THE ZAMBRANO FAMILY TREE

My mom and I went to Louisiana Purchase for a little all-you-can-eat action Saturday afternoon. I was hoping to gather some TCC fodder, but the conversation was mostly pleasant and positive. Sorry. As I'm going to town on a chicken thigh, I feel a hand touch me on the back, right on the letters of Zambrano. It's his day to pitch, so naturally, I had my Big Z T-shirt on.
I turn to find two older Spanish ladies smiling at me.
The older one: "Are you Zambrano? We are Zambrano. That is our name."
Me: "Oh, no. This is just a jersey."
Older Spanish lady: "So, you are not Zambrano?"
Me: "No."
Younger older Spanish lady: "Oh, it's just for a player, huh?"
Me: "Yes. Sorry."
Older one: "That's OK. We thought we might be related." (They then left the restaurant.)

If only, Mrs. Zambrano. If only.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I was telling my mom how popular she was becoming at work. She said: "You need to find something else to do with your time. Have some fucking kids. Do homework with them." Add that to my to-do list.
Then, I was discussing one of my daily top lists. She said: "You are obsessed with that shit."

YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR FREE ICE CREAM

Last month, after our Yat Together at Ignatius on Magazine, we went to an ice cream shop called La Divina Gelateria. I had a 6 oz. cup of a flavor called Vanilla Wafers-n-Creme. Best ice cream I ever had. I pay the $4.75 bill with my debit card. The young lady at the register slides the card and hands it back to me. Then starts to ring up the next person.
Me: "Umm. Can I have a receipt, please?"
Ice cream goddess: "Oh, Sorry. No. I already started the next customer."
Me: "OK. As long as I don't get charged $14.75." (I said as a joke. No response. It didn't land.)

Well, the other day, I notice my bank account has $4.75 more than it should have. I look over my transactions, and apparently, I wasn't charged anything for that heavenly ice cream. Maybe the joke did land.
I called Christina today. She also paid with a card. She told me her account was charged the next day. Score one for me, then.

JUST ONE MORE THING

In yesterday's entry, I forgot to mention something about the T-P sign concerning the cleaning of the floors. The sign was posted by the Oxford Cleaning Services. Now I know where they picked up such sophisticated vocabulary like "commencing," "beyond negotiation," and "alternate egress." The cleaners studied at the prestigious Oxford University. This from co-worker John Fiegel: "I'm coming in this weekend just to ride the egress."

AFTER ALL, SHE WAS FOUND IN THE NUDE

While I was eating at Purchase, Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" was playing. There's a line at the end of the chorus that goes: "Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did." This is a classic song, sure. But that line has always bothered me. When exactly did Marilyn Monroe's legend fade? I'm pretty sure her legend still exists and continues to grow, what with the questions surrounding her death and whatnot. The line should be: "Your candle burned out long before your legend ever will." Or a different line about how her legend will never burn out.

THE CARPOOL LANE

Phil and Bake have started carpooling together to work to save some green. They have a meeting place, which Bake told me is top secret. He said yesterday he parked in front of a sign that read: "Non customers will be towed." He wasn't buying it. What a rebel. Anyway, Bake is not too impressed with Phil's wheels. "Phil's ride needs work. Mine isn't exactly pimped out. But his (lets out a long whistle). "I mean that thing has no suspension." Bake tells me Phil is well aware of this.

PARTING SHOT
On the first day we're both at work in some time, Marcus tells me to sign on AIM. Shocking, I know.

Me: "Hey, once while you were gone, I signed on at 4:30."
Bake: "Right about the time you got in, eh."
Me: "Yup. Without being told too." (I then realized Bake's joke. He was pointing out that I'm always late. We're supposed to be here at 4.)

THE DAILY TOP LIST
Another installment of my top 40 TV shows. In case you are wondering, I've liked more shows than just these. Here's a quick list of a few more that didn't quite make the list: The Wonder Years, Newhart, Becker, The Facts of Life, Different Strokes, Two and a Half Men, Inspector Gadget, Clarrisa Explains it All, Chuck, Pushing Daises, Designing Women, Joey, The Brady Bunch, Teachers, Laverne and Shirley, Rhoda, Who's Afraid of the Dark?, Yes, Dear, Weird Science. Back to the top shows:

30) Stella. Seasons: 1. Episodes: 10. 2005. Only 10 episodes, but they were all comedy magic. Still not sure why Comedy Central canceled this gold mine. Biggest other fan I know: I think it's Chuck.

29) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Seasons: 10. Episodes: 193. 1987-1996. Favorite cartoon as a kid. I had action figures, weapons, the works. My mom sold them though. Wish I still had them. Biggest other fan I know: Everybody my age who grew up in the suburbs.

28) Happy Days. Seasons: 11. Episodes: 255. 1974-1984. Who didn't want to be the Fonz? Richie went to college to study journalism. We're kin. Biggest other fan I know: JRap, who I believe stopped watching the show while Fonzie was in mid-air over that shark.

27) Arrested Development. Seasons: 3. Episodes: 53. 2003-06. If this show would have been put on HBO instead of FOX, it might be one of the most popular sitcoms of our time. Biggest other fan I know: Bob, who will argue (and in his argument will say that he's not arguing) that it is a scientific fact that this is the greatest show ever made.

26) Sanford and Son. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 135. 1972-1977. The greatest theme song in TV history without using words in the song. Made me want to acquire junk and store it. Biggest other fan I know: Marcus.