WHERE ART THOU WATER BOTTLE?

One minute, my water bottle (empty at the time) was lying next to me on my desk Monday night. A few minutes later, I decided to go downstairs to fill it up. But it was gone. I checked everywhere I was in the past few minutes. No water bottle. Then, I noticed a cleaning person finishing up in the area.

I'm almost positive he put my water bottle in the trash. Maybe it had fallen on the ground, and maybe he just picked it up off the desk because it was empty and threw it away. Either way, I am pissed. I need that water, and they're only supposed to throw away stuff in the actual garbage containers. Ugh.

I did check some of the trash bags he threw to the side while he wasn't looking. (Didn't see my bottle.) But I didn't accuse him directly. The last time I did that I made a fool of myself.

My iPod was missing for like two months about a year ago, and I basically started an investigation against a cleaning person, who was clearly on crack or something. I accused him of stealing it to management. It was a whole thing. Then two months later, my iPod was found under my desk. You know, where I dropped it.

Man, it seems like I really have something against the cleaning people. I don't, but I do wish they didn't come cleaning through here while I'm trying to work. There's something weird about that.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

At 4 a.m. Monday morning, I'm lying in bed watching Cheers. The Playstation remote is far away by the TV. My mom bangs on the door and starts asking me a question about text messaging. She can't talk over Norm Peterson, however. "Can you pause that please? Are you that fucking rude?"

Mom had a bad Netflix disc last week. When they replaced it, however, the replacement counted as one of our two discs. That ain't right. We should have gotten a replacement disc plus our next one in the mail. Now, I'm behind and feel like I'm wasting money. "Looks like things get fucked when you get a bad disc. That's fucked."

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that Bobby Jindal is insensitive to volcanic activity? Did you know the stock market keeps plunging more and more every day? Did you know Britney is in town for a big concert Tuesday? Did you know Jimmy Fallon made his late night debut Monday? (He was so-so.) Did you know that March Madness is approaching?

PARTING SHOTS
A worker in the cafeteria spills popcorn all over the place.

Other co-worker (coming out the back): Michelle, who spilled the popcorn?
Michelle (pointing at me): He did.

Bake was having trouble logging onto the system Monday. We return from dinner, and Fiegel is working on it.

Phil: All right. Now, we're getting some action.
Fiegel: Don't look at me and say you're getting some action.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My five all-time favorite magazines.

5) ESPN the Magazine.
It's so big. (That's what Ted said.)

4) Highlights.
Used to love the page where you searched for items.

3) Playboy.
I read it for the articles.

2) WWE Magazine.
I should work there.

1) Sports Illustrated.
That sucks now, right?