ONLY FIVE GAMES LEFT IN THE SEASON. BOO!

1) Blowouts in March Madness suck. No fun at all. Only two out of eight Sweet 16 games weren't blowouts. Yuck. Fortunately, Saturday's Elite Eight games were much more intriguing.

2) You know what I love? When the tournament games Thursday and Friday were put into a smaller screen, so they could flash the bad weather threats. My favorite was one during the UNC-Gonzaga game that showed a tornado warning in Mississippi. Yeah, that helps me.

3) From the you-don't-know-me-too-well file.
I'm watching the first half of the UNC-Gonzaga on Friday night when Paul calls.

Me: Hello.
Paul: What's up?
Me: Watching the game.
Paul: Oh. Are you off?
Me: Yes.
Paul: You should have gone to Baton Rouge tonight. It's Kelly's birthday.

4) We're watching the Missou-UConn game at work Saturday. Missouri misses yet another 3-pointer.

Liam: Live by the 3. Die by the 3. It's their MO. Get it?

5) Boy, do they show the same commercials over and over during this tournament, or what? I feel like I'm going to start seeing these ads in my sleep. That's not a good thing.

Enterprise Rent-A-Car: a) Wife: Black or red? Husband: Both. b) Mom: They pick us up. Sounds expensive. Son: Pickup's free, mom.

Taco bell: One guy: We can get nachos at the game. Other guy: What? For like six bucks?

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

Mom knocks on my door as I'm waking up and watching TV.
Mom: You leaving in three fucking days. You ain't done shit. (Actually, it's five days.)
Me: I have a long list of things to do. I'm actually making progress.
Mom: How bout going and getting a fucking pair of shoes?

Mom watches some court case on Tru TV. She yells at a criminal: "You leave fingerprints on duct tape, dumbass."

As I'm packing for work, mom asks me a question. I answer it. "Wait. I had another question. Now, I can't remember. Fuck, what was the other question?"

Mom recapped all she read in the paper to me.
-- On Seven Pounds coming out Tuesday: "Like that was a fucking good movie."
-- On something she was looking for to show me: "I know I fucking read it somewhere."
-- On Nagin calling the T-P the worst: "What an asshole."
-- On the girl who did the credit card scam at a restaurant. "She's in the courtroom, and she's sitting next to fucking rapists, criminals, burglaries."
-- On the places where the credit card scammers spent the money: "IHOP, Party City. That's fucking funny."
-- On the French Quarter incident: "Did you see this? A fire, and 800 people lost power in the fucking French Quarter."
-- On the worker who took some crawfish from his work and sold it on the side. "That's fucking funny."

PARTING SHOTS
I'm reading the LSU baseball story, and it says that a guy fouled off two pitchers. I read this to the group.

Liam: I've flipped off a couple of pitchers.
Bake: Finished off a couple of pitchers.

Max tells me the Rockets won.

D: The Rockets are hot.
Liam: Hot Rockets! ... Sorry, I just had to say it. I think I need to go home now. (Try Lean Rockets, too.)

Someone sends in track results with the top 20 finishers in each category, instead of the top three.

Max: I mean, what publication is that going into? It sounds like someone played a cruel joke on whoever had to type that up.
Liam: War and Peace: The Track results edition.

D is about to leave work.

D: What you doing over there, JRap?
JRap: Messing around.
D: Does Marion know that?

THE DAILY TOP LIST
I've done several slogan lists, including for candy bars, cars, beer and fast food. This top five is for the rest of the slogans in existence that didn't fall into a previous category.

5) The quicker, thicker, picker upper. Bounty.
So catchy. I've been saying it over and over since I thought of putting it on here. Get out of my head!

4) Friends don't let friends drive drunk. U.S. Dept. of Transportation.
I've had to fit this bill once, and it wasn't a pretty scene. It actually took three of us to stop him because he was pretty insistent on driving home. Two people grabbed him, while the other secured his keys. He thanked us later.

3) All the news that's fit to print. The New York Times.
Oh, simpler times.

2) Wanna get away? Southwest Airlines.
Great series of commercials. I think the one where the guy throws the remote threw the TV is the best.

1) So easy a caveman can do it. GEICO.
Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the rock.