PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM

I would like to take this time and space to do a little gloating. Come on. You have to let me. I tell you about the times when I'm a complete idiot. I also get to tell you when I'm a certified genius. You can't spell genius without most of my name, right?

Back in April, I picked the Phillies to win the National League in the newspaper. You can go back and look it up. Now, you might not be too impressed with that. After all, the Phillies were good last year and won their division. Big whoop. Well, there were four other teams with better odds to win the World Series than Philly at the start of the season: Diamondbacks (who I picked to miss the playoffs), Cubs (choking dogs), the Mets (who I also picked not to make the playoffs) and the Dodgers (and that's not even with Manny).

When the playoffs started, I picked the Phillies to win the World Series. It might seem like an easy pick now that they've won it, but the Phils were not the consensus pick. Many people thought it was the Cubs' year. Or that Manny would lift the Dodgers. Or the Angels just had too much talent for anyone to handle. Or the Red Sox would defend their title. Then, people thought of the Phillies and the Rays as the next best teams in the playoffs.

So the Phillies had the fifth best odds in the NL to win the Series at the start of the season (and 11th best overall). Then, they were the fifth most likely of eight teams in the playoffs to win. Yet I stuck with those boys. When the World Serious (that's what my dad calls it) started, I, of course, stuck with the Phillies. I also predicted right here on The Gene Pool that they would defeat the Rays in five games. Damn, I am a genius. Crown my ass.

I'd like to give a special thanks now to all the Phillies for making me look so damn good. Jimmy Rollins for getting on base and causing havoc, Chase Utley for those sweet home run swings, Ryan Howard for that brilliant rhyming ode to the Subway sandwich, Shane Victorino for having the coolest nickname in the playoffs (The Flying Hawaiian) and Cole Hamels and Brad Lidge for holding down those hot Rays bats. I owe you guys.

Seriously though, all these dead-on baseball predictions means one of two things. 1) I'm that damn good and will continue to be. In which case, I'll pick the Cubs next year. or 2) I'm out of good picks and won't be right on a prediction again for at least five years. In which case, your 2009 World Series Champs: anyone but the Cubs.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom gets back from her dentist appointment, and I ask her how it went. "Pretty good." Then, a minute later. "My fucking teeth are falling out at the top."

Mom wants to get a new phone. She tries to check her minutes to see how many she has left on the current one. It won't give her the information. "I can't get my fucking minutes."

Mom tells me to check underneath my car for blades and knifes. She found two of them in the driveway earlier, probably courtesy of the people next door. "You see this. It was in our driveway. A fucking blade."

FOUR CORNERS
Some random stuff from my life.

-- Sandy tells me she's spreading Tina's concept of dick day. Her friend couldn't figure out why her husband decided not to go to work one day. Sandy told her it must have been dick day. Her friend was confused. Sandy sent her a link to the dick day blog, and she thought it was hysterical. Thanks for spreading the word, Sandy. I think dick day could become a common phrase if we all bond together. For example:

Person 1: Where is Tom? He was supposed to be here by now.
Person 2: Must be dick day.

-- I finished Ric Flair's book. Wooooo! Now on to the three-disc DVD. I'm also mailing him a copy of the Hornets special section. Hopefully, he writes me back.

-- I haven't had a mouse pad at the station I started working at in May. That changed last week when Kelly bought me a Dwight Schrute mouse pad for a buck at Target. What a gal. It has helped a lot. I feel that I've become as efficient a worker as Dwight.

-- JRap pointed out to me that my main item from last Tuesday's blog made me look like a slacker who just sits in front of the TV and doesn't move. That is only partially true. Most of the time, I am multi-tasking. I'm not just watching a show. I'm also eating or paying bills or doing stuff online or writing the blog or watching with friends or reading the paper or getting dressed for work or falling asleep or waking up or sometimes even watching two shows at once.

STAT OF THE WEEK. SOURCE: ME

I was looking at the standings today and noticed the Saints are the only .500 team in the National Football League. I thought that was interesting until I realized only eight teams have played an even number of games.

I went over the standings again to see how many teams are 3-4 or 4-3 and then looked at this week's schedule. If every game falls into place this weekend, we will be looking at 14 teams at .500 (4-4). That's half of the teams in the league. (Note: The four teams on bye next week will have played nine games after this week.) Parity, baby.

I guess that proves one other thing as well. The Saints are mediocre.

PARTING SHOTS
There is talk of worker #1 coming up with a World Series headline.

Worker #1: I was told not to be too cute anymore.
Worker #2: You don't have to worry about that.
Worker #3 (almost at the same time): That's never been a problem for you.

Retro quote: October 29, 2004
I'm explaining to Kelly Wheelahan that I got a concussion playing flag football at Loyola.

Kelly: "A concussion during flag football? That's not even tackle is it? What did you do, trip on a flag?

THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top five things that I don't spend money on that a lot of people do. There are some things I left off this list for legal reasons. I don't want to end up in jail or anything.

5) House phone.
Tina cancelled that a few years ago. We don't miss not getting calls from telemarketers and the such. If you want to call me, hit the cell.

4) Stuff in the T-P cafeteria.
I get popcorn for free. Water for free. And Skittles for five cents. That's basically free. I use Liam's nickels half the time anyway.

3) Movies.
When I was in seventh and eighth grade, I had this friend Brandon. His sister was a manager at the Palace. I got free tickets. Paul started working at the Palace in senior year of high school. I've been using him since.

2) Haircut.
My mom decided to start shaving my head when I was 10 because she figured she could do it herself. We're on our third shaver. But I haven't paid for a haircut in 15 years.

1) The Internet.
That should be free anyway.