HITCHHIKERS GONE WILD

Don't know how I left this off yesterday's blog, but I did. On the way to Waffle House, I'm at a long red light waiting to make a left turn. I hear a voice that says: "Hey, buddy." I don't look over. He repeats himself and adds: "I'm talking to you." I look over.
No, this is not a homeless person asking for money. This guy, who badly needed a shave, precedes to tell me that he's been hitchhiking all day and just needs to get some groceries in his belly. This is at 11:30 p.m. He then says that he could use a ride as well. Ummm, no.
He goes on to say that he has a job all lined up in Memphis that starts Monday. He's just trying to get there.

The Grocery Man: "So, can you help me out?"
Me: "I don't think so."
TGM: "Look, I have a job in Memphis on Monday. I've been hitchhiking all day. I just got to New Orleans."
Me: "Um, we're not in New Orleans."
TGM: "Oh. Where am I?"
Me: "Baton Rouge."

Then, the light turned green. I was Saved by the Light. A new soap opera coming to primetime on ABC this fall.
This guy was sitting on the grass on the side of the road when I pulled up. How could he think he was in New Orleans? How does he expect to make it to Memphis by hitchhiking from God knows where he started from?
Of course, I'm not an idiot. He wasn't hitchhiking. He was probably going to rob Paul and me. Then maybe kill us.

SMACKDOWN YOUR DETAIL

I forgot to mention two things in yesterday's blog. The first is about Paul not knowing the Jonas brothers. If you were to ask Paul on a scale of 1 to 10, how much he knows about pop culture, I'm pretty sure he would say an 8. Maybe 8 1/2. Maybe 7 1/2. But he would give himself a high mark. I think not knowing the Jonas brothers makes him lose at least two points.
Second, about the guy who yelled about oral sex to Vickie Guerrero. It's important to note that Vickie was on the ramp at the time. And we were sitting in the section closest to the ramp. And our guy was sitting in the front row. There was a match going on at the time, which means that Vickie was sitting in her wheelchair quietly on the ramp. So, Vickie could hear him. Loud and clear. Poor gal.

DINNER CONVERSATION

Last Sunday night, we heard a noise in the sports department. It sounded weird. So a couple of my co-workers went to check it out. They were gone for a minute at the most. I didn't think anything of it until dinner Thursday night.
Another worker is telling a story about the weird noise. He (who also didn't get up) says that when the co-workers went to investigate the noise on Sunday, another co-worker (who also didn't get up) turned to him and complained.
Complainer: "I don't see what the big fucking deal is. It's just raining. Why does everyone have to get up and go look?"
The complainer was mad because those disappearing workers weren't at their stations doing work. He, however, was at his work station doing work. And not being distracted by noises because he is a workhorse.

PARTING SHOT

Brick tells me that Honeybees tryouts are July 20th at the Arena. I tell him that they are required to wear shorts so of course, I'll be there.

Brick: So, if they're too long, your going to correct that problem?

Me: No, if the shorts are too long, I'll kick them out of the tryouts.

Darrell: Be firm with them, Gene. Be firm.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My five favorite sports victories that didn't clinch a title. Note that none of these teams went on to win the championship.

5) Tie. LSU baseball vs. Cal State Fullerton. June 2008. LSU basketball vs. Texas. March 2006.
Down 7-2 in the eighth and 7-4 in the ninth, the Tigers rally to win and eventually advance to the College World Series. The basketball team made the Final Four with an overtime victory. I watched crawled in a ball in the corner of the Triangle of Trust.
4) The Rockets 22-game winning streak. Spring 2008.
Besides helping me win a bet, this was my favorite streak by one of my teams. I think I was able to watch half of these games. I went to a bar twice to watch it on the NBA package.
3) The Hornets vs. the Mavericks. May 2008.
The Hornets first playoff series victory as a New Orleans team. Made better by the fact that I was there.
2) Saints vs. Eagles. January 2007.
Can't ever forget Deuce carrying defenders into the end zone with him. I had a few tears while watching at work. And still have text messages from friends saved on my phone from that night.
1) Cubs vs. Braves. October 2003.
Only playoff series victory for the Cubs since 1908, and I was there. Trust me, I have the shirt to prove it. It was a Sunday night. I left Loyola on Sunday morning. I returned to Loyola at 8:15 Monday morning and then walked into my 8:30 class with the clothes I was wearing Saturday night at work.