NOT THE END OF AN ERA

Lopes called Tuesday afternoon to tell me he had news. I immediately knew what he was going to say. Five-cent Skittles are back, baby. I knew that if I kept the faith and never gave up, that somehow, someway the cheap candy would return to me as naturally as Indiana Jones' fedora.

One of my possible scenarios for the whole candy row not working was that it was a coincidence. Bingo. Slot F4 being five cents had nothing to do with the row responding with: Please make another selection. When the row was fixed, the error (well, a blessing to us) remained undetected. And voila, five-cent Skittles made its triumphant comeback. If the vendor didn't catch the mistake then, I'm starting to think he never will. Awesome.

I am upset about one thing, though. The past two Skittles development were uncovered while I was off. This doesn't seem right. I should be the first one to find out all things as it relates to the Skittles. It's not like I didn't try. While the candy row was on the fritz like J.D.'s peep, I went up to the vending machine every night (sometimes two or three times) and pressed F1, F2, etc. to see if the row was working yet. Dear cheap-candy gods, why, oh why, is Lopes breaking all this news to me?

When I got back to work Thursday, I took a dime downstairs to buy a bag of Skittles. I ended up buying the last one and learned (like I was working for ESPN) that the rest of the rack was filled with Starburst, now in its second appearance in the five-cent slot. Eat that, Lopes. Wait. I bet you will.

While I'm eating a green Skittle, Marcus is trying to rile me up by making a sarcastic comment about my prep rail. He makes the remark as if I wasn't sitting right there. I play along and clear my throat a couple of times. Which causes me to choke a little on the Skittle. Liam then chimes in with: "Wouldn't it be ironic if Gene choked on a Skittle?" I responded like Joe Pesci to Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. "Ha-ha. Very funny."

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

The air conditioner broke early Thursday. We set up fans in some of the rooms. I go back to bed and curl up with a blanket. "Are you kidding me? A fucking blanket."

Mom tells me to make sure they use a towel when removing the break tag. "Last time they didn't use a towel on mine. It was the worst thing. Little fucking pieces of things all over."

BE MY GUEST, BE MY GUEST

I had been talking about it for a long time, but Wednesday afternoon I finally did it. No. I didn't get a life. I got a 10-game Hornets ticket package. I'm the proud owner of two tickets in Section 312. Row 11. Seats 17 and 18. That's basically like being in section 313. Or so the ticket representative told me.

I wanted to buy the weekday package, but on the Web site, it said they were sold out of them. I asked the person who took my order if they were really sold out or could I still buy one. "Oh, no. They didn't sell out. We just discontinued them because no one was buying them." Well, I wanted to buy one. With that package not an option, I bought the contenders package. Now, I just have to hope that the greatest, kindest, most wonderful boss in the whole wide world will let me off on those select dates. Plus, the Rockets games, which aren't included in the package.

And I need to find people to sit in my other seat. So if you want to go to a particular game or just one game at some point, let me know. It'll bee (get it?) fun. I promise. Clapping. Cheering. Chastising the other team. This shit ain't free, though. $25 a pop. Except for JRap. He, obviously, can come for free. First he takes me to a Saints game and then enters the building Thursday with this comment. "Gene, your lights are on." Here's the lineup.

Cavaliers. Saturday, November 1. (home opener)

Suns. Wednesday, December 3.

Spurs (Boooo!). Wednesday, December 17.

Pacers (A contender? Really?). Monday. January 19.

76ers. Monday, January 26.

Blazers. Monday, February 2.

Pistons. Wednesday, February 25.

Thunder (still can't believe that's an NBA team). Saturday, March 7.

Warriors. Sunday, March 22.

Mavericks. Sunday, April 12 (final home game and at noon)

PARTING SHOTS

I comment that Jennifer Aniston is too skinny.

Marcus: Gene might be a chubby chaser.
D: Chevy Chase?

D uses the Mac to fix a cutline.

Marcus: D, you ain't been a Mac since the 70s.

Retro quote: October 2, 2004
We're at Jenna's birthday party in the girls' dorm on a Saturday night. There was a spill (of alcohol, I believe) on the couch. Awhile later, Jenna sits on the couch.

Jenna: Danny, it's still wet.
(This was the first time Jenna met Danny.)

THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top 5 main headlines I've written in a newspaper.

5) NEAUX GEAUX. January 8, 2008.
OK. So this didn't actually make the paper. But it probably would have had Ohio State defeated LSU.

4) GONE WITH THE WIND. April 21, 2006.
This was for a Maroon story about Loyola cutting programs after a drop in enrollment following you know what.

3) ENEMY OF THE STATE. September 28, 2008.
After LSU defeated Mississippi State for the ninth consecutive time. On Sunday morning, my mom was flipping through the paper. She holds up the sports section. "You wrote this fucking headline, didn't you?"

2) ROYAL WELCOME. June 8. 2007.
For Game 1 of the San Antonio-Cleveland finals. The drophead was: Spurs stymie King James and his court in Finals debut

1) CHALK IT UP. April 8, 2008.
Drophead: Jayhawks rally late, rock in overtime to win first championship in 20 years.
I looked at a lot of other papers' headlines for the national title game. Most of them had some sort of surprise element like: Rock Shock or Rock and Shock or Shock and Awe or Shockhawks. But those headlines all imply that Kansas shocked Memphis. Sure, they rallied. But it's not shocking when a team that was in the top 5 all season wins the championship.