I might have to amend my top achievements. On Tuesday afternoon, I made it big on the World Wide Web. The gene pool is linked on Wikipedia. Let me explain. I made a top 5 list of games that didn't involve my teams (at the request of JRap). No. 3 was this year's Super Bowl. I referred to the Eli pass to Tyree as the Great Helmet Escape Catch. It combines the great escape by Eli, and the pinning of the ball against his helmet by Tyree. Say it a few times fast and slip it into a conversation. It starts to flow. You'll see.
Lopes read my list and pointed out that there is a Wikipedia page for that play. He suggested I add that name to the list of other names for the play on the page. I did that today. Now, there are 12 listed names for the play on Wikipedia, and mine is one of them. It has the link at the bottom of the page for that day's Gene Pool entry. Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eli_Manning_pass_to_David_Tyree
Tell all your friends. Hopefully, the powers that be, whoever they are, don't take it down. Fingers crossed.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
There was a story in the paper today about a guy who got arrested for raping a woman he hired as a maid. Crazy stuff. My mom read that story and responded as she always does to these kind of crimes (it's one of her main catchphrases, if you will): "Hang him by the balls. Then he can't do that shit anymore."
We were watching the ESPYs today, but mom's tape cut off before the final award. She was upset: "Motherfuck!"
I left the milk out after pouring a glass. She sees the milk sitting on the counter and says: "You left the fucking milk out. That's not good."
I also left the back door open after coming inside. She said sarcastically (pointing at the door): "This is called a door. It closes." You see, she doesn't curse every time.
SPEAKING OF THE ESPYS
I'm not the biggest fan of award shows. But I watched the ESPYs today, and I got to say, that show was some entertaining. Justin Timberlake had some good lines, a good song summing up the year in sports and a piece where he was "at" famous press conferences in the past year asking questions. Hilarious. Will Ferrell pretended to be Tiger and accepted the award for best male athlete. That was funny. I wasn't expecting this, but I agreed with the winner chosen for every major award they gave out.
The Great Helmet Escape Catch won the ESPY for best play. Eli thanked his lineman for not blocking. Good one. Then they scanned the crowd and showed Plaxico Burress and Brett Favre. Here's what they were probably whispering to the person next to them.
Plaxico: "This is bullshit. I made the game-winning catch. All they did was get a first down. And I faked the shit out of that dude. I'm telling you, I won the damn game, not those two."
Favre: "Gee wiz. If I wouldn't have thrown that terrible interception in the NFC Championship game, those buffoons would have been watching the Super Bowl from home. They would be nothing without me."
THE MIRACLE ON EARHART
Paul usually comes over after work on Monday nights to watch Raw. It's near the end of the shift last night when I call Paul to tell him I'll be getting off soon. He says he's playing poker with work people and he should be leaving around midnight. I say fine and surf the net a little.
While I'm driving on Earhart right past the Shell station, I look over at the car next to me. It's Paul. These things just don't happen everyday. We're both on the way to my house, and now we're driving next to each other. That's crazy. We keep a conversation going for two minutes until we get to the Earhart Expressway.
In other driving news, a gecko sat on the hood of my car on the way to work the other day for about five minutes. I'm not sure if that's part of GEICO's insurance policy, but if it is, I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.
PARTING SHOT
From the almighty Brett Favre while accepting the ESPY for record-breaking performance. Remember, Favre said this, not me.
"It goes without saying that how much of an honor and a privilege it is for me to even be mentioned in the same breath as a guy like Dan Marino, in my opinion the greatest passer of all-time."
THE DAILY TOP LIST
Five more from my top 40 shows. We're halfway home now. Today's list could almost be called the six-seasons group.
25) I Love Lucy. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 179. 1951-57. To me, the Vitameatavegamin skit is the greatest five minutes in TV history. You just can't argue against this show. Biggest other fan I know: My mom.
24) The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 148. 1990-96. Will Smith. Need I say more? Biggest other fan I know: Paul.
23) The Bob Newhart Show. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 142. 1972-78. Thinking of this show makes me want to call a Chinese restaurant and order moo goo gai pan over and over again. Biggest other fan I know: The people who invented the Bob Newhart drinking game, where you drink every time someone says: Hi, Bob.
22) Journeyman. Seasons: 1. Episodes: 13. 2007. Each episode seemed like it was better than the next. I'll never forgive NBC for canceling it. Main character was a newspaper reporter who had a gambling addiction. I liked that guy. Biggest other fan I know: Paul.
21) Mama's Family. Seasons: 6. Episodes: 130. 1983-1990. This was the first show I remember referring to as my favorite. Vinton is still my favorite dingbat character. Biggest other fan I know: Paul.
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