WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF MADNESS? ANSWER: SADNESS.

Bob called me at the beginning of Thursday's games.

Bob: What are you doing? 

Me: Watching the games.

Bob: Want to watch the games over here?

Me: Sure. 

I got there at 7:45. Bob was sound asleep. Apart from a few mumblings, Bob didn't stir until I was leaving at 10:45. I'm sure he will apologize profusely for this the next time I talk to him. In advance, Bob, it's no big deal. Onto Thursday's action. 

1) Jay Bilas is good. Me like him. I do think it's funny, however, that he says this phrase once a game: "Best time to shoot a 3 is after an offensive rebound." He says it every game after the first time a team makes a 3 immediately after securing an offensive rebound. 

So, when Purdue did this Thursday night, I said: Wait for it. And right on cue, Bilas said his line. It's pretty much true. It's just funny that he says it like a robot. 

2) I had Xavier in my Elite Eight. They almost beat Pittsburgh. They just needed the court to be six inches longer. (That's what Ted said.) That's all. Damn you, Mr. Fields. You and your clutch 3-pointer. 

3) A Missouri player had a 3-pointer taken away from him because he had a toe on the line toward the end of the first half. Moments later with the half winding down, the same player launched a shot from three-quarters court. 

Chuck (with the shot in mid-air): Now, that's a 3. 

The shot swished. Amazing. Chuck's a prophet. 

4) Boo to AT&T at the half. They went to this program twice Thursday during halftime of the main game, and both times I was pissed. I don't want to hear them talk about one game when another game is currently happening. Just skip the halftime show crap and jump straight to the other game. 

So simple. Jeez, CBS, do I have to do everything for you? 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER 

During her six-month diet, my mom, who has lost 46 pounds, has been in an ongoing struggle not to fall back into her old eating habits. I learned this after asking her why she ate some Doritos. "I have a constant craving. So, I eat a few chips here and there, so I don't eat the whole fucking bag." 

Mom isn't happy about driving tomorrow in the possible bad weather. "I got to go out to Severn where it fucking floods." 

Mom is watching a soap opera. She believes some relationship has no chance of working. "They come from two different backgrounds. Ain't no fucking way. No way in hell." 

Mom cancelled her taping of Oprah during the show for whatever reason. The red recording button didn't go away, however. "What the fuck?" 

Mom: You watch Life on Mars?

Me: No. We can't.

Mom: Why?

Me: It didn't record. Says error. 

Mom: That always fucking happens. 

I'm watching the first episode of disc 2 of Season 2 of Lost. 

-- On Hurley calling a girl dude. "Who the fuck he thinks he's talking to?" 

-- On Ana Lucia. "Who the fuck came up with that name?"

-- On me putting the ottoman on my knee and resting my chin on the top of it. "What the fuck are you doing?" 

PARTING SHOT

Joe the Security Guard stopped by the dinner table Wednesday night, as usual. 

Joe: Hey, Jelly. ... And gentleman. 

Brick: What about Gene?

Joe: Gene?

Brick (pointing at me): Yeah. Gene.

Joe: I thought his name was Chris. 

Me: I go by both.

Derry: Sometimes we just call him ChrisGene.

Joe (walking away): OK. ChrisGene it is. 

(I'm the last one to leave the dinner table. Joe stops me on my way back upstairs.)

Joe: Seriously. Do you want to go by Chris or Gene?

Me: Whatever you want.

Joe: I'll go with Chris then. Cuz you look like a Chris. You don't look like a Gene. 

THE DAILY TOP LIST

Paul and I have an idea for a movie. It's called Birthday Boy, and basically, the main character wakes up every morning on the day of his next birthday. 

20) Anchorman. 2004.

I was in a glass case of emotion trying to decide which line to use here. 

19) Pirates of the Caribbean. 2003.

I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically. 

18) Independence Day. 1996.

Just more than 100 days from another city-saving viewing.  

17) Passion of the Christ. 2004. 

Among other tidbits, I learned that Jesus made the first table. 

16) Men in Black. 1997. 

The good guys dress in black. Remember that. 

Just in case we ever face to face and make contact.