THE YEAR OF THE CHAMPIONSHIPS?

My favorite sport is basketball. No question. It was my first love growing up. My dad got me a little Larry Bird goal when I was 2. He taught me how to shoot when I was like 4. When I watched The Pistol, I tried to go to sleep with a basketball in the bed. Mom wasn't a big fan of that one.  

Somewhere in our video tape collection (though I might have erased it), mom asks me what I want to do when I grow up. I was 8 at the time. I say: "I want to be a basketball player." In my day, my game was similar to James Posey. Defense. Hustle. Knock down 3s. 

My excitement level for a new season is at an all-time high this season. Normally, I'm way more excited about college basketball. But this year, I'd say I'm equally excited about college and pro. That's saying something considering I believe the Tar Heels have a legitimate shot to go undefeated.  1) My pro teams (Hornets, Rockets) are two of seven teams with a chance to win the title. 2) I have tickets to 10 Hornets games already. 3) Last year's NBA season was awesome. Scratch that. It was where amazing happened. 

I had lunch with my dad today, and we spent more than half the conversation talking about the upcoming season. Here's my predictions.

1) I don't think the Blazers will be as good as everybody thinks. They have a lot of talent, but they won't make quite the leap that everyone is expecting. Hell, let's be bold. The Blazers won't make the playoffs.

2) I don't have Dallas dropping off like others do. I say the Mavs win 50 games again. 

3) The Celtics won't repeat. I'll say one of the Big 3 breaks down. Though, they can still win without Ray Allen. Did you see Leon Powe and Tony Allen on opening night? 

4) The Cavs will win the East. I'm picking LeBron's team to win conference every year until he's out of his prime. Remember, Cleveland gave Boston all it could handle in last year's playoffs. The Cavs could easily have won Game 1 or Game 7. 

5) I can't pick the West. It comes down to the Lakers, Spurs, Hornets and Rockets. I want to pick one of the latter, but I'm not sure if that's just with my heart. OK. Fine. I'll pick. Hornets.

Hornets questions: 1) Can Mike James fulfill the backup point guard spot and score points to make up for Pargo's departure? 2) Can the Wasps (I call them that because hornets are wasps, not bees) get anything out of their backup big men? 3) Is Posey a big enough difference-maker? 4) Can CP3, Mr. West and Tyson get even better together? 5) Can they make shots when it matters? (They were ice cold in Game 7 against the Spurs.)

Rockets questions: 1) Can they stay healthy? 2) Will lack of size on the bench cost them? 3) Can they stay healthy? 4) Can they mix and match the right lineups with Artest, Scola, Battier and T-Mac and finally get out the first round? 5) Can they stay healthy? 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

Mom turns on the heat in the house for the first time this season. It doesn't turn on. "Motherfuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." A few minutes later. "If it ain't one thing, it's a fucking nother around here." (Don't worry. It came on about two minutes later.)

For the first time in a month, on Demand isn't working on either of our TVs. "It won't let me fucking through Demand. Now, I got to get back on the fucking phone."

Mom tells me that my car insurance should go down significantly on my next bill. "It went up last time because they found out (safety details) about the fucking car."

Mom is watching Season 6 of 24. President Wayne Palmer realizes Jack was right. "Of course, he's right. It's only been seven fucking years. He's always right, asshole."

Mom is telling me about the cost of Sarah Palin's wardrobe. I then curse myself multiple times for not putting that in the Did You Know? yesterday. Did you know that Palin's wardrobe is really, really expensive? Mom is upset by my use of the "f" word. "What are you fucking about? Fuck. You want to hear some fucking? My fucking teeth are falling out. Another fucking piece came out this morning. I can't even last until my next appointment." 

CBS was all reruns Monday. "The CSI was from two years ago. Fucking TV these days." She then scrolls down the guide on the TV. "What the fuck is this?"

Mom brings in the mail. She looks at a political ad. "Who the fuck is this?" 

FANTASY FEVER

The losing streaks are over. Both of my fantasy teams were winners last week. Thanks for all the folks out there who had a rally cap on for me. I couldn't take any more losses in a row.

The Gene Poolers (5-3) not only won, but I took over the overall points lead. Even though Allen is 7-1, I have 43 more points than him. The league average is 97.7. Last week, I scored 158. My three receivers (Jennings, Santana Moos and White) combined for 323 yards and five touchdowns. In the auction draft, I basically got all these guys without a fight. Suckers.

The Dos Agateers (3-5) got a big game from a returning Brian Westbrook. That's one win. If we win this week, that would be two. The week after that three in a row. That's called a winning streak. It has happened before.

PARTING SHOTS

My dad tells me a conversation that took place at the paper station.

Dad: "This dealer is talking about how Wembley Stadium is used to hosting football because that's what they call soccer over there. He then says that the stadium also hosts the biggest tennis event of the year."

Me: "You mean he thought Wimbledon was at Wembley?"

Dad: "Yeah. I didn't want to say anything to him to embarrass him." 

Retro quote: October 28, 2004 

An Internet site is beginning to take over the world.

Someone (I think it was Gillie): "Chuck, did you join facebook.com yet?"

Chuck: "No. I'm not a joiner."

Someone else: "Aren't you in a fraternity?"

THE DAILY TOP LIST 

Many times when I first hear a song, I will mess up the words. Sometimes, I don't find out I'm wrong for some time. So at Jelly's request, the top five songs for which I sang the wrong lyrics.

5) All the Small Things. Blink 182.

Actual lyric: Always I know, you'll be at my show. Watching. Waiting. Commiserating. 

What I used to sing: Watching. Waiting. Come as a rating. 

How I found out: I asked someone why Blink would care about ratings at a live show. Aren't those for TV, I asked. The person explained what commiserating meant. 

4) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. ACDC

Actual lyric: Dirty deeds. Done dirt cheap.

What I used to sing: Dirty deeds. Dip da chip. 

How I found out: When I downloaded the song and saw the title. 

3) Mambo No. 5. Lou Bega.

Actual lyric: A little bit of Monica in my life.

What I used to sing: A little bit of Mardi Gras in my life.

How I found out: I got into an argument about Monica vs. Mardi Gras. We looked it up, and I lost. But I know I wasn't the only one who thought this at first. It still sounds like Mardi Gras. I mean. Umm. I haven't heard that song in like forever. 

2) Jet Airliner. Steve Miller Band.

Actual lyric: Big ol' jet airliner.

What I used to sing: We gonna jell at a lighthouse.

How I found out: When I uploaded the greatest hits album onto my computer, I thought to myself: What is this song called Jet Airliner? I played it. Then it clicked in my head. 

1) We Are the Champions. Queen.

Actual lyric: I've taken my bows. And my curtain calls. ... But it's been no bed of roses. No pleasure cruise.

What I used to sing: I've taken my bows. And my cans of corn. ... But it's been no bed of roses. No pleasure cruel.

How I found out: One day I'm singing it, and I finally realize that what I'm saying doesn't make any sense. I look up the lyrics.