MY FIRST TICKET IN 5 AND A HALF YEARS

One day last week, Derry and I arrived to work at the same time. In the parking lot, I made fun of the new "Customer Parking" signs, saying, "This company's all worried about saving money, and yet they paid to put up these new signs that everyone ignores." 

The parking spaces in front of the building are meant to be reserved for customers only. That might be all well and good during the day, but when I get there right after 4 p.m., I don't think it matters that I park in one of these spots. The parking lot ain't full, yo. Besides, these type of signs have always been there (not just the new ones), and I've ignored them for years. 

As we headed into the building, Derry agreed with me and then added something I didn't know. "Yeah. About one week a year, they get all high and almighty and start writing tickets for the workers who park in those spaces. They're bullshit tickets. It goes on your file, but I just throw them away." 

Me: And nothing happens?

Derry: No. A week later, they stop doing it. 

How lame. Still, I've parked in the customer parking spots almost every shift since. After all, they are really close to the building. Who wants to walk a ways to get to the door? 

On Tuesday, Derry comes back up from break. "Remember when I told you about those bullshit tickets?" 

Me: Yeah.

Derry: I just got one. (He shows me.) 

Hmm, I thought. I parked in a customer parking spot today. I immediately headed downstairs to see if I got one. Indeed I did. My very own T-P parking violation ticket. How special. 

Derry and I received tickets from different officers. Mine wrote down my license plate, checked off "in customer parking zone" in a little box and noted that it was my first offense. Derry's did none of that and made a mistake in the note. "This is a customer only parking area from 7 pm to 6 pm Mon-Fri." 

Huh? It's parking for customers only from 7 p.m. to 6 p.m.? So I can park there for one hour and then have to move my car? Are they expecting customers in the middle of the night? Oh. You think the officer meant 7 a.m.? I see. 

Obviously, I'm not concerned with this "ticket." The question is: Do I have the balls to keep parking in the customers only spaces? Only time will tell.   

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom walks into my room. "Just lovely. Makes my fucking day." 

Mom is putting together a list for me to make her a mix CD. 

Mom: What's that Maroon 5 song? The one with fuck in it? 

Me: Makes Me Wonder. 

Mom: Yeah. I love that song. 

As I'm typing this entry at 1:30 a.m., mom walks through the house. Before returning to bed, she notices I left the door unlocked. "Someone could come in here and rape me, and he wouldn't give a shit." 

FOUR CORNERS

A closer look at The Gene Pool World.

-- The other day I discovered a search option in the postings section of the blog. Type something into the search, and it tells you in how many entries that item has been used. For instance, before this entry, "Tina" has been used in 235 postings. "Fucking ridiculous" 17 times. Paul had been used 136 times, though that counts my friend and the Hornets guard. 

T-P top 3 rankings:

Marcus: 112.

Jelly: 104.

Lopes: 91. 

-- There is a new guy in charge of cleaning the building. This sucks. So far, he's done two cleanings of the floors that required him to put up warning signs. And how many mistakes did he make in those signs? Zip. Zero. Zilch. 

The last person was good for at least one funny mistake per sign. I miss putting items on the blog mocking the cleaning people. Damn it. There I go hating on the cleaning people again. 

-- Somebody needs to be fired at CST. It's one thing for them not to broadcast the LSU-Vandy game live and instead show an LSU softball game. Maybe there's an explanation for that. I was perfectly content Wednesday to wait for CST to broadcast on tape delay, two hours behind. 

I figured it would be easy to avoid seeing the score for two hours. It was. So, I'm watching the beginning of the game, and what do they flash at the bottom of the screen? You guessed it. The final score of the game I was watching. Thanks a lot, assholes. Couldn't someone at the station have deleted that final from the flashing scoreboard? 

-- In a previous blog, I talked about how my physics teacher Mr. Lebon hated me senior year and took points off my average for no reason. Well, here's a story of how I fought back a little. 

On this date (March 4) in 2002, Mr. Lebon started class this way: "Does anyone know what today is?" (No response to that stupid question from the class.)

Mr. Lebon: No one? Well, it's March 4. And does anyone know the significance of this date? 

(No response again.)

Mr. Lebon: Well, it's March 4. It's the only date on the calendar that's a command. Get it? March fourth. Isn't that cool? 

(I raise my hand.)

Mr. Lebon. Yes, Gene. 

Me: That's not true. 

Mr. Lebon: What do you mean?

Me: Uh, everyday in March is a command. Granted, March 4th is the only well-known command. But March fifth is a command, too. If there's a line of people, you can be told to march fifth. As in march fifth in the line. Same thing for March 22nd and so on. 

Mr. Lebon: I think you're missing the point, Gene. It's an interesting tidbit. 

I bet he took a point off my average for showing his ass up. 

PARTING SHOT

Before I headed downstairs Tuesday to retrieve my ticket, I put on my jacket. I struggle. 

Marcus: Why don't you unzip it first?

Derry: That's something you don't hear in the office everyday. 

(And that's also what Ted said.) 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

Besides Nintendo, I've done most of my video playing with the Sega and Playstation 2. My top five games from those systems. 

5) Sonic the Hedgehog. 

Love the sound it makes when you collect rings. 

4) NBA Jam. 

With the right code, you can play as Bill Clinton. 

3) WWF Raw.  

I'd hate to admit this, but I bought a companion VHS tape that tells you secret codes and strategies. 

2) Mortal Kombat. 

I wonder if I can still beat it. 

1) 24: The Game. 

Takes place between Seasons 2 and 3. I stopped terrorists from causing a big-time earthquake in Los Angeles. Though I did die about 1,000 times before getting to the end.