TICKETS PLEASE

On Monday, I went to my 14th Hornets game of the season. I already had decided to cheer for the Hornets against the Rockets when I got this text message from Lopes: Yao out.
Me (scared he meant for the season): Of?
Lopes: Tonight. He got the flu. We heard it was the Asian flu.
(Bake passes by Tuesday night and reads the previous line. Bake: That was my line.)
Figures.

After I waited seven minutes in a short will call line for the tickets, I met up with Kelli and Stephen. We begin walking toward the entrance, and I hand them their tickets.

Kelli: I thought they were playing the Rockets.
Me (confused): They are.
Kelli: This says Timberwolves.

I look down at my ticket. Sure enough. Wednesday, March 18. vs. the Timberwolves. Son of a ... I return to the ticket office and get in the season-ticket holder line. I explain to the woman that I bought Rockets tickets, but I was given Timberwolves tickets instead. She begins working on it.

Eight minutes later, she comes back to the window with three Rockets tickets.
Worker: You have to pay for these tickets now.
Me: No. I don't.
Worker: Oh. You don't want the tickets for Wednesday?
Me (handing them to her): No. (Why would I get in line at will call when it's crazy busy 15 minutes before a game to pick up tickets for another game two days later?)

Because the Hornets were claiming a sellout at 4 p.m., I was worried about not being able to get Rockets tickets. After all, they had the wrong tickets waiting for me at will call. How can I exchange them for Monday tickets if they already sold out?

Sellout implies no tickets are left. Yet, they gave me three unbought tickets at 7 p.m. Confusing, I know. But as you may have figured out by now, Hornets sellouts usually are bullshit.

A look at the Rockets huddle during a timeout. It sort of felt weird not cheering for Clutch City, but when you got two dogs in the fight, you got to pick one, ya heard? I blew it, though. At the first Hornets-Rockets game this year, I cheered for the Rockets. The Hornets won. Monday night, I hooped and hollered for the Wasps. Houston won. Doh.

I have a bad feeling they'll be matched up in the first round of the playoffs. Heaven forbid.

The new tickets were $10 more. At first, this was exciting news. Sure, they screwed up my ticket order, but at least we ended up with a seat upgrade for free. Though I would have preferred an upgrade to the lower bowl.

However, the more expensive tickets weren't as good as the $25 ones. Instead of the fifth row in section 313, we were in the 19th row of section 314, which is one section closer to the middle. I would gladly exchange being one section closer to the corner in order to move down 14 rows.

And not have this thing in the way. I understand safety first and all, but does it have to be that much? Can't it be a clear glass? Or not as high? Or just one bar? Or maybe someone could have constructed the building better.

Besides hanging out with Kelli and Stephen (sorry I dragged you to a loss), my favorite part of the night was one of the messages on the big screen. Most of these messages (I'm thinking about buying space for the site) say "Happy Birthday" or "I love you." Yada. Yada. Yada.

But one sign said this: "Christina, don't take no wooden nickels from nobody at boot camp. From Randle." Now, that's entertainment.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER

My mom is watching Dancing with the Stars.
-- Mom disagrees with a score. "Six? Bullshit."
-- Mom disagrees with another score. "These fucking judges."

Mom looks at the NCAA brackets I have all over the kitchen counter. "What the fuck's going on here?"

Mom is watching a soap opera. Two teenagers run away from home to get married. The judge displays hesitation. "Ain't no fucking way he doesn't marry them if the laws of his state say they can get married."
Me: Maybe he takes his power to marry seriously.
Mom: A fucking judge?

Mom tells me that Charlie Sheen's wife just gave birth to twins. "Now, she has five fucking kids!"

PARTING SHOTS
We're in a meeting. Obits are brought up.

D: I don't plan on dying on a Monday. That's my day off.

I announce that the new style of doing the news in brief takes up 25 percent more space.

Jelly: So, we're actually getting less news in the paper.
Bake: That's progress.

THE DAILY TOP LIST
My top five memories of the opening round of the NCAA Tournament.

5) 2007.
The first time I wasn't in school during March Madness and watched the early games from my couch.

4) No. 14 Northwestern State 64, No. 3 Iowa 63. 2006.
I watched this one from the Maroon office. I was 15 minutes late for a class that day.
Professor: Why are you late?
Me: I was watching the tournament.
Professor: Oh. OK. Is Boston College winning?

3) No. 14 Weber State 76, No. 3 UNC 74. 1999.
I'd rather not talk about it.

2) No. 5 Florida 69, No. 12 Butler 68. OT. 2000.
Great game. Great finish. Then they got to the finals.

1) No. 13 Valparaiso 70, No. 4 Ole Miss 69. 1998.
Bryce Drew didn't recreate this magic with the Hornets. Sad.