ONLY THE PENNINGTON TEAM WILL PASS

I couldn't be more excited about the Dolphins making the playoffs. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check because our last few playoff appearances haven't gone so well. (Baltimore 20-3, Oakland 27-0 and yes, Jacksonville 62-7). But there's no dominant team out there, so you just never know.

Boy oh boy I hope that scumbag Brett Favre doesn't return for another season. How awesome would it be if we beat the greatest quarterback of all-time in his last game? Did you see what the legendary Brett Favre did on the final play of his career? Yeah, he threw an illegal forward pass. Ha. Ha. Ha. We picked him off three times, and his stats at the end of the season were uglier than a one-night stand once the beer goggles are removed.

I still can't believed we turned the ship around so quickly. I mean we barely won the one game last year. Against who? Baltimore, our opponent Sunday. To win 11 games (albeit against a lighter schedule than Minkus' skin color) after last season is unbelievable. To only have 13 turnovers is even crazier.

It's also funny how perceptions can change. When the Fish were 2-4, I was like "We've got to get rid of Chad Pennington. He sucks. We need a real quarterback." Now, I'm starting to consider naming my first born Dan Pennington Guillot. He's so calm in the pocket, makes all the right reads and every one rallies around him.

For the past day and a half, I've been signing a little song in my head. I got it from White Men Can't Jump when Snipes and Harrelson first square off in a shooting contest. Snipes' boy is positive his man will win and starts signing "We goin Sizzler. We goin Sizzler." I've been signing, "We goin playoffs. We goin playoffs." Of course, Snipes lost that shooting contest. Maybe I should get more of a winning song up in my head.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom and I have planned to run some errands Tuesday afternoon. On the agenda is finally bringing my laptop to the Apple store. I tell mom I hope to get it back that day. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're looking at fucking days."

Mom asks me if my favorite tie still has a stain on it. I tell her I don't remember any stain, and the last time I wore it was in May 2007. "It's because you don't give a fuck. And I'm not your fucking maid!"

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that you can google your name under images and funny stuff will appear? More than likely your picture won't appear, but plenty of random shit will. For instance, naked French sculptures by Gene Guillot used to appear on google images under my name. For some reason, that doesn't appear anymore. Maybe he was outlawed or something. That sick freak.

Then, for a time, my mug shot used to come up. Now, it's other people with my name and still more people who just have the first name Gene. I can't explain the inner workings of google images, but I can have fun with it. So, I'm google imaging all of you people and posting the best result. Let's start with JRap, who apparently has made his rounds in the circles of third-graders.

PARTING SHOTS
We're discussing the Saints schedule next year.

Derry: I don't fear any team from the AFC East, except the Patriots. No offense, Gene.
Me: Excuse, me. Who won the division?
Jelly (to me): Have you sent a thank-you card to Tom Brady yet?

I tell JRap that Minkus called me earlier to tell me quote "I'm available tonight."

JRap: I'd hate to say this in front of JLE because she's a woman. But your entire group just needs to get laid.
Me: That's true.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
I'm going to Bob's house for a New Year's Eve party. Will it crack this NYE's Top 5.

5) 2001.
Regina and I fell asleep at about 10. We awoke briefly for midnight and went back to sleep. This was during the good times.

4) 2004.
I don't remember who all was there, but we went to the top of the Buddig dorm building and watched like three separate fireworks displays at midnight.

3) 2006.
Bert, Kelly, Paul and I went to the Molly Ringwald concert at Southport. Free champagne was given out at midnight. Good times.

2) 2007.
We formed a group called the Bourbon Street 13. Trying to keep a group that big together on Bourbon on New Year's Eve was quite the task.

1) 1989-1998.
Being a kid and fireworks are a great combination. I shot some in the front yard. There were a lot of kids in the neighborhood, so New Year's Eve always rocked. And one of the neighbor's across the street put on an incredible display at the stroke of midnight. Lasted a solid 10 minutes.