STILL ROOM ON THE BANDWAGON.

I went to the Fox & Hound to watch the noon games Sunday, specifically the Dolphins against the 49ers. I also paid heavy attention to the Jets-Bills and the Falcons-Bucs (you know, hoping for that Christmas miracle for the Saints. It didn't happen.)

My theory for the Dolphins held true again Sunday. It's not that they got good all of a sudden. Sure, they got better. But they didn't get good. What they do is this: They suck less than the other team.  

Here's some teams they've beaten: Oakland, Seattle, St. Louis, San Fran, Buffalo twice (remember the Bills are 2-8 in the past 10) and San Diego. They failed to cover the spread against the Raiders, the Seahawks, the Rams and the 49ers. 

Do I think they have a shot at the playoffs? Heck yeah. First, we will suck less than the Chiefs this week and then bring on Favre and the Jets for the division title. They control their own destiny, but if they lose one and finish 10-6, they more than likely will miss the playoffs again. 

Worst stat going for the Fish: They have only a +14 point differential despite a 9-5 record.

Best stat going for the Fish: They have a chance to become the first team in NFL history to not have more than one turnover in any game of a season. The Dolphins have 10 turnovers. The NFL record for a season is 14.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom was really happy with the results of the Vince Marinello trial. "They gave that fucking old fart life. He tried to tell them he made that list to help the police after he heard about the murder. What kind of shit is that?"

And she didn't stop there. This was all basically one rant Sunday. 

"You know he's been out on fucking bail? They let him say goodbye to his mother."

"The prosecutor said he was an arrogant motherfucker."

"You saw who represented him? The fucking public defender. He had a real lawyer. Must have run out of money. (Starts laughing.) He used the fucking public defender. Can you believe that?"

(Mom decides to switch gears for a second.)

"O.J. is the stupidest one. He fucking gets away with killing two fucking people, and then he goes and does that shit. His sentence wouldn't have been as bad if he hadn't already gotten away with murder. But what goes around, comes back around."

(She returns to Vince.)

"That motherfucker is 71-years-old. His wife was younger than me. I can't imagine laying next to him wearing that fucking wig. I can't believe he put his mother through that."

TV WEEK IN REVIEW

Best line. The Office. I knew this would become public sooner or later, but I liked it coming out right before the midseason break. Phyllis (to the group): "Angela is having sex with Dwight." Everyone: Dead silence.  

Best guest star. Chuck. Gary Cole. "Hey, Peter. What's happening?" OK. He didn't say that on the show. But he brought a lot to the episode as a con artist in over his head. 

This week's rant (of sorts): I, uh, cried three times this week while watching TV. Three times. Not full-on, go-through-sever-tissues crying. But there were tears to be wiped away.

1) Heroes. The scene with Hiro and his mother 16 years ago. Touching stuff.

2) House. Cuddy telling House she was going to adopt the abandoned baby. Heartwarming.

3) SNL. Amy announcing it was her last show after Weekend Update. I'll miss you.  

YOU SURE THESE PEOPLE ARE COACHING?

During games in the National Football League, the camera often scans over to the sideline to show the coach. Like 73 times a game. Many of the coaches, however, don't exactly look like coaches. They remind me of something else. Here are my favorites:

Mike Tomlin. Steelers. He looks like an injured star player (in his case, a linebacker) cheering on his teammates. He's about three weeks from returning, so he's in street clothes. But he's close enough to coming back to not be on crutches or anything. I'm telling you when Pittsburgh's defense gets Tomlin back, watch out. They'll be scary.

Tony Sparano. Dolphins. He looks like an excited parent. He cheers on every play because he's giddy to see his kids out there on the field. After a good play, he starts running around as if his kid made the winning goal. When the players screw up, he's like, "Aw, that's OK. Get 'em next time, son." 

Andy Reid. Eagles. He looks like a fat kid who just sat down in the restaurant booth. That's not the playbook, that's the menu. He looks at it so long because he's trying to decide what to order. Eh, go nuts, Andy. Get one of each. (We'll call Mike Holmgren his twin brother.)

Sean Payton. Saints. He looks like a 12-year-old playing Madden. He's got this little smirk on his face when he's about to call a play that says, 'He-he. Wait till you see what play is coming next. The computer will never see it coming. Football is so fun. Mom, can Drew sleep over tonight?" 

Wade Phillips. Cowboys. He looks like the grandpa who falls asleep before Thanksgiving dinner. Hey Wade, wake up. We're about to cut the turkey. Then, he wakes up for a few minutes to eat. Or as Dallas calls it, halftime. But after halftime, he finds the couch and falls back asleep.

Mike Singletary. 49ers. He looks like he's still playing defense, though now just from the sideline. He's always bent over with his hands on his knees for big plays. You can tell he's itching to get in there. I wouldn't go near him if I were quarterback Shaun Hill. Singletary might make a spin move and lay his ass out.

PARTING SHOTS

We're playing every body's favorite T-P game: JRap Saints trivia. I ask him a question with four answers. He gets three of them. (I pretended to be the host and made up theme music.)

JRap: So, what did I win?

Liam: Lopes, show 'em what he's won.

Sandy: Oh. (At first,) I thought you meant he won Lopes.

For this next one, we first need to go back in time to September 27. Remember this one? Sandy and Marcus are discussing their teamwork on the Harris. Derry chimes in. The "he" is Mike. Derry: "He made me his partner for everything last night." That faux pas has become a catchphrase around these parts. 

Fast forward to Saturday night. We're discussing Derry's chances in the T-P NFL desk pool.

Someone: That could really screw Derry.

Anne: Isn't that Mike's job?

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five Will Ferrell movies.

5) Blades of Glory. 2007.

Gets the nod over Talladega Nights, which most people are in love with. I thought it was overrated.

4) Semi-Pro. 2008.

I thought this was underrated. Of course, I'm a sucker for basketball movies.

3) Stranger Than Fiction. 2006.

I narrate my own life when I'm walking.

2) Old School. 2003.

I never partied with Frank the Tank. But I have partied with Little Joe. Close enough.

1) Anchorman. 2004.

Must watch soon. Must watch soon. Must watch soon.