I LOVE FREE STUFF.

After a busy night at work (shorthanded with LSU baseball-Belmont-NBA Finals-Saints minicamp-random CP3 story?), I head downstairs to the cafeteria for a pick-me-up snack. While I'm talking to Little Joe, I decide on Grandma's mini-sandwich cremes.

Then, I click on a 12 oz. Dr. Pepper to wash them down as I write about my breakup with Megan (now running tomorrow.) As I scoop up the soft drink, I hear a rumbling from the machine. I move my hand out of the way, and another Dr. Pepper appears. Sweet.

This isn't the first time that machine has yielded an extra drink. It happens every so often, but it was the first time it's ever happened for me. I'll eat and drink the first one at home and save the free one for tomorrow. It shall be glorious.

Though the event did make me long for the days of five-cent Skittles.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom had some trouble adjusting the wires behind the TV early Saturday. "What the fuck's going on?"

In the real estate section, mom sees that the asking rental price on her childhood home has dropped to $1,000. "Had to come down on the price. Ha. Fucking $99 move-in special. Getting desperate."

PARTING SHOTS
We're throwing around headlines for LSU making it back to Omaha for the World Series. We can't come up with anything.

Derry: Oma-ha-ha-ha.

We discuss a story about a Gentilly guy raping an 8-month-old. He had some priors.

Me: What was the mother thinking leaving the baby alone with him?
Sandy: Yeah. She should be beaten and ass-raped somewhere by 100 monkeys.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
I've been drinking a lot of smoothies lately. My five favorite smoothies.

5) Strawberry-Kiwi Breeze.
Strawberry. Kiwi. Papaya.

4) Pineapple Pleasure.
Pineapple. Banana. Papaya.

3) Strabango.
Strawberry. Banana. Mango.

2) Pineapple Surf.
Pineapple. Strawberry. Kiwi.

1) Caribbean Way.
Strawberry. Banana. Papaya.