6:02: The first Tiger they mention in the opening is Jared Mitchell. Really? Not one of the pitchers. Not Schimpf. Not Dean. But the right fielder who hits seventh? Now, I like Mitchell a lot. He's patient and stuff. He shouldn't be the lead.
6:03: I announce this complaint to my co-workers. Jelly (sarcastically): People should just start consulting you before they do anything. Me: I agree. Well, for sports-related things, anyway.
6:14: Ranaudo Roboto (that's what Liam and I call the LSU starting pitcher) battles back from a 3-0 hole to get the second out on a groundout in the first.
6:15: The pitcher for Virginia comes up. Danny Hultzen. Don't worry. I jinxed him earlier by making him my background. He has no chance. He promptly grounds out to third to end the inning. Good start for Ranaudo Roboto.
6:24: Dean smacks a double to right. I think he likes Omaha.
6:26: Gibbs smacks/lofts a single to right to score Dean on a 1-2 pitch. Nice. TIGERS 1-0.
6:33: Ochinko strikes out to end the threat after a dink base hit by Mahtook. We'll take the lead, though they did let a shaken freshman off the hook a little bit there. I guess there's still plenty of time to rattle him around.
6:37: Schimpf completely misses a fly ball down the left-field line. Somehow, the ball is called foul, even though it was fair. Dude got screwed out of a triple. Uh, good call, ump.
6:38: Leadoff hitter gets a single anyway. Marcus: Ball don't lie.
6:46: Ranaudo Roboto threw one good pitch in the second inning. Fortunately, that pitch got the third strike for the third out. He gave up a single and a triple to the same hitter, allowed a walk and had two other hitters tattoo the ball at LSU fielders. One was a diving catch by Mahtook. Liam: That dude likes to bang his chin on the ground.
7:07: In the top of the third, LeMahieu, future Cub, makes a diving catch and nice throw to get Hultzen at first. But the groundout drove in a guy who led off the inning with a double. Tie score. 1-1.
7:10: Ranaudo Roboto walks his second batter of the third to put runners at first and third with two outs. He's not looking like an ace in this one.
7:11: Nola rises and snags a line drive at short to end the threat. Still 1-1. But that's like the fifth ball Virginia has smashed for an out. Time to get the bats going the second time through the order.
7:19: LeMahieu and Schimpf respond immediately with a single and a double to start the inning with runners at 2nd and 3rd.
7:21: Dean smacks one to right. Me: Bye-bye. ... It's then caught on the warning track. Marcus (to me): Thank you, Harry (Caray). Me: That wasn't as bad as Harry. It wasn't on the infield. LSU 2-1.
7:22: Gibbs comes through with another RBI single. LSU 3-1. Still third inning. I like how I called for the bats to get going, and then they did.
7:24: Mahtook's hit gives Hultzen's his seventh hit allowed today, tying his season-high. The jinx continues. LeBron, Pujols, Hultzen. Who's next?
7:26: The pizza is here. Dinner break.
7:33: Third inning is over. Tigers' first five hitters: 7-for-9 with a sac fly. Tigers' last four hitters: 0-for-6 with a walk and four strikeouts. (Let's see if ESPN shows us this. Nope.)
7:46: Ranaudo Roboto is taken out after 3.1 innings with the bases loaded and the Tigers leading 3-2. He never had it tonight. A dink hit and a bunt single didn't help matters in the fourth.
7:54: Rummel's Bertucinni comes in and gets two outs (the first an easy strikeout) to end the threat. So what if Schimpf had to make a diving catch down the left-field line that prevented a three-run double. RAIDER PRIDE!!! Notice that the batter who got robbed there was Hultzen. Ha. JINXED.
8:00: Hultzen out of the game. Virginia turns a double play. Or do they? Ump calls the first baseman's foot off the bag. I don't think it came off until after he caught the ball. Another good call, ump.
8:04: Virginia's second lefty of the game makes quick work of the fourth anyway. LSU 3-2 as we go to the fifth.
8:10: 3-3. Homer by Virginia. That sucked.
8:14: Me: They need to get Bertucinni out of there. He got the first guy out and since then almost every person has hit it hard. One guy hit a three-run double that was caught on a dive.
Liam: I've been caught in a dive before.
8:16: Virginia takes a 4-3 lead with two outs on a dink hit just out of LeMahieu's reach. Yuck. Probably left Bertucinni in there a little too long.
8:22: Third-starter Austin Ross comes in a couple of batters late and gets out of the fifth with a strikeout.
8:30: Gibbs and Mahtook: 6-for-6. Two on, one out. Bottom fifth.
8:32: Ochinko, who had two strikeouts, lines a three-run homer. At the crack of the bat, I yelled: Get out! And it listened. LSU 6-4.
8:54: The sixth inning was like intermission at the theatre. Nothing happened.
9:00: Gibbs throws out a runner for the second out of the seventh. Homie don't play that, yo. On replay, he may have been safe.
9:01: Next hitter homers. Wow. LSU 6-5. That thrown-out runner might be the biggest play of the game.
9:09: Chad Jones, lefty specialist, walks a lefty and gets a righty to pop up to end the seventh. Lot of sense that makes. That's four pitchers through seven innings. This is turning into little league where everyone gets a chance to play.
9:25: Ace Coleman, who will start Monday, enters and rolls through the eighth. Max (who predicted this in like the fourth inning): You got to win today and worry about the next game when it comes.
9:32: Another questionable calls goes LSU's way in the eighth. This time a hit batsman that wasn't. If you're trying to bunt and the ball hits the bat and your hand that is on the middle of the bat, that shouldn't count as being hit by the pitch. I call for a rule change.
9:36: After a stupid hit-and-run causes the first out at third (a baseball no-no), LeMahieu drives in a run (8-5) with his third hit of the game. The Cubs should just call him up now. He better than Aaron Miles.
9:37: Schimpf two-run dinger. LSU 9-5. Ballgame. Thanks for making your first CWS appearance.
9:50: TIGERS WIN! TIGERS WIN! Matty Ice, the sixth pitcher for LSU, calmly gets through the ninth. LSU moves to 46-0 when leading after six innings. Virginia left 14 runners on base.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is upset with Cox for the first time in a while. She called the lady on the phone a bitch. "We fucked." She reflected on the past. "When I first moved here, I called Cox so many fucking times, they pissed me off. I bitched and bitched and bitched about fixing some puddy shit, and they never came out to help me."
Mom just found out that American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is gay. "I was like, 'What the fuck?' "
Me: You really didn't know that?
Mom: Had no fucking clue. This season was such a fucking waste.
PARTING SHOTS
JRap, who at first didn't want to talk to a writer, is now on the phone with him past the 10-minute mark.
Liam: He's going on teenage-girl time.
Lopes: OK. Now you hang up.
Liam: Let's hang up together.
Marcus can't believe no one knows if the Zephyrs won Thursday.
Liam: Come on. You the one coming off vacation. You're fresh.
Bake: Don't get fresh with Liam.
My favorite five Saints, inspired by a work discussion of St. Cletus. There are six of them, and one is the patron saint of failures.
5) St. Leo the Great.
Feast day is my birthday.
4) St. Nicholas.
Brought me lots of presents. Patron saint of prostitutes.
3) St. Paul.
I've read his work.
2) St. Christopher.
Went to grammar school there. Have a St. Christopher medal with a soccer ball on it.
1) St. Augustine.
Aired out his confessions long before Usher.
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