THE DAILY TOP LIST
The top five games I played on my street or in front of my house as a kid.

5) Golf.
Ball = tennis ball. Club = baseball bat. There was only one hole, which was basically making the tennis ball hit the fire hydrant across the street. There were still 18 holes, though. Just 18 holes in the cement of my circular driveway where I started.

It was played like like putt-putt, as regards keeping the ball on the ground. Each hole in the cement presented different angles to hit the ball to get it onto and across the street. I played this game by myself.

4) Wire Ball.
My dad taught me and some friends this one from when he was a kid. The player "batting" stands underneath the telephone pole line in the driveway with a tennis ball. The "fielder" stands in the grass adjacent to the street underneath the telephone pole line. You can play for as many innings as you want.

The batter throws the ball at the telephone pole line. A straight-on direct hit is a home run. If the ball hits the line on the way down, it's a double. If it hits any of the lines that's not closest to the ground, it's an out. If it misses everything and lands in the driveway, it's an out. If it misses everything and lands in the grass, it's a single, but the fielder can catch it for an out.

After we got good enough, we played one out per inning. I retired as undefeated champion.

3) Street football.
The kids just don't do this anymore. Sad. Sad. Sad.

2) Speedskating.
All the kids in the neighborhood got big into skating when I was about eight. Eventually, we made eight courses that you could test your speed on. We kept the all-time records for each course. Most of them involved sidewalks, going around trees, crossing the street and my driveway.

The first one was the most popular and the only one I really remember. You start at the fire hydrant (the hole for my golf game), cross the street and get onto my sidewalk. Then you glide around the sidewalk curve (the main attraction of the course), pass in front of my door and reach my driveway. You go straight down the driveway headed back to the street and dash for the finish line at the hydrant.

You were allowed a running start, either by skating down the neighbor's driveway or running through the grass before reaching the fire hydrant. This was all the rage in the neighborhood for six straight months.

I wonder if I could beat the record right now. I think it was like 16.2 seconds.

1) Street hockey.
When I was 12, we formed a street hockey team: The Carolyn Drive AirHawks. Oh yeah. And we were just as badass as the name suggests. Our home "rink" was in a cul-de-sac to avoid traffic stoppages. So, technically the Carolyn Drive AirHawks didn't play on Carolyn Dr., but we all lived on Carolyn Drive, so shut up.

There were several other streets around Harahan and River Ridge with similar outfits, and we formed a pseudo-league. There were no standings or anything, but we scheduled games as often as possible. As you might expect, we were the best around town. I'm pretty sure we never lost.

We had two really good players. (One of which ended up being a big shot at Airline Skate Center a few years later.) They controlled the flow of the action. And I wasn't a bad third option. Sort of like Toni Kukoc on those late 90s Bulls teams. Our goalie was fairly fat and covered up well, even though we didn't really need him that much.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

Early Thursday afternoon, my mom let out her classic, "What the fuck?" three times. 1) When turning on the TV. 2) When opening a piece of mail, which was preceded by "Whoa!" and 3) When opening a bottle of pills.

Mom and I then went to Dockside for lunch. On the way there, mom sees a cop. "You should see the fucking cops I pass on the way to River Ridge. Today it was three Harahan cops, a J.P. and a state trooper."

Mom goes to River Ridge five days a week now for tanning. The one in Elmwood pissed her off recently. She started tanning again in late December and was able to use her leftover membership months from 2004. "I'd hate to see the new prices. Probably fucking ridiculous. But I do use the shit out of that thing."

At lunch, mom is confused about the missing football players. "What the fuck football players doing out there anyway? Shouldn't that be in their contracts?" (I say something about the coverage of the story.) "Fucking media."

Back at home, mom is mad about some reruns earlier this week. "Fucking shows. They don't have enough (material) to put on new ones."

PARTING SHOTS

Brick is reading about new Saints fullback Heath Evans.

Brick: It seems like Heath Evans is pretty smart.
Me: Anytime you can add a former Dolphin to your team, you got to take advantage.
JRap: Why? Cause he has a blowhole?

Marcus messages me on AIM from the Hornets game and says that he needs to apologize to me.

Me: For?
Marcus: I found someone shorter than you.
Me: Who?
Marcus: Lil' Wayne. You can eat soup off his head.
(I read this aloud to the group.)
Sandy: There goes Marcus. Always thinking about eating.

JRap is wondering out loud.

JRap: Why is blue true?
Liam: Cause red's dead.