PRANKED!

OK. So, Sunday at work (while I was watching the NBA Finals at home), my co-workers got a little bored and decided to fuck with me.

And that was their second option. Lopes showed me the first option, and I've since blocked it out.

Lopes, Jelly (who wasn't really in on it until the last minute) and Marcus stood around my desk as I sat down. Lopes actually ran up the stairs after arriving at the same time as me to alert the troops.

The trio chatted me up and were nice to me. Which for some reason didn't strike me as odd. When my computer loaded, that picture was the full screen. They all cracked up. I guess I'm big in Tunisia and the gay community.

JRap came up with the caption. What he and others didn't realize is my background screen is a jinx. Somebody check the hospitals. Those guys might be dead.

From the talk in the department, everyone seemed to be really into this joke and enjoying it. Lopes says Liam was most into it. In case you don't know the origin of the pic, here's the T-P story. Just remember, people, payback is a bitch.

Phil (upon arriving later Monday): He liked it so much, he's keeping it, huh?

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My dad was in Panama City last week helping his friend Goose operate his Smoothie King store. I tell my mom. "Goose probably sells them for nine fucking dollars."

Mom notices the Frosty stain on my left shoe. "You didn't take out the stain? That's cuz you don't give a shit."

Mom looks around the kitchen after making lunch. "Shit. I have to clean the fucking stove."

Mom steps outside to get some rays in the pool. "Every time I go outside, the sun fucking goes down."

We watched Sunday's edition of Million Dollar Password. The play was awful until the end. "It starts getting good, and it fucking cuts off." (Something ran long earlier in the day, so our recording didn't get all of the show.)

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that C. Ray was quarantined in China? Did you know that Kobe won his fourth title and that it was his first without Shaq? Did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds? Did you know that Phil Jackson won his record 10th NBA title as a coach? Did you know that Letterman made jokes about Sarah Palin's daughter and she wasn't happy about it?

PARTING SHOTS: THE DEATH EDITION
A Japanese wrestler dies in the ring after a suplex.

Marcus: Now. THAT'S a finishing move.

I tell Sandy she has to cut some stuff out of the news in briefs, which means she must delete a story about a Mexican racecar driver dying.

Sandy: Looks like he'll bite the dust again.

I had one as well, but it's too awful to publish.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top five sporting venues I would like to go to that I haven't been to before.

5) Lambeau Field.
The frozen tundra calls. I ain't going if it's cold, though.

4) Madison Square Garden.
The world's most famous arena.

3) Landshark Stadium.
The Dolphins could use some more people in the seats.

2) Fenway Park.
And sit above the Green Monster.

1) Dean Smith Center.
If I wouldn't have been put on a waiting list at UNC, I might have already been there.