I SHOULD JUST WEAR A PARTY HAT UNTIL 2009

Most of the birthdays in The Gene Pool Nation (new term) are in the months of August through December. And the majority of those are in October and November. Paul likes to call it Birthday Season. It starts for The Gene Pool Nation on August 4th with Bert's birthday. But the first birthday I was able to participate in this year was Saturday night at Jenna's 24th or 22nd birthday. However old she happens to be. I just know she's getting younger. As far as I know, there are six birthdays in The Gene Pool Nation this month. Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth.

After finishing the seventh inning of the Cubs game with Jelly and Bake (I told Jelly I'd give 'em one more try at a rally before officially giving up), I raced over to Jenna and Kaila's (also an October birthday) for the birthday festivities. I missed the beginning of the party because I had to work. Don't feel too bad, Jenna. I'm working until midnight next Saturday for Paul's birthday. 

Awww, my all-time favorite couple takes a moment to pose for The Gene Pool. Thanks, guys. You can really see Jenna's youth shining through here. She is getting younger. Much credit to Little Joe here as well. The poor bastard just suffered through another Cubs meltdown in the playoffs (though he did profit by winning a ticket lottery for the NLDS and then selling those tickets) and yet he's sporting a smile wider than Kim Kardashian's rear end. 

We'll always have Atlanta, Little one. (Joe and I went to the Cubs' Game 5 victory over Atlanta back in 2003.)  They can't take that away from us. It's OK, though. We hugged it out. By the way, I greeted Joe like Sarah Palin greeted Biden at the VP debate: "Can I call you Joe?"

I think this is the greatest picture I have ever taken. I was throwing the football (in-depth story on the football tomorrow) with Danny (November birthday) and Gillie (August birthday) when I got the bright idea to take a picture of the big beer pong game in order to make a smart-ass comment about it. 

As I was getting all the participants in the frame, the deciding point, unbeknownst to me, was taking place. I clicked the picture as the victors were celebrating (as you can see by the obligatory hands being thrust in the air). But I also captured the agony of defeat. Chuck, far right, has the same look I had from the second inning Thursday night until sometime Saturday night. At the other end of the table is the best agony of defeat shot you can get. Kaitlin (that was her name, right?) is asking the beer pong gods how they could cause her team such pain. 

Perhaps I should consider a career change. If somebody wants to show this picture to Dinah, I won't stop you. 

Besides missing dinner, I also was absent for the majority of the drinking. Sure, I had a drink when I got there. But I was way behind Gillie, who told me she had "a little bit" to drink before I arrived. Don't know how her impression is sober, but if you ever get the chance, ask Gillie to get wasted and do her Palin voice. Darn right, she'll do it. You betcha. 

Gillie wouldn't let me print the first picture I took of her. But on the fourth try and with Kaila joining the action, I think you'll agree, I got a winner. Good luck topping this party, Paul.

Other notes on Jenna's 20th birthday party. 

-- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNA! (Did I say that yet?)

-- Jenna's party was awesome. Just what I needed to forget about the, um, um.

-- Don't tell anyone, but Gillie was some drunk. Yet she still threw and caught the football with ease. I was ready to put her in on Monday night. The Saints need another receiver, right?

-- Danny is back in town. For good. I thought he was just visiting. But no, he's back for good. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I told my mom about O.J.'s verdict. "About fucking time."

Mom is mad at me. "Gene, pick up your shit. You're 25-years-old. This is fucking disgusting."

Mom got mad at me again. "You look up Nip Tuck yet? (No.) Yeah. I guess you don't have time for that bullshit because it doesn't concern you."

Mom thought the weather was going to stay cool. "It's fucking October, and I'm still sweating."

IT WAS THE SUMMER OF 69

Jenna's party and having Little Joe in town reminded me of a song I wrote about our very own Summer of 69 (actually took place in 2003). Probably the greatest summer of my life. I wrote it for Joe's birthday last year. Also, I heard the original song at Bruno's on Tuesday. These things come full circle.

I got my first wiffle ball (I got my first real six string)

Bought it at the Wal-Mart (Bought it at the five and dime)

Played it till Vie bitched (Played it till my fingers bled)

Was the summer of 69

Me and some guys from school

Had a paper and we tried real hard (band)

Chuck sucked, Nick was a "Jerk" (Jimmy quit, Joey got married)

Should have never kissed a wall (Should have known we never get far)

When I look back now 

The summer seemed to last forever

And If I had the choice

I would have slapped Gay Joe (Yah I always want to be there)

Those were the best days of my life

There's some use in complaining (Ain't no use in complaining)

When Joe moved to Arkansas (When you got a job to do)

We spent our evenings down at Bruno's (Spend my evenings down at the drive in)

Abita and rum and coke (And that's when I met you)

Sitting on the back patio (Standing on your momma's porch)

Jenna said that she'd wait forever (You told me that you wait forever)

Oh and when we ate at Dunbar's (Oh and when you held my hand)

I knew that I had found heaven (I knew that it was now or never)

Those were the best days of my life, oh yah

Back in the summer of 69

PARTING SHOTS

We're watching the Auburn-Vanderbilt game.

JRap: You got to pull for the Dores (pronounced doors).

Liam: Nope. Sometimes you got to push.

Pierce is getting upset.

Pierce: Why do I come up here? ... Derry, just take my belt off and spank me.

I'm bonding with JRap's daughter, Anna.

JRap: You played it right, Gene. You sat there and let her come to you.

Me: Unfortunately, that doesn't work with the older ladies.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

The top five reasons the Cubs stunk it up in the playoffs.

5) They couldn't pitch.

Dumpster should have been taken out before the grand slam. The bullpen couldn't keep the Dodgers at bay in Game 2 to allow one of those patented Cubs comebacks late. The ump didn't help in the first inning of Game 3.

4) They couldn't hit.

Not until Game 2 was already over did they get a hit with runners in scoring position. Same for Game 3. They had the same problem last year when they were like 0-for-27 or something ridiculous like that.

3) The use of Fukudome.

I agreed with him playing Game 1. But not in the No. 2 hole. He should not have appeared in the rest of the series unless the Cubs had a late lead. Yet he started Game 2 and substituted in for Edmonds in Game 3. What the fuck? Ever heard of Reed Johnson? Plus, Fontenot should have started Game 2 and would have turned that double play, unlike DeRosa. (So Fuku got a hit in Game 3. So what.)

2) Overconfidence of the fans.

Too many fans just kept saying all year, "It's been 100 years. This is the year. It's destiny." Can you say jinx? Making back-to-back playoffs for the first time since 1908 and having the best record in the majors on June 1 for the first time since 1908 just made the fans more confident. It's like they were actually expecting the Cubs to do it this year. Fuck, so was I. 

1) They're cursed.  

They will never win. It's just the way it is. A fact of life. My mom curses. The Cubs lose. You think that second-inning error fest just happened. No. It's part of the curse. I'm going to take a year off. See you in 2010 Cubs fans. 

Sorry, I didn't mean that. There's always next year!