BEE-FENSE. (CLAP. CLAP.) BEE-FENSE.

On Wednesday, I went to my third Hornets game of the season and the second using my 10-game package. I went to a meeting at work for 4 p.m. about the future of the department, and then Paul picked me up for the game. We stood outside for Buzzfest for about 10 minutes, but when the band took a break, we went inside.

I wore my Chandler jersey shirt to the Suns game. Normally, I will wear my CP3 jersey, but since Tyson has struggled and Jerry West questioned his energy level the other day, I decided to give a little support to Tyson. I think it worked. He played with more energy, got some offensive rebounds and played really good defense. Maybe next time I'll wear my MoPete jersey. Of course, I'd have to buy one first.


Here's a picture I took of the picture of Paul, two other Palace managers, and that other guy on the far right from Monday night. Could Paul be any more giddy to be three feet away from what's his face? Hint: He's keeping a copy of the 8-by-10 in his car to show to everyone.

In my season-long quest to eat something different at every game, I got the wings and fries from the Wow Cafe & Wingery. I might have to get that order again. I think it was eight wings and a side of fries for $9. Could be worse. Paul was buying all the food because he was paying me back for the ticket. Here's proof that he doesn't listen to anything anybody says to him.

Paul: You want a coke with that?
Me: Yeah. But here they use RC.
Paul: OK.
(Paul then orders. He turns back to me.)
Paul: They don't have Coke. Is RC OK?

Time to play every body's favorite game: Where's Marcus? Can you find him on press row? Good luck.

I took this picture during a timeout. While Byron Scott gives instructions to the troops, Mike James (who?) and Melvin Ely stand off to the side and chat, some 12 feet from the huddle. Ely is in a suit. Mike James (who?) has his hands in his pocket. I thought this pairing was funny because they are the two biggest dogs on the roster.

Here's what they were likely saying.

MJ: You know, they paying me $6 million to do nothing.
Ely: And I thought I needed a ski mask for making my $3 million.
MJ: Hmm. Combined, we're stealing $9 million.
Ely: Want to run off to Mexico together after the season?

Lopes comes to visit some time in the second quarter. He says: "You see that girl down there in the front row to the left behind the goal? She's wearing a blue shirt. Well, the girl next to her has a Chris Paul jersey on, and that's it?" I ask Lopes how he knows this. "I just do."

As Paul and I were leaving the Arena, a group of girls walked by the car. It was the girls from the front row. Lopes was right. The girl's CP3 jersey went as far down as a mini skirt. Whether or not she was wearing underwear we may never know. I should have rolled down the window and asked.

Halftime entertainment was four dudes jumping this ramp on their bikes. I took about 10 pictures, and this is the best one of one of the dudes in mid-air. I was just glad none of them slipped and went splat. I also wondered if the bike's tires were messing up the court. I was not too impressed with this halftime show. Can we do something better next time, guys? Where's that Chinese girl who flips bowls on top of her head? Now, that's entertainment.

I had told Lopes to stop by my section to give him a little entertainment. This guy I went to Loyola with named Brian has season tickets near me. Brian and I were arguing before the game about Chris Paul approaching the consecutive games with a steal record. After Wednesday, CP3 is six games from breaking Alvin Robertson's record. Except that Brian was convinced that Paul was chasing Oscar Robertson.

Brian: "I'm telling you, Gene. I read the paper every day. Chris is chasing Oscar Robertson."
Me: "Um, I put the information for the chart into the paper. It's Alvin."
Brian: "I promise you, Gene. It's Oscar Robertson."

So, when Lopes came by the section, I asked Brian (with all the people in his area listening) whose record Paul was chasing. He answered Oscar's. Lopes was flabbergasted and then basically embarrassed Brian in front of his section. Lopes was so animated about the fact that the record belongs to Alvin that I think Brian finally started to believe us.

Two other Hornets notes.

1) Wednesday was a big win. Before that, the Wasps were 0-3 at home on Wednesdays. It's on now.

2) On WWL, they were teasing to Hornets highlights for the 10 o'clock news Wednesday night. This was their lead-in: "The Hornets try to get back to their winning ways against division rival Phoenix." Division rival, eh? All I could do was laugh.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom got three teeth pulled at the dentist today. I ask her how it went. "My whole fucking mouth is numb."

Mom says that our dentist went to the Hornets game Wednesday. "He said, 'It's not a game, it's a fucking circus with all the stuff going on during timeouts.' "

Mom is watching the Grammy nomination show. "I don't know any of the fucking songs nominated. I'm so far out of the fucking loop."

I'm about to go start the car. I'm only wearing an under shirt. Mom watches me open the door and says: "I don't know if you know this, but it's fucking cold out there. Like freezing."

Mom is watching her tape of the Victoria Secret fashion show.
Me: Was this last night?
Mom (sarcastically): No. It was this morning.
Me: Sorry, I didn't know what night it was. It could have been from Tuesday.
Mom: Well, fuck.

GOOD DEED OF THE MONTH

On the way home from coming in 11th at the poker tournament Tuesday, I capped off the night by doing my good deed of the month. I'm stopped at the Causeway-Jefferson Highway light. I look over to my left to see a large man walking my way.

My first instinct was just to pull off because the guy might be crazy or dangerous. But when I looked at him closely, I could tell that he was desperate and needed help. I roll down my window.

Desperate walking man: My car broke down at Dot's Diner? Can you give me a lift home?
Me: Uh, where do you live?
DWM: At the edge of Harahan.
Me (quizzically): What street?
DWM: Oak.
Me: Why are you by yourself?
DWM: I stopped to get something to drink on my way home from work, and my car won't start. It's probably the starter.
Me: Get in.

I didn't exactly go out of my way because the DWM lived about a Tiger Woods drive away from my house. The DWM was a nice guy, and we chatted about his job (local pest control) and the never-ending construction at the corner where I picked him up.

I tell mom about my good deed when I get home. She was reading Wednesday's paper. "And you let him get in your car? I would never let a fucking stranger into my car."

PARTING SHOTS
D asks Brick that age-old question: Do you prefer Ginger or Mary Ann?

Brick: Mary Ann.
Me: Me too.
Brick: Or both.

Thirty seconds later, Marcus asks Brick how he feels about zoning our prep football coverage out to the different areas (or zones) of our readership.

Brick: I prefer to play man-to-man.

Then, I'm walking in the cafeteria, and Brick is waiting in line for his food. I see that the authors of the T-P cookbook will be doing an autograph signing Friday morning in the cafeteria.

Me: You coming to get your copy signed?
Brick: No. But I'll sign your copy for you if you want.
Me: Really? Can you sign the authors' names?
Brick: I'll sign it Julia Child if you want.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top six TV stations that I couldn't live without.

6) WGN.
Just for Cubs games. Used to be higher until they started airing fewer and fewer games.

5) NBC.
My Name is Earl. Chuck. Heroes. The Office. Saturday Night Live.

4) FOX.
BCS games for now. World Series. Most Saints games. 24. House. Family Guy.

3) CBS.
College basketball. Final Four. Many LSU games. NFL games. Worst Week. How I Met Your Mother.

2) USA.
Monday Night Raw. Psych.

1) ESPN.
World Series of Poker. And I think they show sports stuff too.