I've been working at the T-P for more than seven years. A mere 56 years behind Finney. So, if he retires today, I need to work here until 2064 to catch him. Uhhhhhh.
Most of the T-P folks regularly mentioned in The Pool (as it's now being called) have been working here far longer than seven years. Several others are right around that. Some folks come and go, but the lineup around here largely has remained the same.
On Wednesday, I fought the urge to keep sleeping and headed down the street to have lunch (it was at 12:45; I got there at 1:15) with a few co-workers and an old colleague. I didn't realize how much I missed having him around until he captivated the table with a story that was no story in shorts (his phrase).
On the walk back home, I got to thinking about the top five former co-workers I miss having around.
5) Chris Grace.
Besides being related to Mark Grace, he was the first person at the T-P who realized I could do more than just answer the phone and jot down a score. Or maybe he was just being lazy. There's no way to know for sure.
In my first year, I worked Tuesdays (for volleyball scores) and Fridays (for prep football). On Fridays, there was a lot of sitting there doing nothing until 9:30 came and madness ensued. One day, Grace comes over and talks to me for a few minutes. Next thing you know, he's sending me wire stories to edit and put headlines on for the Sunday pup section. He even game me pointers and all that jazz.
Where is he now? I believe raising a family and being a lawyer. He may not even remember me. Whenever someone mentions the word "court" or "lawsuit" in the office, Brick always says: "1-800-Chris-Grace."
4) Will.
A top list within a top list. The top five reasons why I liked Will (using letters so as not to be confusing.)
e) He also broke off an engagement because he realized the girl was psycho. (Hope that didn't spoil The Final Chapter.) Not as psycho as Regina, but from what he described, not far off.
d) He was easy to get along with and not once did he complain or seem stressed.
c) He coached a biddy basketball team and would tell us about his temper on the bench. I think he got tossed like every other game.
b) He loved Friends. We talked about Friends like Max and JRap talk about Happy Days now. We would sit there during the non-busy times and go back-and-forth quoting scenes. He may have liked the show more than me.
a) He was a Cubs fan. He grew up on WGN. When I told him how I would skip activities and such to watch Cubs games, he responded: "Yeah. I once no-showed a date with this pretty attractive girl to watch a game." He also gave me my Cubs wristband that I wear during the season. Think he still has his?
Where is he now? As far as I know, he lives on the West Bank and coaches a lot.
3) Bob.
Sure, I hang with Bob a couple of times a month (most recently at my birthday dinner), but gosh darn it, I miss him at the office. If for nothing else than the fact that he used to get assigned Digest like every day.
Sometimes, I feel like Bob does work here. He's always telling me about mistakes he finds. His favorite is the day he realized that there wasn't a single person mentioned in the people section on Page 2. Oh, Bob.
We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss gossipping with you. I miss talking sports with you. I miss your humor. I miss your Yankees hat. I miss your flip flops on Sundays. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Where is he now? Doing God's work with Catholic Charities.
2) Christian.
Christian was the first person at the T-P to realize, "Hey, making fun of this kid will be fun." Oh, how he used to tease me. In 2002, he declared me T-P Rookie of the Year. Not because of anything I did (in fact, he threatened to take it away about once a shift) but because my opponent was going to attend Alabama. Christian, like me, loves him some LSU and Saints.
Christian trained me on prep stuff and all things agate, including Saints drive charts. During my college party days, I loved when Christian and I were the agate crew. 8:45 would roll around and unless we were really busy, he'd say, "You can get out of here." Plus, he could do the USA Today crossword puzzle in like eight minutes.
Where is he now? I believe working for his dad's company bossing people around.
1) Richard.
I had lunch with Richard on Wednesday. Well, sort of. He ate with some other co-workers, and I showed up toward the end to hang out and eventually ate lunch at home.
Not a week goes by that I don't miss having Richard around. Partially because his absence has caused me to do more work. Mainly because the department is less fun without him. There's still dirty jokes and all, but he's not here to knock them out the park onto Airline. And I can't remember the last time someone slipped and fell in the cafeteria.
To keep the memory of Richard alive at the office, I have his corn and unopened Diet Coke sitting on my desk. Yeah, you read that sentence correctly.
Where is he now? Living way up there on the north shore and raising money for City Park. Either that or he's secretly running the Oklahoma City Thunder. After all, they named the team in his honor when they selected Thunder from a list of better nicknames.
I gave Richard the moniker "Thunder" during a Saturday discussion back in 2007. I've called him Thunder ever since. The "Thunder" label came about something like this:
Richard: Are you kidding me, Gene? You wouldn't date Brooke Hogan because if you were at her house, you would pay more attention to her dad?
Me: That's a no-brainer. Plus, she's too tall.
Richard: What is this obsession with Hulk Hogan? Who did he ever beat up?
Where is he now? Doing God's work with Catholic Charities.
2) Christian.
Christian was the first person at the T-P to realize, "Hey, making fun of this kid will be fun." Oh, how he used to tease me. In 2002, he declared me T-P Rookie of the Year. Not because of anything I did (in fact, he threatened to take it away about once a shift) but because my opponent was going to attend Alabama. Christian, like me, loves him some LSU and Saints.
Christian trained me on prep stuff and all things agate, including Saints drive charts. During my college party days, I loved when Christian and I were the agate crew. 8:45 would roll around and unless we were really busy, he'd say, "You can get out of here." Plus, he could do the USA Today crossword puzzle in like eight minutes.
Where is he now? I believe working for his dad's company bossing people around.
1) Richard.
I had lunch with Richard on Wednesday. Well, sort of. He ate with some other co-workers, and I showed up toward the end to hang out and eventually ate lunch at home.
Not a week goes by that I don't miss having Richard around. Partially because his absence has caused me to do more work. Mainly because the department is less fun without him. There's still dirty jokes and all, but he's not here to knock them out the park onto Airline. And I can't remember the last time someone slipped and fell in the cafeteria.
To keep the memory of Richard alive at the office, I have his corn and unopened Diet Coke sitting on my desk. Yeah, you read that sentence correctly.
Where is he now? Living way up there on the north shore and raising money for City Park. Either that or he's secretly running the Oklahoma City Thunder. After all, they named the team in his honor when they selected Thunder from a list of better nicknames.
I gave Richard the moniker "Thunder" during a Saturday discussion back in 2007. I've called him Thunder ever since. The "Thunder" label came about something like this:
Richard: Are you kidding me, Gene? You wouldn't date Brooke Hogan because if you were at her house, you would pay more attention to her dad?
Me: That's a no-brainer. Plus, she's too tall.
Richard: What is this obsession with Hulk Hogan? Who did he ever beat up?
Me: Um, Rocky for one.
Richard: He was in Rocky?
Me: Yeah, the third one. You don't remember?
Richard: No.
Me: He was Thunder Lips. That's a great name. In fact, I'm going to start calling you that from now on.
I had to drop the "Lips" part because it was creeping out the co-workers. Thunder works better anyway.
How could anyone not miss that face? I bet we can come up with a woman or two if we put our heads together.
THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is reading the manual for her new phone. "I can't tell where the fucking model number is."
Mom is convinced that T-Mobile won't switch her number on the new phone from the temporary one back to her original number. "Fucking number. I can't catch a break." About six hours later, she got her old number back.
Mom has saved every phone we've ever used at our house, including cell phones. She takes out the box and goes through them. "You remember beepers? It would go 'Beep. Beep.' Then you'd have to find a fucking phone."
Mom does not like Kanye West. She hates him more now after his recent comments where he called himself the Michael Jordan of rap and the "voice of this generation." Mom (showing me the article): "What an arrogant motherfucker." I then read the article. I finish. "He's so fucking arrogant." (Agreed.)
TV WEEK IN REVIEW
Best line: Gary Unmarried. Gary and his new girlfriend are discussing football. Brett Favre is brought up, and she says she hates him. "I'd say it to his unshaven face. I'm a Dolphins girl, remember?" AWESOME.
The actual best line: House. Referring to Dr. Cuddy, House says: "I kinda hit that last night, and now she's all up on my jock."
Best scene: Heroes. The final scene. That Arthur is a bad mo fo. I don't think that was for real, though.
Best romantic scene: The Office. I knew Pam was going to be in the parking lot, but it still was a great reuniting moment. Then, Dwight topped it off with his: "Oh, you're back. I need you to make copies of these."
Best guest star: 30 Rock. For the third time in 2008, I watched a show with a much-hyped guest star and ended up liking a secondary guest star more. This time it was Harry Anderson (of Night Court fame) over Jennifer Aniston (who still looks great). Though Anderson is guilty of being a bitch in real life because he moved out of New Orleans, citing the depressed mood of the city post-Katrina.
This week's rant: I got to thinking the other day about this TV season as a whole. I wondered if I was enjoying shows more this year or last year. So, I broke down the 10 shows I've watched in both seasons to see which year is winning. It came out 5-5. What's that, Bud Selig? Call it a tie? OK.
LIKE THIS SEASON BETTER
Heroes
House
Family Guy
Chuck
Two and 3/4 Men
LIKED LAST SEASON BETTER
The Office
How I Met Your Mother
My Name Is Earl
Pushing Daisies
Samantha Who?
PARTING SHOTS
We're finishing up the work Saturday.
Derry: Hey, Marcus. You got a cold?
Marcus: Kind of sorta. Yeah.
Derry: I figured there must be something wrong with your nose because there's still some chocolate sitting over here.
Retro quote: November 15, 2004
Dr. Richard, my Parables professor, tells the class his feelings about the presidential election.
Dr. Richard: "I was ready for suicide. My fellow Americans, crap on you."
Richard: He was in Rocky?
Me: Yeah, the third one. You don't remember?
Richard: No.
Me: He was Thunder Lips. That's a great name. In fact, I'm going to start calling you that from now on.
I had to drop the "Lips" part because it was creeping out the co-workers. Thunder works better anyway.
How could anyone not miss that face? I bet we can come up with a woman or two if we put our heads together.THE TINA CURSING CORNER
My mom is reading the manual for her new phone. "I can't tell where the fucking model number is."
Mom is convinced that T-Mobile won't switch her number on the new phone from the temporary one back to her original number. "Fucking number. I can't catch a break." About six hours later, she got her old number back.
Mom has saved every phone we've ever used at our house, including cell phones. She takes out the box and goes through them. "You remember beepers? It would go 'Beep. Beep.' Then you'd have to find a fucking phone."
Mom does not like Kanye West. She hates him more now after his recent comments where he called himself the Michael Jordan of rap and the "voice of this generation." Mom (showing me the article): "What an arrogant motherfucker." I then read the article. I finish. "He's so fucking arrogant." (Agreed.)
TV WEEK IN REVIEW
Best line: Gary Unmarried. Gary and his new girlfriend are discussing football. Brett Favre is brought up, and she says she hates him. "I'd say it to his unshaven face. I'm a Dolphins girl, remember?" AWESOME.
The actual best line: House. Referring to Dr. Cuddy, House says: "I kinda hit that last night, and now she's all up on my jock."
Best scene: Heroes. The final scene. That Arthur is a bad mo fo. I don't think that was for real, though.
Best romantic scene: The Office. I knew Pam was going to be in the parking lot, but it still was a great reuniting moment. Then, Dwight topped it off with his: "Oh, you're back. I need you to make copies of these."
Best guest star: 30 Rock. For the third time in 2008, I watched a show with a much-hyped guest star and ended up liking a secondary guest star more. This time it was Harry Anderson (of Night Court fame) over Jennifer Aniston (who still looks great). Though Anderson is guilty of being a bitch in real life because he moved out of New Orleans, citing the depressed mood of the city post-Katrina.
This week's rant: I got to thinking the other day about this TV season as a whole. I wondered if I was enjoying shows more this year or last year. So, I broke down the 10 shows I've watched in both seasons to see which year is winning. It came out 5-5. What's that, Bud Selig? Call it a tie? OK.
LIKE THIS SEASON BETTER
Heroes
House
Family Guy
Chuck
Two and 3/4 Men
LIKED LAST SEASON BETTER
The Office
How I Met Your Mother
My Name Is Earl
Pushing Daisies
Samantha Who?
PARTING SHOTS
We're finishing up the work Saturday.
Derry: Hey, Marcus. You got a cold?
Marcus: Kind of sorta. Yeah.
Derry: I figured there must be something wrong with your nose because there's still some chocolate sitting over here.
Retro quote: November 15, 2004
Dr. Richard, my Parables professor, tells the class his feelings about the presidential election.
Dr. Richard: "I was ready for suicide. My fellow Americans, crap on you."
No comments:
Post a Comment