DOME PATROL
When I got home at 3 a.m. Friday night from the T-P (I did the blog there after the shift), I decided to walk to the convenience store around the corner. Not to buy anything. To see if my dad was chilling there.
Apparently, there's a whole society existing on the porch of the convenient store on Jefferson Highway. There was about 10 people out there, including my dad, and about seven more people showed up in the thirty minutes I was there. They even have their own greeting. "How ya doin, dickhead?"
While I was chatting with pops, he asked me a silly question. "Hey, you want to go to the Saints game Sunday?" Gee, let me think here. Not only did he have two tickets, the son of ma gun scored two seats right behind an end zone.
Dad called early Sunday morning to tell me his truck was on the fritz. The plan was for him to pick me up at work and then drop me back off after the game. I call Lopes to see if we can hitch a ride. He says sure. Lopes got to the T-P 11 minutes before we did and alertly took charge of counting the cars that get lost coming down Howard Avenue. He counted 15. It still amazes me how many people think they've found a shortcut only to find a dead end. Maybe we should put up a big sign. NOT A DOME SHORTCUT. TURN AROUND, DUMBASS.
STILL A KID AT HEART: We're walking to the Dome when the light changes to red while we're on the neutral ground. Lopes and I hold up, but dad is a cook and runs (he'll be 60 in April) across the street. When he realizes we weren't as bold/crazy/energetic as him, he turns around and gives us a what-a-couple-of-girls-you-two-are shrug. I told him Lopes and I wanted to run the offense and slowed up. He, however, wanted to go for a fastbreak. Like it was 1968, and he was playing guard for Rummel. (You like how I started this section with a bold lead-in?)
I swear I'm not stalking Jelly and Jared. I could have hit them with popcorn from my seat. If you're that close, you have to say hello, right? Check out the date on the picture? I should reset my camera. By the way, is the lady behind them saluting? At ease, soldier. 
At quarterback from Purdue, Drew Brees! If I were a decent photographer, you would see Drew in the shot, but I snapped it before he appeared from the tunnel. So you'll have to use your imagination. Hey, you can sort of see Gumbo in the left corner. What up, cous?
Ladies and gentleman, your section 134 leaders: Jason David's family. Say what? Yeah. Jason David's family was about seven rows in front of me. Why else would someone be wearing a No. 42 jersey? This is my third Saints game and my third section. I'm selecting section captains for the whole Dome. On the left is his mother and to the right is his sister. His wife sat at the end of the row, and he has two cute little kids who wore his jersey and had eye-black on. This celebration came after David's interception. I think this guy is becoming adequate. Brave new world, right Brick?
I couldn't believe how close we were. I felt like I could spit on the field. Here's the celebration after Campbell's touchdown catch. It was the only touchdown in our end zone. At least it was on our side of the field. Not a bad shot, eh?Saints' record when I'm not in the house: 0-3. Saints' record when I'm present: 3-0. Of course, Jelly and Lopes can both say that as well. Got two extra tickets to London, Lopes?
At the beginning of the fourth quarter, I got a text from Minkus, left, asking for my section number. Without hesitating, I texted back: 135. Halfway through the period, I see Minkus and Paul strolling down the aisle between section 134 and 135. That's when it hit me. I gave Minkus Jelly's section. I think 135 was stuck in my head because I made poor Jelly tell me her section number about 17 times Saturday night. So the dynamic duo walked up and down the steps between the sections looking in 135 for me. I didn't bother calling out to them. It was too funny watching them look for what seemed like an eternity. They kept shaking their heads and pointing. Minkus calls. "Where are you?" I pretend not to know that he's looking for me. "Why are Reggie and Deuce still in this game? Does Payton want them to get hurt?" I eventually tell him I'm in row 31. So he walks up to 31 and stares at an empty row 31 in section 135.
They finally give up and ironically sit in my section. I walked down to where they are and snap this picture before finally revealing myself. But just then Lopes texts me with a meeting spot. The clock was winding down, and I bolted.
I realize this was kind of mean. But you got to understand. It was funny as hell. The look on their faces when they couldn't find me was priceless. Besides don't you think it's a little weird/creepy that they left their group of 10 in the 600s just to come down and say hello to me? I was with them the night before. I dropped Minkus off at almost 4 a.m. Sunday morning.
Lopes and I are driving back to work after the game when we look over and see this car. Stopped next to us is (are you ready for this?) Jelly and Jared. How could I not take a picture? Lopes said that taking the picture was creepy. Clearly, he's never met Minkus.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
I went to the Quarter last night for Paul's birthday. More on that Monday.
Mom: You went to the Quarter last night by yourself?
Me: Yep.
Mom: You risked your life?
Me: No. I went to Bourbon.
Mom: People get jumped all the time down there.
Me: I didn't have a lot of money on me.
Mom: They'd throw you in the back of the fucking trunk and beat the fucking shit of you.
I'm talking to mom about a Harahan cop I met at the convenience store and his many encounters with drunk drivers. "That's because they pull you over for any little fucking thing."
AS FOR THE GAME ITSELF
1) It was really nice to enjoy a Saints game without having to worry about the score in the fourth quarter. We should get together and do this again real soon. K?
2) I've been telling people that the best thing for the Saints is to go three-and-out on the first series. When they get off to a good start and score a touchdown, they pretty much suck for most of the rest of the game because they think 'Oh, that first drive was easy. We can relax.' When they go three-and-out to start, however, they get pissed off. And do really good after that. Case in point, Sunday.
3) Roman Harper is on his way to breaking the record for most dropped interceptions in a season. He's at three. Is there anyway to look that stat up? I'll call Elias in the morning.
4) How impressive was that 11-minute second quarter-drive? They mixed in Reggie and Deuce. (Though I want to see the package from 06 with them in the game at the same time). They used the tight ends. They used Karney. They used Moore. They picked up multiple third-and-shorts.
5) Easy Breesy Beautiful Quarterback. That should be Drew's slogan. Sing it a few times. It's catchy. It seemed to me the Raiders' strategy was to bring limited pressure and drop a bunch of people in pass protection. That's why Brees didn't go downfield a whole lot. He looked but kept pulling the ball back because it wasn't there. Yet he still picked them apart. That's why he's the best in the league. Well, definitely top 5. No matter what Terry Bradshaw tells you.
7) I like how Shockey goes out with Payton to argue with the refs about having one second left at the end of the half. Like a bulky, tattooed sidekick who will as Chuck says "smear the queer."
PARTING SHOTS
Minkus and I are at the casino late Saturday night. I walk from the poker room to the slot machine he's playing.
Me: There's a jackpot over there.
Minkus: You hit the jackpot?
Me (pointing): No. For you. Six drunk Asian chicks.
Minkus: No dudes?
Me: Nope.
Minkus: Hold my spot.
Dad and I are in line for concessions at halftime of the Saints game.
Me: I don't think they have chicken tenders here.
Dad: It says chicken tender basket right there.
Me: Oh. I thought it said chicken tender breast.
Dad: Where's your head?
THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five midnight snacks.
5) Popcorn.
Microwave a bag and curl up with a movie. Or as I like to call it: Friday night.
4) Cheetos.
Makes my fingers all orange and stuff.
3) Fruit Loops.
So what if it's a breakfast food. I just eat 'em out of the bag.
2) Chips and dip.
I go with Tostitos and cheese dip.
1) Chocolate chip cookies.
With some milk. Makes my body feel good.
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