TWO FOR THE ROAD

Last Friday, two mainstays of the T-P had their final day of work. Charlie worked here for 46 years. He might have been the most well-liked guy on the third floor, and he worked on the second floor.

Charlie smiles for The Gene Pool. I'm kidding. He's really overwhelmed by all the love at his retirement speech. The designers (I think) made some thing with their pictures on it with the headline: Charlie's Angels. Warms the heart, I know. Charlie talked about his days in the army and how he never meant to stay here when he arrived.

There was less fanfare for Tommy, who was here for a good while. Somewhere in the mid-20s probably. The prep department got a little less energetic and corny last Friday.

When I first started here, I worked with Tommy a lot. He always had something smart-alecy to say, and I liked that. He helped me fit right in here. He always had pun jokes, knowledge and random questions usually best ignored. Tommy showed me how to type in a prep score on my first day.

When my assignment in Intro to Writing (fall 2002) was to write a feature story on someone you know, I knew Tommy would be my man. I interviewed him that night and was done the story by the end of the shift. I remember two other things. 1) I got an A. 2) Tommy said in the story: "I'm a jack of all trades and a master of none."

I'm not going to lie. I had to fight back the tears when he left the building Friday night.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My phone battery is about to go out, and the phone is making that beeping noise signaling a low battery. My mom is aggravated by the noise. It beeps. "Plug in the motherfucker!"

We got two Netflix dics in the mail recently. Lost season 1 for me; Six Feet Under season 4 for her. "How come Lost is four episodes and fucking Six Feet Under is only two?" ... Mom watched both discs. "I started watching Lost because I watched the two fucking Six Feet Unders so quick."

Mom is watching a Lost episode. I'm in the other room. She talks to a character. "Hey, asshole. ... "

Mom now thinks James Cromwell will turn into a bad guy, even on Six Feet Under. "It never fucking fails, does it?"

THE GENE POOL DIP (I MEAN TIP) OF THE WEEK

Previously, I told you how to score free appetizers at various Copeland establishments using the free Hornets program you get at the game. Recently, I realized how to cheat the system some more using that same program.

If the Hornets score 100 points, Popeye's gives away free chicken wraps (red beans and rice and a chicken strip folded into a tortilla) the next day with presentation of the coupon from the program.

But here's the skinny dip, folks. There is no date on the coupon. So even if the Hornets don't score 100 points when you go, you can still get a free half-meal (or 1/3 meal, depending on your appetite).

For instance, the Hornets scored 102 points Wednesday at the Nest. I watched the game from work. Yet there I was Thursday afternoon getting a free chicken wrap from the Popeye's around the corner from my house.

Worker: Is this all?
Me: Yup.
Worker: You sure?
Me: Yup.

And then I ran out of there like I stole something. I still have all the programs from the games I went to this season (they're in my car) and have cut out all the coupons. I'm ready.

Next time you go to a game pick up a bunch of copies of the program. The workers don't care. There's thousands and thousands of them. Then the day after the Wasps score 100, go around town and get a whole bunch of wraps. It'll be awesome. Or kind of sad. One of the two.

PARTING SHOTS
D doesn't believe the hype about some freshman.

D: Anybody ever see (name of kid)?
Brick: I got a picture of him.

We're watching the Hornets-T'Wolves game.

Gamby: Mo Pete's on fire.
Liam: Put him out.

Brick tells the office that I called off the Marcus-Jelly cursing bet.

Brick: Gene said it's old and tired. It's done.
Marcus: Just like The Gene Pool.

(That's not nice.)

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My favorite five Super Bowls. (Chronological order not on purpose.)

5) Giants 20, Bills 19. XXV.
I remember the Buffalo squad kneeling and holding hands on the sideline right before Wide Right. Poor kids.

4) Broncos 31, Packers 24. XXXII.
Great game. Plus, Brett Favre lost.

3) Rams 23, Titans 16. XXXIV.
I think the whole 1-yard shy thing has been a bit exaggerated. He wasn't that close.

2) Patriots 20, Rams 17. XXXVI.
And I never cheered for New England again.

1) Giants 17, Patriots 14. XLII.
Ah, the Great Helmet Escape Catch. '72 Dolphins, baby.