point for me.
A search for lettuce sandwiches yielded many results for sandwiches with the word lettuce in it. But none of those sandwiches start with the letter L. For instance, Bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich starts with a B. It's never a lettuce and something sandwich. It's always a something and lettuce sandwich.
Paul, however, was still given a point because it is possible to stick lettuce between two pieces of bread and eat it. That's a bunch of bullshit. I could have just put any food. Doesn't a Lucky Charms sandwich sound good right about now? How bout a lima bean sandwich? Yummy.
At least I got the fight I had been craving.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is on diet, and her teeth situation is limiting her possible foods. "I used to be down to chicken and fish. Now, I can't chew fucking chicken. Dentist said my fucking gums are shrinking."
Mom and I are discussing the death of a woman on Vets after she and her boyfriend had a fight in the car and he kicked her out. "And it happened on the second fucking day of the year."
Mom wants me to put the Christmas decorations away in the attic Sunday. She tells me to wake up a little before 11:30 Mass to do this. I tell her I'm going to 9:30 and will do it when I get back. "You ain't going to no fucking 9:30 Mass."
Mom is giving me a haircut. Mom: "Your hair on your neck creeps me out."
Me: "Ain't nothing I can do about it."
Mom: "The fuck you can't."
Mom tells me that our hygientist does all her hair stuff by herself. "I couldn't do all that. I can't put color in my hair. I'd get dye all over the fucking place."
Mom looks out the window at the rain. "What a lousy day. Motherfuck me."
Mom laughs at a soap opera scene because a girl that was 4-years-old a couple of months ago is now 16. "She's the same fucking age as Noah now." (Whoever that is.)
PARTING SHOT
I call Bob to discuss some things. We're talking about the hassles of moving.
Bob: My goal is to move in with Chuck and never move again.
THE DAILY TOP LIST
My favorite five board games.
5) Candy Land.
A favorite from childhood. I used to play with my cousin all the time.
4) Scrabble.
Tina and I like trying to use all the pieces. We always seem to end up with two or three left.
3) Master Mind.
Gets the math skills working in the brain.
2) Clue.
Professor Plum. In the Library. With the lead pipe. It always helps to cheat and look at the cards when nobody is paying attention.
1) Pictionary.
I suck at drawing which always causes hilarity to ensue when I play this game.
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