THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL GAME 

The Internet wasn't working at my house Saturday afternoon. I was supposed to pick my dad up at 4:50 p.m. to go to the Hornets pregame party before the home opener against the LeBrons. I was trying to start the blog and make my NFL picks in the TP pool. I finally gave up at 5:05. I call my dad on the way to tell him I'm almost there.

Dad: Why are you coming so early?

Me: Because we're going to see the Top Cats before the game, remember?

Dad: Yeah. But it's only 4:15.

Me: No. It's 5:15. Did you think daylight savings was today?

Dad: My alarm clock did.

We got to the pregame party at 5:45 p.m. Last year, the party outside the Arena had an open area with a stage for the band and some games on the side for the kiddies. I was greeted Saturday by a mock street with a Passion, Purpose, Pride gate and a castle. 

I hope this crap isn't permanent. It took up too much space and made it harder to maneuver in the crowd. It kind of looks nice, but it is way out of place at these parties. 

Did you know that Andrew Jackson was a Hornets fan? I didn't. I guess everybody wants to jump on the bandwagon. I don't get the point of the castle. Can anyone explain this to me? The Hornets are trying to claim the title as king of the NBA and will need a place to live?

 
My dad nudges me and points over to the right. It was Hornets owner George Shinn. Look I even got Shinn to pose for a picture for the site. Actually, that kids' mom got him to pose. I don't think it mattered, though. George likes to pose for pictures. He really does.

Shinn walked around the Hornets pregame party (not that I followed him or anything) and randomly walked up to people and shook their hand. Nobody approached him (save this kids' mom). He just patted people on the shoulder to get their attention and then thanked them for their support. Creepy and sad or active and lovable? You be the judge.

If he had come up to me, I would have told him to get rid of the ridiculous decoration at the pregame party. Why can't they just keep it simple? One successful year, and they got to go and do everything bigger. Ugh. 

Also, Shinn gave a speech from the Arena floor before the game. He has a new catchphrase. I'm almost positive he got it from Bake's headline in the T-P on a story about how Shinn prayed and was told by God to bring the team back to New Orleans. Bake's headline was: Bee-lieve. (Even though Hornets aren't bees, I still liked that one because of the whole Shinn had faith thing.) So Shinn says three times in his speech: Do you bee-lieve? Thanks a lot, Bake. 

The Top Cats played nothing but hip-hop. I thought they were an old rock cover band. I didn't enjoy the concert. Bunch of white boys screaming skeet skeet skeet. It ended nicely, though. The Honeybees got up there and danced. Oh hot damn, this was their jam. 

The Hornets are so popular there was a waiting line just to get into the team store an hour before the game started. I don't think the Wasps are worried about the declining economy.

I was walking in the store. A middle-aged couple in front of me is thumbing through jersey shirts. The wife asks, "Who is No. 6?" The husband doesn't have the answer. Who is No. 6? Give me a break. You're at the home opener to kickoff an historic season, and you don't know who No. 6 is? You have to know No. 3, No. 6 and No. 30. Is that too much too ask?

This is a different couple. The guy there called me an asshole. I avoided a confrontation by pretending I didn't hear him and not making eye contact. Here's what happened. 

There were two checkout lines. I was second in my line. The guy in front of me had a problem, and he was taking forever. This couple was behind me. After the third person in the other line had finished as the guy in front of me was still checking out, the guy in the picture slides over into the other line. The girl does the same, and they become second in that line.

The fourth person in the other line then checks out while I'm still stuck at being second in my line. I'm frustrated. I look behind me and notice that the lines have formed into one. That made sense. One line. As each register opens, the next person goes. So, when that fourth person checked out in the other line, I made a quick decision and cut in front of the couple.

That's when he called me an asshole. I felt like saying, "Look buddy. You cut over into this line first. I've been stuck behind this guy for like 15 minutes. Did I mention you cut first?"

This is what I bought at the store. A new Chris Paul home jersey. I'm not a big fan of the new road uniforms. I'm just not fond enough of the color to have it take up a whole jersey. But I really like the home uniforms. Of course, the Hornets wore the road uniforms for the home opener. Yeah, that makes sense. 

This vendor was parked outside my section. During the game, he appeared on the steps trying to sell beer. He said the same thing over and over. But it was a clever phrase. I almost bought a beer just because I liked his gimmick. He kept yelling: "Get your buzz on." Get it? By drinking enough beer, you can get a buzz. Plus, bees (though the nickname is Hornets) make a buzzing sound.

Speaking of concessions, the Hornets increased prices all over the place. Parking at the Dome went up from $10 to $15. The big beer is $9, which I'm sure is an increase. I bought nachos at $7. Nachos used to be $5. My goal is get something different to eat at every game I attend. Stay tuned.

Here's a look at the new court from my section. With the new logo and color scheme, I felt like I was in a different building than the one in which I watched the Spurs end the 2008 season. Look, I got David West (just outside the lane) in mid-shot. I wonder if that had anything to do with him missing so many easy shots Saturday.

THE TINA CURSING CORNER  

 

My mom tells me something about Jessica Simpson.

Me: Did you know she came out with her own fragrance?

Mom: Every one's coming out with their own fucking fragrance.

SPOILER ALERT! Mom is watching Baby Mama. "She's not even fucking pregnant."

Mom tells me about a story she read in the paper a few weeks ago. A guy stole a purse from some one's front seat and then used a credit card from the purse to buy Saints tickets to the Raiders game. The idiot criminal then sits in the same seat of the ticket he bought. The credit card company gives the seat to the cops, and the cops arrest the guy. 

Me: And you know what the moral of that story is?

Mom: Yeah. The moral of the story is: Don't leave your purse on the front seat of the fucking car.

TV WEEK IN REVIEW

Best romantic moment: House. The moment I've been waiting for since the first season. House and Cuddy making out. Let's see where this goes.

Best guest star: Tony Hale. Chuck. Samantha Who? Good old Buster from Arrested Development was all over my TV on Monday night. He's a new boss on Chuck. He was a doctor on Samantha Who? Both characters were awfully similar to Buster. Did I complain? I think not.

Best Departed reference: Heroes. You know how in the Departed there was a double agent in the police department and in the mob? That's what we got going on here. Daphne is a double agent pretending to be with the good guys; Sylar is a double agent pretending to be bad.

This week's rant: 30 Rock. I'm the happiest person in the world that the 30 Rock premiere has come and gone. I don't have to see anymore promos for it. I'm free. I'm free. I watch a good bit of NBC programming, and the damn network acted like that was the only show they have. I also watch digital clips on nbc.com, and it's nothing but 30 Rock promos in those commercials. 

This has nothing to do with the fact that I don't like the show. The promos were nauseating and seemed to be begging me to watch. It was pathetic. Though I did laugh when Tina Fey did her Oprah imitation.

PARTING SHOT

Sandy read me a mistake from a story Friday night. I choke on my water.

D: Just take him out back and shoot him before he gets us all sick.

Sandy: He's not sneezing, D. He's just choking.

THE DAILY TOP LIST

My favorite five professional New Orleans basketball players.

5) James Posey.

It's been three games, and he's already in the top 5. He makes 3s. He takes the ball from LeBron. He steals passes by LeBron. He gives the best man hugs in the world. Seriously. Watch him one time. He doesn't let go and squeezes real tight.

4) David West.

When he's got his jumper going, he's a monster. 

3) Tyson Chandler.

That would be No. 6 Tyson Chandler. If Scott lets him guard Duncan 0ne-on-one last year, the Hornets win the series. He can switch the momentum with his dunks.

2) Pete Maravich.

I'm all about fancy moves. And no, D. You ain't getting my bobblehead. 

1) Chris Paul.

I felt bad for CP3 on Saturday. He had nobody to jump bump with. That made me sad.