COUCH POTATO

For the past several weeks, I've been off Tuesday and Wednesday (and once just Wednesday). Because I watch so much TV on Monday, that schedule usually puts me behind, leaving me to play catch-up for the rest of the week. This week, however, I was off Monday and Tuesday. 

By the end of Tuesday, I wasn't behind at all. In fact, I watched all 10 of my normally scheduled hours of primetime programming. And it's not like I was a hermit and didn't hang out with anybody. On Monday night, I went over to Minkus' house and watched Heroes.

Minkus picked up some Bud's Broiler for dinner, I brought some snacks and we took in the biggest twist I can remember seeing on television. Heck, I rewatched the show Tuesday. 

His mother then gave me a tour of their remodeled house. Yeah, the Minkus household was the only house in Harahan damaged during Katrina when a neighbor's tree, which was already dying, crashed into the living room. It took a while to fix, but it looks really nice. 

After we played a little Wii, I returned home to watch the rest of my Monday lineup. I didn't get to it all before Paul showed up at 1 a.m. to watch wrestling. I was close, though.

On Tuesday afternoon, I finished Monday programming, and then Kelly came over to watch House, which was filled with hot lesbian action. Kelly: "It figures the one time I come over here to watch House with you, there are girls kissing the whole time." I told her that the lesson learned from the episode is that girls kissing saves lives. Don't look at me. I'm just telling you what the show said.

Kelly then got into a typical brother-sister type fight with Paul on the phone. I swear I feel like their father when those two are in the same room. They could both use a good ass whipping. When Kelly scooted out, I finished the rest of the Tuesday shows. All in an off day's work. 

I even had time left over. Anyone want to recommend a new show?  

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

I tell my mom that I sat next to Shannon Elizabeth at Harrah's on Sunday night. "That's like her fucking, uh, fucking favorite past time." Then, we talk about her again later. "She's got some fucking legs on her."

Mom knocks on my door as I'm waking up at 4 p.m. Tuesday. "Don't you think this is fucking ridiculous?"

I tell mom that I was right about Stella not being the mother on How I Met Your Mother. "Of course she wasn't. That would be the end of the fucking show."

FOUR CORNERS

Some random notes

-- I passed 9,000 miles on my car the other day.

-- I can't believe how much play that video of the ref tackling the South Carolina quarterback against LSU is getting. I giggled when it first happened and made a joke about it in Saturday's blog. But the past few days I'm seeing that thing everywhere. I saw it on an ESPN College show. It was the lead video on yahoo.com Monday. Nick posted it on his blog. Where does it end?

-- I'm sticking with the Phillies in the World Series. Let's say in five. 

-- I have two friends dating a girl named Michelle. These things happen in threes. Who's the third going to be?

FANTASY FEVER

Another week. Two more losses. I can't remember the last time I want a fantasy matchup. Not even in my regular fantasies can I win right now. The Monday night game killed me in both matchups.

The Gene Poolers needed 16 points from Jay Cutler. In this league, two touchdown passes would basically seal the game. Or one touchdown and 250 yards would give me the win. New England had been getting scorched in the passing game. So what happened Monday? Cutler and the Broncos couldn't pass a third-grade math test. 

Even so, after the TD pass Cutler threw to start the fourth quarter, I just needed one more touchdown pass. It's not like the Pats were going to be trying too hard on defense with that huge lead. But Cutler still couldn't get it done. With Romo's status uncertain and Cutler now sucking, I picked up my fourth quarterback of the year: Matt Ryan.

The Dos Agateers needed a huge game from Sammy Morris on Monday night. I didn't have much faith in that, but at halftime, Morris had 138 yards a touchdown. In the second half, Morris only needed 13 yards and another score for us to win. So what happened? He didn't play in the second half with a knee injury. 

My teams are becoming the Saints of fantasy with all these injuries. 

PARTING SHOTS

Paul asks me if I saw what Antwan Hall's halftime stats were on Monday Night Football.

Me: Who is Antwan Hall?

Paul: A Denver running back.

Me: Oh. You mean Andre Hall.

Paul: Whatever. There are two A. Halls on their roster.

Me: Oh. The other 51 players are really nice guys?

Retro quote: October 21, 2004

Lisa is worried about attending a party/function with Danny and Gay Joe.

Lisa: Don't let me go on Friday by myself with them. I'll either catch the gay or catch the dork.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top 10 animated Disney movies.

10) Pinocchio. 1940.

Liar. Liar. Pants on fire. 

9) Bambi. 1942.

Probably the first movie that brought tears to my eyes.

8) The Little Mermaid. 1989.

Under the sea. Under the sea. Darling it's better, down where it's wetter.

7) Cinderella. 1950.

If I'm not home by midnight, ... Wait, I'm never home by midnight.

6) Pocahontas. 1995. 

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

5) Peter Pan. 1953.

You think Peter and Tinkerbell were hooking up off camera?

4) Alice in Wonderland. 1951.

If I ever get high, I'm putting this movie on. 

3) Aladdin. 1992.

Jasmine was my first sex symbol. 

2) The Lion King. 1994.

I still like to pause it to read the word "sex" on the screen. It's fun.

1) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. 1937.

I think D would agree with this pick. He whistles while he works.