THE DAILY TOP LIST

My top five road trips to sporting-type events, as I prepare for a trip to Houston next week. 

5) Where? Atlanta. 

For? Two Cubs-Braves games.

When? April 2007.

With who? Doug. 

The highlights: a) It was a cheap trip. I had just come back from vacation in Detroit two weeks before, so I didn't want to spend a lot. I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ordered Chinese to the hotel once. 

b) I saw Big Z pitch for the second time in my life. Both outings were ugly. I think I make him nervous. 

c) We were joined at one game by a childhood friend of mine that worked with Doug. He grew up down the street, but I hadn't hung out with him in 10 years. 

d) I gave an interview to some Atlanta station about the curse on the Cubs. I said (in my profound voice) that the curse was all too real, but that it could be broken. I also said that 2007 could be the year even though the Cubs had started slow. No evidence of that interview on Youtube, unfortunately.  

4) Where? Orlando.

For? WrestleMania 24.

When? March 2008.

With who? Paul.

The highlights: a) Hanging out at Universal Studios for two days.  

b) Winning a stuffed Tar Heel at Universal Studios. It took me $20, but damn it, I made the shot. Guess what I named the Tar Heel? Duh. Tyler. 

c) There are three bigger highlights, but they all go on a list next week. Stay tuned. 

3) Where? Dallas. 

For? Hornets-Mavs playoff game.

When? April 2008. 

With who? Lopes and his friend.

The highlights: a) Lopes and I were talking early in the week. We were joking about attending Game 3 of the series in Dallas when we both realized: Hey, why not? Lopes got the tickets pretty cheap. We both happened to be off Friday. Bingo. Bango. We were off on Friday afternoon. 

b) Lopes got a ticket for going 10 miles over the speed limit on the way to Dallas. That sucked. 

c) American Airlines Arena is like walking into a sophisticated movie theatre. It's awesome. 

d) There was some harassment from the Dallas fans.

1) We got the bird shot at us on the walk to the building.

2) A Mavs fan basically fell onto Lopes while we were sitting. He tried to say he slipped, but we knew that was bullshit. 

3) They threw popcorn at us, and I think Lopes' friend kept getting the back of his seat kicked.

4) There was a "New Orleans sucks" chant and a "Fuck New Orleans" chant in our section.

4) Lopes watched the fourth quarter from the hallway to prevent himself from retaliation. 

e) We didn't need a hotel room. Instead, we drove to Houston after the game and crashed at the house of one of Lopes' relatives. That was nice. 

2) Where? Houston. 

For? Two Cardinals-Astros games. 

When? Summer 1991. 

With who? My dad and three friends.

The highlights: a) My friend Daniel almost got a foul ball. It landed a few seats from us, and he pounced toward the ball. The seats where it landed were empty, but as Daniel went to grab the ball, an older gentleman snatched it away. He saw Daniel yet refused to give up the ball to a 7-year-old. Asshole. 

b) My dad found out where the Cardinals were staying, and we hung around there one afternoon seeking autographs. The big prize, of course, was Ozzie Smith, but he was nowhere to be found. 

Finally, dad saw him leaving the building. He ran Ozzie down and caught him as he was about to get into a limo with his family. My dad said something to Ozzie, and before you knew it, the Wizard himself walked over to me, took my ball, signed it, handed it back, touched my head and said: "Work hard kid." 

c) During another day in Houston, my dad made the mistake of letting four 7-year-olds loose in a big hotel. We wreaked a little havoc. We ran around the lobby and hit the emergency button on the elevator as we were exiting. 

Then, a few minutes later, we did it again. And again. Soon, we were running from security. Yeah, dad wasn't too happy when they caught us and returned us to our room. 

1) Where? Atlanta.

For? Cubs-Braves playoff game.

When? October 2003.

With who? Little Joe and Matt Johnson. 

The highlights: a) Uh, the Cubs won their first playoff series since 1908 by beating the Braves in Game 5 on a Sunday night. I bought a T-shirt as I was leaving that says I was there for this historic moment. 

b) We stopped at a Waffle House on the way back. 

c) Game 4 was Saturday night, and the Cubs would clinch with a win. Little Joe had bought the tickets for Game 5 just in case. I told Joe I wasn't sold on the idea of going. But after the Cubs lost on Saturday night, I changed my mind. 

I left work on Saturday night and went to Little Joe's dorm room. He woke me up at like 6 a.m., and we were off to Atlanta. We hung out around the stadium and ate across the street, as we arrived early.

After the incredible victory, we drove straight home. After all, we had classes to attend Monday. With the stop at Waffle House, we got back to campus at 8:15 a.m. I had an 8:30 class. I hadn't been home since Saturday at 3:30 p.m. 

So, I walked into class with the same clothes I put on Saturday afternoon. I had no books. No paper. Just a pen and my memories. 

d) Little Joe and I took a picture outside the stadium before the game with both of us looking stoic, as we both knew something historic was about to happen. It's my all-time favorite picture. 

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

The storms early Friday morning had a small impact on us. "Fucking got wet in the corner. Shit. I thought it was fixed." We put a fan there to dry the corner of the dining room where some water leaked in. A little while later: "Fucking water." 

Mom is aware other people got it worse. "People sweeping water out their fucking houses." 

Mom walks into my room. Of course, she cries disaster. "There's a fucking disc on the wrong side on the floor in here." (Big deal. It's fine.)

I tell mom that Tom Hanks and Kevin Costner passed on the role of Andy in Shawshank. "What assholes. Did you hear they remaking the Three Stooges?" 

Me: With who?

Mom: Jim Carrey has to put on 40 fucking pounds to play Moe.   

Mom is out on the patio and looks at the backyard. "We put all that tape on the fucking goal (to plug a hole) for nothing. Birds come and rip it up and then fly off with a piece." 

I watched the third disc of Season 2 of Lost on Friday afternoon. 

-- On Ana Lucia: "Whoever the fuck came up with that name."  

-- On the hatch: "How come only a certain few get to sleep in the fucking bed?" 

-- On Jack's attitude in the jungle. "Jack's a fucking loose cannon." 

PARTING SHOT

Late Wednesday, I run into Joe the Security Guard in the cafeteria. 

Joe: Hey, Chris. You doing good?

Me: Yep.

Joe: You like the Hornets?

Me: Yep.

Joe: They have a game tonight?

Me: Yep. 

Joe: They pretty good, huh?

Me: Yep.

Joe: You know, Chris. With you it's always yep. 

Me: Yep.