PEEPS CALL ME UP, SAY THERE'S A SAINTS PARTY
Whenever there's a primetime or big-time football game, the sports department has a party to add a little extra excitement to the game. Mostly, though, it's to help make us feel better for not being able to watch at home or in Jelly and Lopes' case Monday night, from our seats in the Superdome. Sorry, guys.
Whenever there's a primetime or big-time football game, the sports department has a party to add a little extra excitement to the game. Mostly, though, it's to help make us feel better for not being able to watch at home or in Jelly and Lopes' case Monday night, from our seats in the Superdome. Sorry, guys.
And we do this shit large. The biggest parties were for the two LSU national championship games. You probably wouldn't believe the amount of food we had for that first one. The most memorable party was the return to the Dome on Monday Night Football against the Falcons. That was off the hook.
Here's the lineup we had for the Vikings game: Three large pizzas, eight 2-liters, four bags of chips, a side pot of macaroni and cheese, Marion's brownies (which somehow were even better than usual). That was about it. Oh wait. I forgot the main course. A 35-piece box of chicken from McHardy's.
Nobody was in charge of plates and cups, though. JRap retrieved a bunch of plates from downstairs (even though as he was taking them, the cafeteria lady told him: "Those plates cost money."), and I stole a stack of coffee cups from the table near the elevators. We're a cheap group.
There's 35 pieces of chicken in there, folks. For my part, I put down three legs and two thighs.
When it was all said and done, we left one tiny leg. The tiniest leg you ever did see. It probably didn't even count as one of the 35 it was so small.
I started a list Saturday night for what we needed for the party. Some jackass signed up Marcus as bringing goose feet. I'm looking for you, buddy.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
I wake up at 2:30 p.m. Monday. "You're going to sleep your fucking life away."
Mom is upset that the T-P doesn't have Saints pools. "I can't believe the fucking sports department doesn't have a pool. We used to have a fucking pool at my work, and we sold automobile parts." (Then later.) "Fucking sports with no pool. That's fucking sad."
Mom does not like Sarah Palin, you know. "I think she's a fucking joke. Fucking Tina Fey should run for fucking president."
Mom said she learned how the financial crisis happened and how the bailout works from Oprah. "I got most of my information from Oprah. I watched the episode the other day to see where the fucking 700 billion is going."
I TOLD YOU NONE OF THEIR GAMES ARE BORING
Since about five minutes after the Redskins game, I've been telling anyone who would listen that Minnesota was the most important game of the season. I assumed correctly a loss to Denver and a win against the 49ers for a 2-2 mark. With a win against the Vikings, I could see them going 10-6 and making the playoffs. With a loss, I saw 8-8. So, after watching Monday Night Frustration, I was ready to give up on the 08 campaign. (What a rough few days of being a fan with the Saints and Cubs.)
I haven't given up on the season quite yet, though. Fuck, with a couple of 40-something yard field goals, this team is 4-1. After talking to Trips (T-P writer), I realized that there is still a chance. Trips said the Saints have to finish 5-1 in the division. I took that to mean a sweep of the Falcons, a home win vs. Carolina and stealing one in either Carolina or Tampa Bay. Add wins vs. Kansas City, Oakland and Detroit. They probably won't beat San Diego at home in London or Chicago on the road (see previous two years). Which makes the Saints 9-6.
Assuming a 5-1 division mark (which is what is needed to make the playoffs in the first place, whether they beat Minnesota or not), the key game is now November 24 against the Packers (who will be playing much better by then, I assume) at the Dome. Coincidentally, that is a Monday night affair.
About the game:
1) Damn, Red Meat. Damn.
Besides the three spectacular punt returns (I think he actually made more impressive moves on the one where he fell down), Reggie (except for one play) didn't duck out of bounds and turned upfield for extra yardage. He didn't run sideways but instead fell forward. He averaged 1.4 yards a catch vs. San Fran. He averaged 9.1 per catch against the Vikes.
Credit to D on the first punt return. After Red Meat ran backward and lost yards on a punt, D said: "That's all right. He gonna get one." I told him he already got one against the Skins. D: "No. I mean this game. He gonna return one this game." Twenty minutes later, Red Meat was streaking down the sideline for the first score.
Have you ever noticed that Red Meat always breaks a tackle on his punt returns for touchdowns? He has four such returns in his career, and he's broken a tackle (while running sideways on three of them) every time. Sure, the guy is sort of diving at him. But he's still breaking it.
2) Fast starts are bad.
It seems that when the Saints jump out to a quick 7-0 lead and then get a stop, it all goes down hill from there. It happened Monday night and against the Rams last season. It also happened vs. Tampa, but they rallied to win that one. In all three cases, you got the feeling the Saints would steamroll, but they didn't. I don't think this team has a killer instinct. It's like they want the games to be close.
3) As Tina would probably say: Fucking second quarter.
That was some crazy stuff. Lance's bobble into the arms of the linebacker? I don't think shit like that happens to other teams. They kept driving and driving and not scoring and not scoring. (Reminded me of the Texans game last season.) In five first-half penetrations into Minnesota territory, the Saints scored 10 points. Not good.
The non-facemask call surely didn't help. That drive would have at least led to a field goal (barring some other crazy ass play). Instead, the Saints come away with nothing. How could that call be missed? It was so blatant.
4) Two defensive plays.
The defense played pretty darn well in this one. If you would have told any football fan that the Saints would hold Adrian freakin' Peterson to 32 yards on the ground, the fan would have said Saints by two touchdowns at least. Even though the Saints have not been giving up a ton of big pass plays, their five opponents have mostly thrown against them. The least number of passes attempted against them was 34. And that was by Denver's Jay Cutler. Bet you wouldn't have guessed that.
Unfortunately, the Saints defense didn't finish the game. The Vikes got their only two real drives of the game in the final 12 minutes for the winning 10 points.
Play No. 1
Third-and-16 from the Saints 33. 7:18 remaining. Touchdown to Berrian.
The Saints bring the house and don't get there. Two receivers break over the middle on posts routes in one-on-one coverage. It's third-and-16 for crying out loud. Rush 5 and drop 6. Have a safety take away the deep throw Gus threw and force an underneath throw. They probably kick a field goal to cut the lead to 27-23. Then, the Saints just run out the clock for the win.
Play No. 2
Third-and-three from the Vikes' 44. 1:18 remaining. Pass interference.
Double coverage. Both players right there. No need for the pass interference. If Kaesviharn turns around, he breaks up the pass or maybe even intercepts it. The Vikes were hoping for a miracle on that play and got it. I would have loved to see them punt again.
I wake up at 2:30 p.m. Monday. "You're going to sleep your fucking life away."
Mom is upset that the T-P doesn't have Saints pools. "I can't believe the fucking sports department doesn't have a pool. We used to have a fucking pool at my work, and we sold automobile parts." (Then later.) "Fucking sports with no pool. That's fucking sad."
Mom does not like Sarah Palin, you know. "I think she's a fucking joke. Fucking Tina Fey should run for fucking president."
Mom said she learned how the financial crisis happened and how the bailout works from Oprah. "I got most of my information from Oprah. I watched the episode the other day to see where the fucking 700 billion is going."
I TOLD YOU NONE OF THEIR GAMES ARE BORING
Since about five minutes after the Redskins game, I've been telling anyone who would listen that Minnesota was the most important game of the season. I assumed correctly a loss to Denver and a win against the 49ers for a 2-2 mark. With a win against the Vikings, I could see them going 10-6 and making the playoffs. With a loss, I saw 8-8. So, after watching Monday Night Frustration, I was ready to give up on the 08 campaign. (What a rough few days of being a fan with the Saints and Cubs.)
I haven't given up on the season quite yet, though. Fuck, with a couple of 40-something yard field goals, this team is 4-1. After talking to Trips (T-P writer), I realized that there is still a chance. Trips said the Saints have to finish 5-1 in the division. I took that to mean a sweep of the Falcons, a home win vs. Carolina and stealing one in either Carolina or Tampa Bay. Add wins vs. Kansas City, Oakland and Detroit. They probably won't beat San Diego at home in London or Chicago on the road (see previous two years). Which makes the Saints 9-6.
Assuming a 5-1 division mark (which is what is needed to make the playoffs in the first place, whether they beat Minnesota or not), the key game is now November 24 against the Packers (who will be playing much better by then, I assume) at the Dome. Coincidentally, that is a Monday night affair.
About the game:
1) Damn, Red Meat. Damn.
Besides the three spectacular punt returns (I think he actually made more impressive moves on the one where he fell down), Reggie (except for one play) didn't duck out of bounds and turned upfield for extra yardage. He didn't run sideways but instead fell forward. He averaged 1.4 yards a catch vs. San Fran. He averaged 9.1 per catch against the Vikes.
Credit to D on the first punt return. After Red Meat ran backward and lost yards on a punt, D said: "That's all right. He gonna get one." I told him he already got one against the Skins. D: "No. I mean this game. He gonna return one this game." Twenty minutes later, Red Meat was streaking down the sideline for the first score.
Have you ever noticed that Red Meat always breaks a tackle on his punt returns for touchdowns? He has four such returns in his career, and he's broken a tackle (while running sideways on three of them) every time. Sure, the guy is sort of diving at him. But he's still breaking it.
2) Fast starts are bad.
It seems that when the Saints jump out to a quick 7-0 lead and then get a stop, it all goes down hill from there. It happened Monday night and against the Rams last season. It also happened vs. Tampa, but they rallied to win that one. In all three cases, you got the feeling the Saints would steamroll, but they didn't. I don't think this team has a killer instinct. It's like they want the games to be close.
3) As Tina would probably say: Fucking second quarter.
That was some crazy stuff. Lance's bobble into the arms of the linebacker? I don't think shit like that happens to other teams. They kept driving and driving and not scoring and not scoring. (Reminded me of the Texans game last season.) In five first-half penetrations into Minnesota territory, the Saints scored 10 points. Not good.
The non-facemask call surely didn't help. That drive would have at least led to a field goal (barring some other crazy ass play). Instead, the Saints come away with nothing. How could that call be missed? It was so blatant.
4) Two defensive plays.
The defense played pretty darn well in this one. If you would have told any football fan that the Saints would hold Adrian freakin' Peterson to 32 yards on the ground, the fan would have said Saints by two touchdowns at least. Even though the Saints have not been giving up a ton of big pass plays, their five opponents have mostly thrown against them. The least number of passes attempted against them was 34. And that was by Denver's Jay Cutler. Bet you wouldn't have guessed that.
Unfortunately, the Saints defense didn't finish the game. The Vikes got their only two real drives of the game in the final 12 minutes for the winning 10 points.
Play No. 1
Third-and-16 from the Saints 33. 7:18 remaining. Touchdown to Berrian.
The Saints bring the house and don't get there. Two receivers break over the middle on posts routes in one-on-one coverage. It's third-and-16 for crying out loud. Rush 5 and drop 6. Have a safety take away the deep throw Gus threw and force an underneath throw. They probably kick a field goal to cut the lead to 27-23. Then, the Saints just run out the clock for the win.
Play No. 2
Third-and-three from the Vikes' 44. 1:18 remaining. Pass interference.
Double coverage. Both players right there. No need for the pass interference. If Kaesviharn turns around, he breaks up the pass or maybe even intercepts it. The Vikes were hoping for a miracle on that play and got it. I would have loved to see them punt again.
By the way, that was exactly the kind of play I was talking about in Sunday's blog about pass interference. Kaesviharn ended up knocking Berrian down, but Berrian did a hell of a job wrapping his arms around Kaesviharn and tackling himself to the ground. A 15-yard penalty would have been much better.
5) Missed field goal.
In Gramatica's defense, both missed winning field goals have come on the right hash mark. On second-and-9 from the Vikes' 28 with 2:13 remaining, can you please explain to me why they didn't run up the middle to get down to the two-minute warning (and instead threw incomplete, leaving 2:04 on the clock). If you run on second to the two-minute warning, then on third down, you have an option to run or pass. Maybe throw a quick pass, like a screen or something and make the Vikes use a timeout.
5) Missed field goal.
In Gramatica's defense, both missed winning field goals have come on the right hash mark. On second-and-9 from the Vikes' 28 with 2:13 remaining, can you please explain to me why they didn't run up the middle to get down to the two-minute warning (and instead threw incomplete, leaving 2:04 on the clock). If you run on second to the two-minute warning, then on third down, you have an option to run or pass. Maybe throw a quick pass, like a screen or something and make the Vikes use a timeout.
I would have liked them to just run up the middle on second and third down, say for 4 total yards. (Heck, Deuce might break off a first down. He is capable of that, you know.) Then, you kick a 42-yard field goal from the middle of the field. The Vikes would have used a timeout and gotten the ball back with like 1:45 left and one timeout.
But Payton doesn't have a conservative bone in his body. I think he could use a transplant. Calling Dr. Andrews.
DID YOU KNOW?
Did you know that Clay Aiken is gay? Yeah. He recently came out of the closet. He just couldn't lie to his little boy. I think he's a single father, but that's not really the issue here. Though, that is a bit weird.
I mean I couldn't believe the news when I heard it. I could have sworn Clay was the straightest son of a bitch walking the planet. His mannerisms. His deep, manly voice.
Seriously, though, have you ever heard such no-fucking-shit news in your life? In other news, Barack Obama and John McCain are running for president.
PARTING SHOTS
Jelly: You have until Marcus' third piece of chicken to finish the sports briefs, Bake. So that's like 15 minutes after Lopes gets back with it.
Bake: Fifteen? More like five.
Lopes and I imitate Lance Moore jumping up to catch a pass.
Phil: Are ya'll doing the wave?
Retro quote: October 6, 2004
On a particularly productive day in the Maroon office.
Me: "How much Woodchuck could Chuck chug if Chuck did chug Woodchuck?"
THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five most memorable moments for the Saints on Monday Night Football.
5) From the crib. November 21, 1983.
Jets 31, Saints 28.
It's when I first knew I hated the Jets.
4) "Home" game. September 19, 2005.
Giants 27, Saints 10.
Saints had one less home game because this thing was in New York after you know what. Having one less home game sounds awfully familiar.
3) I was there. December 17, 2001.
Rams 34, Saints 21.
I went with Paul and Regina (second part of saga coming soon to a blog near you). We had 50-yard line seats in the lower level. That was awesome.
2) Deuce isn't loose. September 24, 2007.
Titans 31, Saints 14.
Deuce blows out his right ACL. Jelly kept the ticket from that game at her desk until Deuce returned in style last week against the 49ers.
1) Return to the Dome. September 25, 2006.
Saints 23, Falcons 3.
PARTING SHOTS
Jelly: You have until Marcus' third piece of chicken to finish the sports briefs, Bake. So that's like 15 minutes after Lopes gets back with it.
Bake: Fifteen? More like five.
Lopes and I imitate Lance Moore jumping up to catch a pass.
Phil: Are ya'll doing the wave?
Retro quote: October 6, 2004
On a particularly productive day in the Maroon office.
Me: "How much Woodchuck could Chuck chug if Chuck did chug Woodchuck?"
THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five most memorable moments for the Saints on Monday Night Football.
5) From the crib. November 21, 1983.
Jets 31, Saints 28.
It's when I first knew I hated the Jets.
4) "Home" game. September 19, 2005.
Giants 27, Saints 10.
Saints had one less home game because this thing was in New York after you know what. Having one less home game sounds awfully familiar.
3) I was there. December 17, 2001.
Rams 34, Saints 21.
I went with Paul and Regina (second part of saga coming soon to a blog near you). We had 50-yard line seats in the lower level. That was awesome.
2) Deuce isn't loose. September 24, 2007.
Titans 31, Saints 14.
Deuce blows out his right ACL. Jelly kept the ticket from that game at her desk until Deuce returned in style last week against the 49ers.
1) Return to the Dome. September 25, 2006.
Saints 23, Falcons 3.
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