GOODBYE, OLD FRIEND

Earlier in the week, we were informed that the cafeteria was adopting new hours starting Monday. At first, this news was exciting because the hours are being extended from closing at 6:30 p.m. to closing at 9. Good, I thought. Sometimes, I like to eat dinner around 8.

The mood quickly changed, however, when the fine print revealed that the hot lunch line and the kitchen will shut down at 2 p.m. Are you kidding me? So, for the last seven hours of operation, you can get drinks, salads and pre-packaged sandwiches. La di friggin' da.

Heading into work Thursday, I knew it was my last chance to order my favorite Chez Picayune menu item: chicken fingers and fries. Or as several of us at work call it: a No. 1. For the past year or so, I've been getting the No. 1 every few weeks, and recently, the fries got even better.

One time I even placed the order by asking for a No. 1, but the cafeteria lady looked at me like I had asked her for help solving a trig problem. Even though there was a recent price hike on all three items, I got chicken fingers, fries and a 12 oz. Dr. Pepper for less than $5. Righteous.

Anyway, I savored every bite and had a satisfying sendoff. As did Max with his club sandwich. I feel bad for Brick, who is on vacation and didn't know it when he had his last meal at the Chez.

Of course, he can still have his favorites if he shows up more than two hours early for work. I certainly ain't doin' that.

With my farewell now in the books, the big question is: How will the new cafeteria hours affect our free popcorn that we take upstairs after 6:30? Stay tuned.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I'm in my room when my mom starts yelling in complaint of me. I don't think she was aware that I was awake. "Jesus fucking Christ. He's 26-years-old!"

Mom is upset about a Gatorade bottle being in my car with a little bit left in it. "When the sun gets real hot, the floor is going to get real hot, and then pretty soon, boom! You're going to have a big fucking mess in there."
Me: So, you're saying I should clean it out.
Mom: No. Leave the shit in there!

Mom watched the news last night on her new HDTV as she feel asleep. "That LSU team. Some of the players from last year aren't even fucking playing anymore."

As I'm getting ready to head out to work, mom walks in my room. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

PARTING SHOTS
JRap is trying to combine the NBA Finals and America's past pastime.

JRap: How would the Triangle offense work in baseball?
Phil: You stop at third.

Marcus and I do a pretend interview after Game 4 of the Finals.

Me (as reporter): Kobe, you missed your final three shots of overtime. How does this win feel?
Marcus (as Kobe): Makes me want to go back to Colorado.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My five favorite figures in LSU baseball history.

5) Brad Cresse.
This video sums up the 2000 College World Series for the Tigers. Good stuff, finished off with Cresse's game-winning hit in the championship against Stanford. Be sure to check out Ryan Theriot scoring the winning run!

4) Skip Bertman.
The man who put it all together.

3) The entire team the past two seasons.
The resurrection of the program has been lots of fun. I can't pick one from Mainieri, Dean, Mitchell, Coleman, Schimpf, Matt Clark, Hollander, etc.

2) Wally Pontiff.
31 forever.

1) Warren Morris.
Won the 1996 College World Series on his first homer of the season. I can't hear his name without a voice in my head going, "Now, Warren Morris ..." And to think, I went and played in the yard in the middle innings while LSU was losing. Hey, I was 12, and I came back inside in the eighth.